


Little Homeschool's Little Helper: Connie Maheswaran at Your Service!

by TranscendentalSpaceGem



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternative Perspective, Bar, Baseball, Canon Compliant, Community Service, Concussions, Connie POV, Depression, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Gen, I left their relationship a little ambiguous, Implied Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Implied Blue Pearl/Yellow Pearl - Freeform, Implied Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Innuendo, Introspection, Kinda, Loneliness, Low Self-Esteem, Minor Original Character(s), Moving, Older Connie Maheswaran, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-College Connie, Rose is Lion, Self-Doubt, Sparring, Therapy, Trans Character, Triggers, Underage Drinking, Volunteer Work, Vomiting, mention of drowning, mild violence, sex mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 86,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25243369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TranscendentalSpaceGem/pseuds/TranscendentalSpaceGem
Summary: It seems completely impossible and yet somehow it's true. Short on a newly required one hundred hours of community service it looks as if Connie isn't going to graduate high school!Unable to find an opening anywhere else this late in the school year and desperate to get back on the fast track to college, when Steven suggests she spend her volunteer hours working at Little Homeschool Connie reluctantly agrees.After all, she's only got a few months left until graduation and working for the Gems won't be too hard... right?---Affectionately known as Community Connie!
Relationships: Bismuth & Connie Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Doug Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Greg Universe, Connie Maheswaran & Pearl, Connie Maheswaran & Peridot, Connie Maheswaran & Priyanka Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Shy Rose Quartz, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Crystal Gems & Connie Maheswaran, Garnet & Connie Maheswaran, Jasper & Connie Maheswaran, Lapis Lazuli & Connie Maheswaran, Lion & Connie Maheswaran, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 154
Kudos: 115





	1. A Hundred Hours

**Author's Note:**

> A few things to note: This is Connie-centric and involves her interacting with different gems while working at Littleschool. Connie and Steven are dating and Steven appears/is mentioned in this first chapter quite a bit but after this you will not see much of him. He will be a minor character/element in this story from here on out. This chapter is mostly set-up but I hope you stick around for the things I have planned later.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie's plans for college look to be in ruin until her boyfriend presents her with an opportunity.

Connie can't wrap her mind around it. She has done everything, absolutely everything, right from the first day she started at Seaview High School! She crossed every "t" and dotted every "i." She has a 4.0 GPA. All of her teachers gave her glowing recommendations. She excels at her extracurricular activities. Her SAT scores are nearly perfect! She has been in contact with admissions offices and scholarship boards for years! She is already all set to go to college! There is just no way this can be real!

Yet it is; Connie Maheswaren isn't even going to graduate high school!

The meeting with her parents and guidance counselor that afternoon was an informative one since now Connie knew she would not be graduating with her class. She was so preoccupied with preparations for college she had missed the memo that her school now requires a certain amount of volunteer hours in order to get your diploma. As she had been unaware of this policy until that day she hasn't logged in any hours yet.

“A hundred hours?!” Steven says over a video chat call the same day she gets the news.

“Yeah, a hundred hours,” Connie says as if they haven’t gone over it already. She can see the city lights behind him past the guitar strapped to his back and hears voices as he walks.

Seemingly in just as much shock as her, he asks, “As in the number?”

“No, the letter.” She is pacing around her room feeling the tears prick at the edges of her eyes. “If I don’t complete my hours by the deadline then I have to do them over the summer."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"Steven, without a high school diploma, I can't register for classes," she explains though she can't blame him for not knowing that. "I'll have to wait another year before I can go to college."

"Oh."

"I have until May.”

“But that's only three months away!"

"I'm well aware." She flops down into her bean bag chair as her tears begin to slip down her face. “I can’t believe it! This morning I was a top candidate for valedictorian and now I’m not even going to graduate on time!”

“What’s a valedictorian?” he asks her. Before she can answer however she hears a feminine voice in a teasing tone explain instead.

“The valedictorian is the person who graduates first because they care more about studying than coming out to see their boyfriend's awesome band play.”

"It's cool, she'll come next time," Steven responds. Connie rolls her eyes, composing herself. Though she is happy that her boyfriend defended her.

“Aww, Baby can't make it tonight?" another male voice says in a much more dull but also teasing tone Connie doesn’t completely trust. That's most likely Devin. She hates it when Steven's friends call her any variation of "baby." She knows they're being playful but it reminds her too much of the girls from her middle school days.

“She had to go to an important meeting and she still has school tomorrow.”

A second girl rests her arm on Steven's shoulder, bringing her into Connie's sight. It's Kat so the first girl was probably Jackie. Keeping the same levity as the others she sighs dramatically before she says, "This is what you get for dating a high school girl, Stevie.”

After that Kat moves out of sight. A moment later Connie can hear laughter and unintelligible chatter fading into the background. She attempts to mock Steven with a smirk in her own playful tone, "Stevie?"

"It's just a silly nickname my friends call me," he answers, clearly embarrassed. Then he flashes her an apologetic smile. "You know they like giving nicknames."

Connie puts on an obviously fake smile as she seethes quietly to herself, “Yeah. I just love your new friends."

“They’re only kidding. They like you. They’re bummed you're not coming to our show tonight.” She doesn’t say it out loud but she doubts that.

“Maybe I should have.” She sinks lower in her seat, “I would have missed that meeting today and I wouldn’t know how close I am to not graduating.”

“Hey, you’re going to graduate,” he says and she hears the voices get quieter as he slows down to give her his full attention.

She sighs, wiping her face free of tears, “I’ve been to every organization I can think of looking for open spots. Most places aren’t looking for more volunteers right now. Apparently every school in town has implemented this “minimum one hundred hours of community service to graduate” policy. Which means most places already have more high school volunteers than they know what to do with. My mom is trying to see if she can get me in at the hospital but if that doesn’t work out I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“You’ll find something,” Steven reassures as she sees him stop to lean on a light post, giving her an affectionate smile, “You’re the smartest and most beautiful person I know. You’ve got this!”

A flirty look comes to her face. “What does me being beautiful have to do with anything?”

“Nothing.” His voice becomes deep and sexy, “I just love the way you look when I tell you that." 

“Steven,” she giggles, feeling flattered and embarrassed. She pushes her hair behind her ear.

"If I was in charge of giving you volunteer work, I’d do it just so I could see your gorgeous smile.” At first he is being flirty but soon she sees his face light up the way it does whenever he has an idea. “Connie, that’s it! I figured it out!”

“Figured what out?” 

He stands straight again, looking as if he might jump for joy. “How you can get your volunteer hours in!” 

“What? Tell me!” she says as she sits up, sobered completely from her infatuation for him.

“Little Homeschool!” he explains, “The Gems tell me all the time how busy things are there and they could always use more help! The more time gems spend with humans the better anyway! And you know so much about gems already. It’s perfect!”

“Would- would that work?” 

“Why not?”

Little Homeschool hadn’t even entered her mind as a possibility. Partially because of its distance but also because she had kept her search human centered and hasn’t considered that half of their tri-county’s population. Although Gems are becoming more a part of Earth society, the town of Little Homeworld is still mostly isolated from its neighboring towns, other than Beach City. Even if it isn’t on the approved list of volunteer organizations Connie can surely argue a case for it to count.

“Little Homeschool is technically a non-profit facility for both intergalactic immigrants and native born people that offers free housing, classes on life skills and job training and placement. I think that fits into the community service category pretty well.”

“Yeah!” Steven agrees as he continues walking. She can hear Devin calling his name over the video call, “And you know the Gems would want to help you. They really like you. They’re always asking me about you since they don’t see you much anymore.”

Watching her boyfriend lightly jog to catch up with his waiting bandmates, she replies, “I could look into it.” 

“I’m sure it'll work out,” he says then adds, “And you’re gonna be valedictorian. You earned it.”

“Thanks.” She can’t help the tickle in her stomach. He always knows exactly what to say when someone is feeling down. She’s a very lucky girl. He smiles that warm, loving smile of his that is reserved for her. Then she hears more people calling his name. He looks up and to the side before nodding a few times at whoever he is looking at.

“I gotta go,” he says with sadness lacing his words as he faces her again, “I need to get inside, we have to set up.”

“Okay, have a good show,” she says, disappointed to be saying goodbye so soon. Senior year has been a busy time for Connie and Steven is still traveling which means they've had to resort to shorter calls more often. They are currently living in different time zones. So even though it will be early morning for her when his show ends she asks, “Talk to you later tonight?”

“You bet.” He blows her a kiss with an audible 'mwah.' She giggles and blows a silent kiss back before they wave goodbye and he hangs up. She slides even further down until her legs and bottom are on the floor and only her top half is still on the bean bag. She lays there a few minutes, unable to muster the energy needed to get up. Instead she stares at the ceiling, gently crying and panicking about how her 5 year plan has been thrown into complete chaos. It isn't too long before she already misses Steven and ends up texting him: _'I don't care what time the show ends, call me!'_ to which he replies with the kissing, winking emoji with the heart. She sighs with both giddiness and sadness but before she closes the app she gets another message. This one from Pearl.

_'Hello Connie, Steven sent me a message using the text application on my cell phone telling me you are in need of something called volunteer hours and would like to help out with some of our classes and activities here at Little Homeschool. Of course we would be delighted to have you! Especially as human interaction is so important for gem integration. I think it would be good for everyone involved to have you with us. From Pearl.'_

She glares at her phone with a frown, somewhat annoyed. She understands that Steven is trying to help but he can get overly excited and jumps the gun. To be fair, who knows if she would have reached out if he hadn't. She can't be too upset at how he does his best to look out for her. He would do anything to see her happy and she knows that.

Of the Crystal Gems, Connie would say she has the most… complex relationship with Pearl. She has definitely had fun with Amethyst in the past and Garnet has always been encouraging and supportive. Plus she absolutely adores Stevonnie, a being who is at their core half Connie. Truth be told though, Connie has a stronger relationship with Greg Universe than she does the rest of her boyfriend's family. She's had quite a few conversations with Mr. Universe over the years about feeling like a tourist in the gems' world.

Those conversations became less needed over the years. Her life has caught up to her, the adventures are done with and she has neither a reason nor time to spend in the realm of gems. It's not at the top of her list of things to do when she has free time. She has her own friends as well as new hobbies and responsibilities now. She's lost some of her interest in space at this point too. She still finds it fascinating of course but she has other interests that are much easier to access. She has only been to Little Homeworld a handful of times and each time was with Steven. Which is another factor in all of this. Seeing the Gems without Steven has become a little weird ever since they started dating. Especially considering how inappropriate they can be when it comes to their relationship. The result of all this is that she doesn't see the Gems as often as she used to see them. Who hangs out with their boyfriend’s family alone anyway?

When she was younger and involved in their missions, she spent a lot of time with them. She's been one on one with most of the Gems before. Her trips to the beach house have become frequent again in recent years. However she's 18 now and as a hot-blooded young woman, her mind (along with the rest of her) is hyper focused on one thing whenever she does visit; That thing being Steven Universe.

Not to mention that’s just the gems Connie grew up with. She isn't sure how she should feel about Bismuth from the stories Steven told her. The Gem made her a sword and eventually told Connie she did so because a human brave enough to charge at a Diamond deserved a weapon of her own. She is even less sure how to feel about Jasper and has a hard time understanding how the gem and Steven made peace after everything that happened. Her relationship with Peridot and Lapis used to be strained. They get along okay these days though. She doesn't know most of the gems at Little Homeworld outside those seven well enough to guess what they're like. She isn't sure what it would be like to interact with them. If they have such limited contact with humans then what will they make of her?

Sitting up, she looks up from her phone and over to her desk. She can see the pamphlets for various Universities neatly organized from there. She can see her notepad of "Pros" and "Cons" lists she has been making for each school that she applied to. Her options had been vast just that morning and now they have shrunk down to none. All because Connie didn't know about the new policy for every school in her district requiring community service to graduate. She is only a few months from the end of her senior year. She is currently facing the possibility of summer school to finish. She'll miss out on her one and only shot at being class valedictorian, making her half-written speech a waste of time. Every place she looked into that day turned her away with a promise to call if her help is needed. Her mother can't guarantee a spot at the hospital either. Pearl, on the other hand, is already offering space for her to help. Anyone could see the saving grace she is being given and would think she was being ridiculous if she turned it down. What other choice does she have?

Slowly she stands up and walks over to her desk. She plops into the chair then she texts Pearl back: _'That sounds great, Pearl. Thank you so much for the opportunity! I just have to check in with my counselor to see if Little Homeschool qualifies under the guidelines and then I'll let you know. Talk soon. -Connie.'_

She signs her name because Pearl had and she hits send before she realizes it. Setting her phone on her desk, she pulls her notepad back over towards her and takes out her brochures to work on her lists. She is going to try to remain optimistic. She is going to trust Steven on this one. She is going to graduate and she is going to be valedictorian.

* * *

Connie’s first thought when she hops off of Lion at the entrance of Little Homeworld is of how big it is. It’s silly because she's been here before. She saw it when it was being built and she’s seen it several times after it was “finished.” She knows Bismuth has continued her work but she can’t imagine it’s been that long since she last saw the small make-shift town. (Though it's not small or make-shift now.) It has to have been some time however because the place is starting to look like more of a city than Beach City itself. She had told Pearl she would meet her at the center warp, confident she would be able to navigate her way there. Looking at the buildings, feeling almost insignificant, she isn’t so sure anymore. Nothing looks familiar except for Bismuth’s pride and joy, the tower, smack dab in the middle of town.

Trying to waste as little time as possible, she makes her way inside, shrugging her backpack up higher on her back as she does. The meeting with her guidance counselor had gone better than Connie hoped. Not only did he approve of her choice of organization, he had been downright thrilled she had found one on her own. She had made Little Homeschool sound impressive. She needs to meet up with Pearl to get her schedule finalized and approved by her counselor then she will be all set to start on her volunteer work. Thinking about how well she argued the benefits this place had to the surrounding community makes her puff her chest out in pride. She walks with confidence, more sure of her status than earlier.

Luckily, she finds her way through town quite easily, using the tall tower as a guide, and is surprised by how many humans she passes on her way. The number of gems far exceeds them though and she sees so many types she hasn’t before. The gems seem to have only two modes with no in-between, either they’re rushing on their way somewhere or walking leisurely. She can recognize a quartz when she sees one as they’re so common and very close in appearance to Amethyst… and Jasper whom she is aware is there but has yet to see (or at least not the Jasper). She feels her blood boil at the thought and has to remind herself that people change and the fight is over. She finds she isn't as forgiving as others and counts it as a good thing the two don’t bump into each other.

She tries not to flinch visibly when she sees a few Topaz gems sitting together. They all have friendly smiles they send her way. However the shivers up and down her spine and the goosebumps that follow are impossible to ignore. Some of that new found confidence seeps away. She knows they aren’t these same gems who kidnapped her, so why is she scared? Speaking of the one Aquamarine who whizzes over her calls out a “sorry” with a tiny wave as well. That time she can't hold back her jumpy response. Fortunately the gem doesn't notice her fear. Sapphires and Rubies are a little bit strange to see as they probably remind her most of the Sapphire and Ruby she already knows. She has to do a double take every time she sees two of them together because she thinks it might be Garnet split up. They don’t look at her with even a hint of recognition though.

She finds one building with many tiny windows and doors. She sees pebbles and beetle gems entering and exiting. Some of them are fixing things or cleaning and some are playing games. Others are cooking or eating. A few are even attempting to sleep. It’s adorable how they seem to have a miniature society of their own confined to this one structure. Cute enough she stops for a moment to take it all in. Some of them wave and call "hello." They must remember her from Pink’s room on Homeworld. It warms her heart. She’s practically getting whiplash from how quickly she goes from enjoying herself to tip toeing around in discomfort. She doesn’t see any other gems she knows personally, at least not until she reaches the center warp and spots Pearl while she is in the middle of a conversation with Garnet and Amethyst.

“Hey, Pearl!” Connie calls as she jogs towards the trio with her hand waving above her head.

“Oh, there you are! Hello, Connie!” Pearl turns her way and walks towards her as she waves in that way she does where she flaps her hand up and down like a bird’s wing. The other two turn her way as well and she gets the impression they had been talking about her. She knows that whatever they were saying probably had to do with her working there with them over the next few weeks but her stomach does a flip as she worries that they may have actually been talking about her and Steven. He assures her the Gems like them being together but even with so much evidence in her favor sometimes she wonders if that is true. It must be natural to be concerned about whether or not she has the approval of her boyfriend’s family. Her parents, for example, seem to like Steven as a person but she’s not so sure they like him as her boyfriend.

Although it has been some time since they were officially master and student, Connie finds herself bowing in respect to Pearl as they reach each other. She’s embarrassed as she straightens up until she sees Pearl quickly return the bow. 

"It's wonderful to see you again and you're right on time." Pearl smiles warmly at her. Connie is put off by how happy the Gem is to see her. She is not sure what she expected but this isn’t it. Amethyst and Garnet soon join them.

“Sup, girl? Been awhile," Amethyst says in a chill tone as she gives a peace sign. A knowing and mischievous look comes to her face, “Last time I saw you, you and the Ste-man were busy hardcore smushing faces.”

“Amethyst!” Pearl scolds as the other Gem laughs. Connie can’t see her own face but she still knows Amethyst is amused at how red she is. Because it’s in that moment she remembers the last time they had seen each other was on New Year’s Eve. The purple Gem had caught her making out with Steven rather intensely under the deck of the beach house after the fireworks show.

She’s thankful when Garnet steps forward, flicking both other Gems roughly on the back of the head as she walks by them to stand right in front of her, “Hello, Connie. You look good.”

“Thanks, Garnet.” She appreciates the compliment even though she is looking down, trying to hide the red covering her face.

“We’re excited to have you working with us.” She says it in that same even, not quite monotone voice that she says almost everything in. However Connie can tell the Gem means it by her smile. She takes it as a good sign. Garnet must see this situation going well or else she wouldn’t appear so calm. They all seem genuinely happy to see her. It’s a huge relief as she had been scared this was going to be awkward. It’s not without its awkwardness (as Amethyst proved) but it’s nowhere near what she feared. Then Pearl hops ahead of Garnet in the small space she left between herself and Connie before she begins to walk forward in a way implying that the girl should follow.

“Now then, come along, Connie. I’ll show you around. I know it’s been some time since your last visit.” She doesn’t think that Pearl is trying to be passive aggressive (honestly though it can be hard to tell with her so maybe she is) but she feels guilty about that anyway. It makes it a tad more awkward but still manageable.

“First is Bismuth’s forge, of course.” Pearl has her finger up as if she is in tour guide mode. “We think it’s important gems learn to build things for themselves as it is a valuable life skill and many human objects are not suitably made for gems of a certain size.”

Bismuth lifts her head up from her work and waves as they pass, “Well, if it isn’t little Connie. Haven’t seen you around these parts in awhile. Not since the last time Steven brought you into town."

“Hey, Bismuth,” she says as they pass, "You look like you're working hard."

"When am I ever not?" She laughs before getting back to work. They don't get to say more to one another as the large Gem gets back to teaching. She does see the way Pearl waves with a bit of flirty affection. Connie feels like a hypocrite since she doesn't like it when people pry into her relationship but she wonders what is going on there.

“And here we have the dormitories,” Pearl continues as she leads Connie into the next building. She has seen dorm buildings before and while the name still fits, these rooms are nicer than the ones she has toured being more like the little apartments she saw in the tiny gems' mini society. These gems are partaking in the same activities. “This is where gems live and have leisure time or even eat and sleep if they so desire. You won’t be spending much time here but I thought it would be beneficial for you to see as much of our school as possible.”

Connie is looking around and has to do a double take as she is sure for a moment she sees familiar pink hair in ringlets as a gem enters one of the rooms. She doesn't look back fast enough to confirm her suspicions though so she follows Pearl out of the building. “Why do some gems live in dorms and some have their own homes?”

“Excellent question, Connie! We assign most of our students to the dormitories and give gems who have graduated houses if they want to make a life here on Earth. Some choose to leave Little Homeworld but we want those who wish to stay here to be as comfortable as possible.”

Again Connie can’t tell if she is being patronized. So she instead follows Pearl without comment. Pearl leads her by a set of greenhouses and stops so she can look in the window of one. There she sees the first gem she is worried about spending time with, Peridot. She vaguely hears Pearl tell her that this is the small Gem’s horticultural class. Connie doesn’t need a greenhouse or gardening explained to her. She does have to say she is impressed by Peridot’s work. The two of them then make their way around the building and as they pass the door, Peridot spots them and as to be expected comments on her presence.

“Oh, hello,” she says rather friendly then speaks with authority to her students, “Now class, if you look to your right you will see the human Connie. She will be assisting with our classes and activities over the coming weeks. You may have seen her before in the company of Steven Universe as the two of them have a clear romantic interest in one another.”

“Hi Peridot, thanks for the introduction,” Connie deadpans with annoyed half-lidded eyes, waving awkwardly at the gems now watching her walk by.

“You’re very welcome!” Peridot answers, oblivious to Connie’s sarcasm. She chooses not to say anything else as she and Pearl leave the greenhouse behind. She is getting frustrated at this point. Her boyfriend has come up more times than she would like. She was also Pearl’s student and yet no one has said anything about that. Why is there such a prominent association between herself and Steven? Do none of them think of her as her own person?

“Next up there is the morp studio.” Pearl says and Connie feels her heart drop into her feet. Morp is what the gems call art and unsurprisingly it is the "creator" of morp showing gems how to express themselves creatively. She is three times as nervous being around Lapis as she is Peridot. In fact Jasper is the only person she dreads seeing more than the water gem. Though she is at least somewhat optimistic the two of them won’t run into each other anytime soon. To her relief Lapis is far too focused on the class to notice Pearl and Connie walk by. Pearl doesn’t seem too keen on interrupting her either. It’s nice to know her trepidation concerning the blue gem is not unfounded.

She and Pearl continue on, but other than those buildings there isn’t much structure. Classes are held wherever they happen to take place. The benches outside, the woods or by the beach (all despite it being winter). Others happen in one of the buildings (only some of which are actually set up like classrooms), on top of the giant tower in the center of town or even in any random open areas within Little Homeworld’s bounds. It’s not unlike a human university but it’s also not like one. Strangely enough a few classes seem to have human students as well.

What she hasn't seen though is humans teaching the classes. She wonders if she will be the first human "employee" they have ever had. Even if she isn't, she is certainly one of a small number. She’s not sure what to make of it all yet. She's also not sure what to make of the gems she's crossed paths with so far. Many were friendly but then a few whispered as she walked by. Do they treat all of the humans they see this way or does she stand out? She tries to push the thought from her mind. She has more important things to focus on. Namely getting in her volunteer hours and getting back on track for graduation.

“Now then,” Pearl explains after they circle the area and end up back in the center of the town where Amethyst and Garnet still are. Although they are now holding separate conversations with other gems. Pearl retrieves a paper from her gem as she continues to explain, “As you can see we offer a variety of classes and we have many gems willing to learn. Based on the information you shared with me I’ve set up a schedule I think will work best for everyone."

"That's perfect," Connie says as she takes the paper and Garnet and Amethyst finish their conversations to rejoin them. "This means so much to me!"

“Happy to help,” Amethyst says before Pearl answers her, “The more hands we have around here, the better. Some of the gems really love spending time with humans too.”

“It's true. Honestly, we’re the ones who should be thanking you,” Pearl says with a clap and a smile on her face.

“Aww thanks, guys,” Connie says a little touched by their words. She stands up straight and salutes as she says, “Connie Maheswaran is at your service!”

“Alright that’s enough for now," Garnet says, commanding their attention. "We've all got classes to teach. We'll see you this weekend."

Connie is confused by her statement. Little Homeschool runs much later than her school does so she expected to start sooner. It's only Tuesday. She doesn't have time to waste. The more work she gets done early on the better off she is.

However before she can ask about it Garnet tilts her visor down to look at something behind Connie and adds, “Besides, I’m sure you would like some privacy as well.”

Connie remains confused until a pair of arms wrap around her waist in a hug and lift her into the air. She would be afraid except she knows exactly who it is even before he shifts her body around to face him. She giggles joyfully from the second she is picked up to the second her stomach is pressed to his chest and she is looking down at him.

“Surprise!” he cheers happily with her held up in his arms, one resting under her thighs to support her weight and the other around her back.

“Steven!” Connie cries out in glee. She throws her arms and legs around him in a full body hug. Steven squeezes her tightly to him. She pulls back to shift her hands onto his cheeks to squish his face. Enjoying the feeling of his facial hair under her palms, she kisses him. It’s not a sweet, chaste kiss either. It’s a deep kiss filled with the passion a month apart will build up in someone who loves their partner as much as Connie does Steven.

When she finally releases his mouth, there is an intoxicated look on his face "Whoa, I, I’m so h-hi to see to you too."

“What?” she asks with a loving smile, running her fingers through his curls. Steven thinks for a second then realizes his mistake.

“Hi to you too. I’m so happy to see you,” he corrects. He looks embarrassed, letting go of her back to hold his hand up in a pinch gesture with a tiny space between his pointer finger and thumb, “But don’t you think it was a bit much?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh...” He looks past her arm. Connie doesn’t remember where they are and who they are with until he does so. She quickly scrambles out of his grasp. They are a couple that doesn’t hold back on displaying affection publicly but there is a difference between making out in front of one's friends or even strangers and making out in front of one's family members. She looks behind her, embarrassed. She isn’t sure if it’s good or bad that the Gems have already left when she turns around. It must have been so uncomfortable for them to have to watch her french kiss someone who is essentially their son. Although Steven is more like a brother in Amethyst’s case that doesn’t make Connie tongue kissing him in front of her any less weird.

"Hey," he says as he puts his hand on her shoulder to encourage her to turn back and face him again. His confident, adorable smile melts all the tension away, "I missed you."

He has all of her attention. Her reality becomes her and Steven. Nothing can ruin the joy of being with the love of her life for the first time in six weeks. He brushes some loose hair behind her ear then presses his palm to her cheek, "Did you miss me?"

"Of course I missed you, silly!" She is unable to hold back a grin as she asks, “What are you doing here?”

“Pearl told me you were coming to Little Homeschool today so I came home early." He blushes, looking a bit shy. “I couldn't wait two more days to see you."

For a moment Connie doesn't know what he means then she remembers, "Oh, right."

"Did you forget about Valentine's Day?" His voice is teasing as he starts walking to the warp pad and she follows.

“I almost did. I'm so sorry. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Steven shrugs like it isn't a big deal to him which is sweet since she knows that it is, "It's fine."

She jogs to catch up with him so that they can walk together. She smirks with half-lidded eyes, “So I’m guessing that I have plans.”

“Oh yeah,” Steven replies as he reaches down to grab her hand and interlace their fingers, “Your boyfriend has got big plans. Plans that will cost him a lot of money and involve multiple locations.”

“You know that I have school the next day, right?”

“Don’t worry.” He smiles, waving his other hand casually, “You’ll still be in bed by 10, I promise.”

“Hmm.” She mocks a thinking face then asks, “ _My_ bed?”

"Well, it will be **a** bed."

She leans closer so she can keep her voice quiet as she asks, "Should I expect to get any sleep?"

“Now that, I can’t promise.”

“Then should I expect…” She moves in even closer to whisper the end of her sentence into his ear. When she leans back, he is red-faced and wide-eyed.

He clears his throat and can’t look directly at her. “If that’s, uh, what the lady wants…”

“She wants.”

“Then she can expect it.” It's adorable how quickly he flips between suave and shy. She looks around, gems are definitely staring. She tenses, realizing these gems don’t know her yet and they might only think of her as being with Steven when they see her from now on.

“Hey, don’t worry. This place isn’t as scary as it looks." Connie feels Steven squeeze her hand in reassurance when he says it. "You're gonna do great, valedictorian.”

She can’t help but relax at his words, leaning her head on him before they step on the warp. She knows he’s right. Everyone here has more to worry about than who she is and what her relationship is with him or any of the other Gems. She can take a breath as everything is under control and she is back on the path to success. She’ll be cutting it close but she can do it. There is nothing in her way except a couple hours of working at Little Homeschool. How bad could that be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is mostly set-up but I hope you saw the seeds I've planted and are interested in where this will go. Also feel free to tell me which gems you would like to see Connie interact with and I'll see if I can fit them in. Most of the story is already planned, but I do have some leeway to work with and I would love to know!
> 
> Feedback always Welcome!
> 
> Also you feel like check out this cool SU fanfic discord I'm part of:
> 
> https://discord.gg/4YdDxs6


	2. Hour 001: Crystal Gems Don't Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie first day volunteering is somehow both better and worse than she expects.

The first day Connie arrives for her actual volunteer work, it is her mom who drops her off at the entrance to Little Homeworld. Lion, for as great as he is at cutting down travel time, can't always be relied on. Though she has noticed the wildcat responds to her much better than he does Steven despite being the latter’s pet lion. Priyanka’s eyebrow knit together in worry, looking out the window and up at the buildings closest to them. Connie busies herself with gathering her duffel bag out of the backseat, making note of the unreadable, “hmmmm,” from her mother.

“You said this place is called _Little_ Homeschool?” she asks as Connie pulls her bag into her lap and opens her door to get out of the car. She can’t really blame her mother for her trepidation. She had unintentionally led her mother to believe the town was much smaller than it is. She hopes Lion will be available more often. She is afraid her parents will only be able to take so much of seeing their young daughter run off into this kind of a place alone. They certainly don’t hate gems and get along well with the ones in Steven’s immediate family, but even all these years later magic aliens can be a hard concept for a human to grasp.

“Well, this outside part is Little Home _world_. Little Home _school_ is more in the center of the town. That's probably where I’ll be most of the time,” she explains to her mother as she is getting out of the car. She moves to close the door but can see from the look on her mom’s face she is not quite convinced. So she leans on the car hood instead. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna be with the Gems. If they can keep me safe all over the world and even in space they can keep me safe in a town they are in charge of.”

“I just wish I could have gotten you in at the hospital,” she says, regretfully, “Are you sure you don’t want me to keep trying?”

“Mom, I can handle this.” She anxiously looks over her shoulder. The hospital would be a more traditional option but she had done maybe too good of a job selling her counselor on this place. He was talking to her the day before about how she could spin her work with the gems beyond a graduation requirement and even put it on her future resume. She feels committed and trying to get in anywhere else might be a waste of time for both her and her mother.

"Alright, if you say so," her mom answers in a voice that says she doesn't really trust Connie but that she also doesn't want to press the issue in case it pushes her daughter away. "But I'm just not sure this is the best place for you to be doing your volunteer hours…"

"Mom, I've been dealing with magic stuff since I met Steven. I know what I'm doing." She doesn't want to be late on her first day and her mom is holding her up. It's Sunday so her schedule has her here for five hours today then another three on both Wednesdays and Thursdays. She will be working here for the next nine to ten weeks. She is still only barely going to make the deadline even with all the hours she's going to be working.

"Fine, I'll back off. Just be careful, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," she leans back in the car and across the seats to give her mom a hug and kiss, “Okay. I gotta go, Pearl is waiting for me."

"You have your phone?" her mom says as she exits the car again. “And your lunch? Water?"

"I have everything I need. Love you. See you at 3!"

She closes the door and rushes around the car as her mother calls out the window. "Call your father if you need anything!”

“I will!” she calls back as she hurries through the entrance. She makes her way down the street into the center of the town. It’s the same as she left it three days ago. If anything it may be less bustling than it was that day. Perhaps the weekends are less busy than the rest of the week. Though that will probably be good for her since she is putting in more hours on Sunday than she is on the weekdays.

Pearl is waiting for her in the same spot as last time and Connie raises her hand in a wave only to drop it when she sees her deep in a conversation with Bismuth. Were Connie a cat a passerby would have seen her ears perk up in interest. At first she thinks this has to do with whatever flirty energy has been bouncing between the two since that night at the roller rink a few years back, so she tries to stealth her way around them and gather whatever information she can before they realize she is there. However, she soon realizes that is not the case because Bismuth and Pearl look somewhere between contemplative and worried. Upon seeing this Connie drops her attempt at being sneaky and jogs over. They don’t notice until she is almost next to them.

“Oh, Connie, goodness,” Pearl says when she sees her, slightly surprised. Though she is calm only a moment later, “I almost forgot you were joining us.”

“Hey, Pearl. Hi, Bismuth.” She looks between the two gems, giving a tiny wave to them each and Bismuth smiles down at her.

“Hey, little Connie,” Bismuth says, standing straight with her hands on her hips, not a hint of worry left in her proud stance. “Word on the street is we’re gonna be seeing a lot more of you around town. That’s great to hear! We always need more help! You could teach the humans we usually get in this place a thing or two. Heck, the gems here might even be able to learn something from you.”

“Oh, thanks.” Connie feels herself blush and turns her eyes to the ground, “That’s so nice of you to say.”

“Hey now.” Connie hears, as a hand lands on her shoulder and almost knocks her off-balance, “Pick that head up! You’re a Crystal Gem! Be proud.”

She raises her face back up with a smile. Bismuth is beaming down at her and Pearl has that fondness on her face again. Connie feels a surge of confidence. She has no reason to be nervous; she is more than welcome and they’re clearly happy to have her here. Besides, a few classroom tasks won’t be too hard. Now that she is starting to feel more at ease she is getting a little excited.

“Yes, you have every reason to be proud. And we’re proud of you, Connie,” Pearl adds. There is a softness in her words that Connie feels is new. “Alright then, let’s get you to work.”

Bismuth turns back to Pearl after she says that and hits her closed fist into her opposite palm, “Wait a minute. Pearl, I think I have a solution to our problem!”

“What?” Pearl asks, then shakes her head when she understands even though Connie doesn’t, “Oh no. No, no, no! Out of the question. She could get hurt.”

Bismuth waves the other Gem off with a chuckle, “Connie is more equipped to handle a day of work in the forge with me than half the gems in Little Homeworld.”

Connie's eyes go wide. The forge? With the weapons and hot liquid metal? She isn’t sure where she had expected to be placed her first day but this hadn’t even been a possibility in her mind. So much for telling her parents about her first day volunteering. Pearl puts on her thinking face, elbow in one hand and her other hand over her chin. She is considering Bismuth’s suggestion and Connie doesn’t know what answer she is hoping Pearl gives. She does know she wants to start logging in hours and Bismuth is presenting her with an opportunity to do so.

"It's okay, Pearl! I'll be fine," Connie says with a confidence she isn't sure is earned, "If Bismuth needs extra help today then I should go with her. That's exactly why I'm here."

Pearl shakes her head, “I'm well-aware of that but the forge can be quite dangerous and you are still a fragile human.”

“Fragile? Are you kidding me?” Bismuth gives another laugh, “Have you seen this girl in action? She can take care of herself and we both know it.”

“She is quite resilient.” Pearl takes her hand away from her chin to brush back her own hair. "And an excellent sword-fighter."

“She did have a great teacher.” Bismuth says, turning on a flirtatious charm when she does and Connie finds herself nodding in agreement. Pearl was a great teacher, for the most part anyway. Pearl actually blushes at that and smiles smugly.

“I suppose,” Pearl says when she regains her professionalism again, “It is a practical solution to our problem,"- she turns to Connie putting a hand on her shoulder- "Alright, I want you to stay with Bismuth for the day. Do what she says, but remember to be careful.”

"You got it, ma'am," Connie says as Pearl releases her and steps back. Bismuth pats her hard on the back for a second time and Connie gets jostled again. The large Gem may be overestimating just how tough Connie is.

"Sounds like a plan! Come on, we've got some Bismuth to take care of."

Connie laughs as Bismuth guides her to the forge. Dutifully, Connie follows. It's not far from where they started. She almost feels relieved to be out of the cold, February air and in the hot building. The air feels thick and moist. There’s a large anvil in the center of the room with a few workbenches not far from it. Bismuth’s work is all around the room. Armor, shields, weapons, adornments, ornaments, ect. Though Connie can’t be sure it was all made by the large Gem, the way it is prominently displayed makes her suspect Bismuth is showing off her work. The forge is a tiny bit larger than she expects it to be but everything inside is spaced out enough for it to be comfortable. This is not a place where people want to be standing on top of each other so there are plenty of open, empty areas in the room.

She drops her bag to the floor and strips off her hat, coat, scarf, and gloves. She is still hot so she takes off her sweater as well, leaving her in her undershirt. Bismuth hands her a thick apron. It's definitely heavy but not to the point of restricting her movement, leaving only her mostly bare arms unprotected. It will keep the majority of her body safe though. She just has to be aware of her exposed skin.

"What's the plan?" she asks coming to the center of the room to see Bismuth by a large crate. She is pulling off the lid and it hits the floor with a loud thud after which she tips the whole thing over so the contents spill out. Connie jumps back in reflex though all that falls out are various bats, rackets, clubs, skis, skates and similar types of gear. All of which are broken or busted to some degree.

"Sports equipment?" she asks, picking up the bottom half of a broken tennis racket that is closest to her. She hasn't touched one of these in years. She has given up tennis because group activities look much better on college applications. She runs track now instead.

"Yep!" Bismuth says as she picks up a ball that seems to be in working condition and somehow got mixed up in the crate, "Couple years ago most gems didn't even know what 'sports' were, but now they can't get enough of them. We're trying to set up a few teams in town, maybe even hold some competitions. But unfortunately,"- Bismuth shifts her hand into a paddle, tosses the ball up and hits it hard as soon as it comes down. It flies to the other side of the room and explodes into pieces the second after it hits the wall- "This human equipment wasn't exactly designed with gems in mind."

Connie nods. "And we're going to fix these ones up to better handle gem power."

"You catch on fast." Bismuth starts to pick things up and piles them into Connie's open arms. Her feet splay as she tries to stay standing. Bismuth is definitely overestimating her abilities. The gem picks up the rest of the equipment then heads deeper into the forge, "Peridot's been working on making a more durable material for the balls. For now, all this has got to be fixed and reinforced with tougher metal. We're not trying to make stuff unusable to humans, just better suited for gems."

Bismuth drops her pile by her work station. Connie is relieved to be able to drop hers as well. The gem smiles down at her with an eyebrow cocked, "Think you can handle it?"

Connie's arms and back hurt already from the weight but determined as ever she stands straight with her own smile. 

"Yeah, let's do this!"

As Pearl said, Connie is a fast learner. Bismuth goes over the basics once and she's confident enough to start working. She does have to remind Bismuth that she needs work gloves and protective eye wear because unlike gems she is made of flesh. Luckily, the gloves are big and cover a lot of her forearms and the eye wear only barely limits visibility. After that they get to work. It's not easy by any definition of the word but they fall into a groove together soon enough. Bismuth works on a larger scale and Connie handles smaller work. She's not as relieved to be in the forge with her heavy apron and thick gloves on as she was earlier as she is already out of the water her mom packed for her. Her eye wear starts to fog up and needs to be periodically wiped off. 

It's a grueling couple of hours but Bismuth's high energy is contagious. It is surprisingly easy to hear her voice over the banging of tools. Most of what she says consists of things like "Nice work," or "looking good," or "you're a natural," with helpful tips sprinkled in-between. It’s encouraging. Despite having never done anything like this she feels like she is back in her element. She feels strong and in control. She is sure of herself in a way that's new but familiar. She doesn't know quite what to make of the feeling but she knows she likes it.

"Hey, slow down," Bismuth says in that booming, teasing voice, "Whatever my hammer did to upset you, I'm sure it's very sorry."

"What?" Connie asks, feeling and hearing how out of breath she is when she does. Her body sags down. Her muscles are starting to ache. She doesn't realize how in need of a break she is until that moment.

Bismuth says, still friendly if cautious, "You're hitting that thing way too hard. And I don't need another anvil ruined but an overeager teenager."

"Sorry," she says, dropping the hammer and feeling exhaustion hit her.

"Don't worry about it. Let's take a few."

Connie nods. She’s hot. She pulls off all of the gear she has been wearing but she is still hot. She rolls her shirt up and tucks the hem of it under the bust section. Her hair is already pulled into a pony-tail but she reaches back to tighten it and get hair off of her neck. In that time Bismuth has gone and gotten her more water as she is now holding a bottle of it out to her.

"Oh thank you!" she says, twisting it open and trying not to chug it immediately.

"No problem." Bismuth takes a good look at her as if she is sizing her up then smiles almost in disbelief, shaking her head. "I always forget you humans can build up your muscles and change your bodies. Gems can't really change their form without shapeshifting or reforming after being poofed."

Connie looks down and her hand falls to her midsection. Very few young women have the kind of abs that Connie does. She doesn't need to keep up a workout routine, but she does anyway. She likes being fit. The only person who regularly sees her toned body though is Steven, who has made his appreciation quite obvious, so it's always strange when someone else comments on her muscles. They look so natural to her that she forgets most girls her age have soft, delicate, curvy, _feminine_ bodies. Suddenly she feels very self-conscious.

"You still get any use out of that sword?" Bismuth asks her, leaning on the wall nearby. It seems even though she doesn't need to take a rest of her own, the rainbow haired gem has chosen to relax for a moment with Connie.

She nods, "I practice sometimes. It's good for working on agility and balance which is good for running track."

"That's good to hear! I was worried with all the fighting done it was just gonna collect dust." She sighs, "It's a shame that sword didn't get to see much action. She's a beauty."

"Everything you make is beautiful, Bismuth." She looks around at the swords, axes, maces and various other weapons and armor on the walls, "You still make a ton of weapons, huh?"

Bismuth looks around proudly, "Of course I do. I love making weapons and shields and armor. It's why I became a Crystal Gem in the first place. Nothing in the world is more satisfying than finishing work on one of these babies."

Connie nods then looks a bit sad, "It's too bad there's no more use for them."

"Yeah," Bismuth says as she takes one of the swords down off the wall. She holds it up in front of her then quickly swings it to the side as if to show Connie how cleanly it cuts through the air. "My craftsmanship has only gotten better over the years too. Those Homeworld elites wouldn't stand a chance if I was making weapons today and we had more warriors like you."

"Well, I don't know if that's true…"

"Of course it's true! Don’t you forget that I've seen you in a fight and you should hear the way Steven brags about his "knight" to anyone who will listen."

Connie flushes. Bismuth had given her a look that added suggestion to what she said. At first she enjoyed all the praise. At this point though it's starting to feel like Bismuth was just saying stuff like this for the sake of it. 

Why would a gem as strong and battle ready as Bismuth think so highly of Connie? 

The logical explanation is that she is exaggerating to flatter her. She can only think of one reason why she would do so as well. The reason Bismuth herself gave. She should just accept that her boyfriend is the thing everyone is going to define her by the entire time she works here.

"I'm not much of a knight these days," Connie says, looking off to the side. "And I was barely one back then."

"Nonsense!" She can hear in her voice that Bismuth is looking at her like she can't believe what she is saying. It isn't the same tone she was using before. This one conveys disbelief in her teasing. Connie is starting to feel condescended to when out of nowhere the hilt of that same sword is in her face. The grip is a burgundy color with a curved silver guard. It was definitely made for a smaller hand and Bismuth had to put her fingers outside the grip when she swung it. It’s clean and doesn’t seem like it’s ever been used for anything other than show. She wonders if anyone other than Bismuth has even touched it. The end tip by her face is small, telling her the blade is not weighty.

She looks up to see Bismuth standing there and holding it out to her. Connie takes the sword into her hand without thought as she has held one many times. As she guessed this one is lighter than her own. Connie’s sword is more like a Gladius though it’s almost as long as she was tall when she received it and is as wide as her face. It's a blunt sword and takes strength and momentum to properly swing but it also packs a lot of power. This sword starts wider at the tip and narrows as it gets to the hilt which reminds her more of a Falchion. Swords are by no means interchangeable but Connie is skilled enough she wouldn’t struggle to wield this one effectively. She can’t use it as efficiently as the one made for her but she can handle it.

Once this sword is in her hand she goes automatically into her stance at the ready for a fight. She swings the sword a few times. Muscle memory takes over in only moments and she’s going through the training formations and movements she practiced for months as a child. She's always loved how a sword feels in her hand. Strangely enough, it’s more comfortable than both the tennis racket she used to practice with and the violin bow she still does practice with. The blade cuts as well through the air as it did when the Gem swung it. However there is a grace to how Connie swings the sword that Bismuth doesn't lack but probably can't imitate. Every step and turn comes to her the way walking comes to most people. She has conditioned her body to know these motions it was never made for and it will never forget. Now everything about it feels as natural as breathing. 

"Well, you sure look like a knight to me," Bismuth says when Connie stops with the sword at her side to bow to an opponent that doesn't exist. She turns to the Gem. She’s embarrassed, about to suggest they get back to work when Bismuth steps forward. In an instant her hands become two large hammers that she slams together before dropping into a defensive stance. Her face is determined and focused but still friendly and eager as she says, "So how about you show me what you've got?"

"Don't we have work to do?"

"We're taking fifteen." Bismuth smirks, "Come on girl, you just said what a shame it was that these things never get used and here I am giving you the chance to use one. So, let's test out your mettle with my metal."

Still, Connie feels apprehensive. This isn't what she is here to do. Although the only _actual_ instruction she has been given is to listen to Bismuth. The gem who is now telling Connie to attack her. 

There is nothing to be lost by not doing it and nothing to be gained from doing it. She looks at the sword. It's not her sword but she wields it well. Grace and precision are practically strangers to her until a sword is in her hand. There is a strange pulse in her body from the familiar grip. Her hand wasn't built for a weapon, but she made one fit anyway. Pearl took her half-way and her own determination took her the other half.

"Don't worry," Bismuth says with a smirk as if reading her thoughts, "Nobody has to know."

Connie smirks back with one last experimental swing. "Alright, I guess a bit of sparring couldn't hurt."

"That's the spirit!" Bismuth pumps one hammer into the air then drops back into her stance with a grin. Her smile falls soon after though. Connie is charging before Bismuth is done celebrating and this gives her a short lived advantage. She goes for a swing under Bismuth's arm and the Gem leans back to avoid the hit with a "Whoa." Connie twists around, swings up a second time, forcing Bismuth to turn to avoid the sword again. Bismuth is not as quick as Connie. The young woman has always known her agility is her biggest advantage in any confrontation; she is light on her feet and flexible making up for the bulkiness of her sword. Connie sticks her leg out in hopes of tripping Bismuth as she steps away and ending this fight embarrassingly early for her, but of course she's not that lucky. Bismuth regains footing easily and one of her hammer hands slams down towards the smaller figure, forcing her to roll out of the way.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about!" Bismuth cries as Connie springs back up on her feet in very little time. "What's wrong, tiny? Thought I'd go down easy?"

"Easy? No way! But you're definitely going down," Connie says with a laugh then once more she charges Bismuth. She doesn't charge back at the same speed but she is ready to meet Connie part-way, switching from a defensive strategy to a slightly more offensive one. 

As they get closer, Connie shifts to the side and with a leap into the air and a step off the wall she is coming down at Bismuth from above. The gem looks slightly taken aback by this move before trapping Connie's blade in her hammer hands. This leaves Connie with her feet pressed to Bismuth's chest as she tries to dislodge her sword. There is a chuckle from Bismuth as she smirks up at the human girl.

"Uh-oh," Bismuth says as she spins and releases her hold, tossing Connie away, "Seems like somebody might be losing her edge!"

Connie isn't thrown hard and she knows how to fall to catch herself. She tucks in, turns in the air and manages to land on her feet, sword at the ready once again, "You wish!"

Connie doesn't wait for a response before she charges again. Adrenaline pounds through her in a way she hasn't felt in what must have been years. Yet her body remembers every move and every reflex like it was yesterday. It's strange the way her swings and flips and turns happen with such quick thought. She is making choices before realizing she has to make a choice at all. It's almost like she had forgotten she knew how to do this, she is so giddy every time she lands a hit and every time she avoids one of Bismuth's swings. She has no intention to hurt Bismuth and knows Bismuth also means her no harm. It’s a test of stamina and skill between companions who share a love of battle. 

For Bismuth the forge is restricting due to its size, for Connie it's a room full of opportunities. Places to duck under and hop around and launch herself off of. The Gem's laughter puts more of spring into Connie's step as she leaps around with obvious skill. She has mostly given up sword fighting except for the practice sessions she had spoken about. It brought up too many awful memories. Although trading blows with Bismuth as if they're old sparring buddies reminds her why she loves the sword. It reminds her of how it's a chess game inside her head and an endurance test for her body. She doesn't have to be a polite, dainty, scholarly young lady when she engages people in battle. She's free to be an aggressive, dangerous, crafty warrior. Yet through all this she remains respectable, she remains elegant, and most importantly, she remains Connie. 

Or perhaps in some way she _becomes_ Connie.

They have definitely passed the limits of a fifteen minute break at least once when she knocks Bismuth backwards and nearly topples her over some loose equipment. They have kept some distance from things of value but there is only so much space. Connie should consider this a win seeing as she hasn't had a real opponent in such a long time. The rush of danger and thrill that she used to almost be addicted to as a child claims her body however, and she runs at the Gem pursuing a final blow that aims to cement her victory. She jumps up and swings down with the intent of landing her sword just short of actually hitting her opponent. Either of out instinct or misjudgement Bismuth swings her large hand up one last time and-

-nothing.

The next thing Connie is fully aware of is sitting up against the wall near the door with a searing pain on the left side of her face as something cold is pressed against it. The pressure hurts but the coolness is soothing. The hand holding it to her face is massive. One of an equal size grabs her own hand to replace the hand on what she can now tell is an ice pack. After that she is the one holding it. She looks around the room and gets dizzy. She leans back against the wall with the encouragement of those huge hands again.

"Hey. Careful now," a voice says and after a moment she registers it as Bismuth. After she does, awareness comes over Connie again. They had been sparring and laughing and having a grand time until Bismuth swung too hard and knocked Connie senseless for a few minutes. She must have been so out of it she needed Bismuth to tend to her wound and disorientation. She has some memory of it so she isn't too worried about damage to her head. She should probably still get looked at by a doctor but she doesn't think it's too bad. She is going to have to come up with a good excuse to get her mother to bring her to the hospital.

"Are you doing okay?" Bismuth asks as she sits next to her against the wall. Connie nods gently, afraid of causing herself more pain, "Thank goodness! I’m sorry about that. It looks like I hit you a little too hard."

It takes Connie a second to answer. "It's okay. We were sparring. It happens."

"Well, don't you worry, it won't happen again." Bismuth laughs nervously, "I guess I forgot just how squishy you are. It's easy to forget that though. You're tougher than your average human. Naturally, of course. Us Crystal Gems are a hard group to crack!"

She smiles weakly at Bismuth. Partially held back from pain and partially from embarrassment. She shifts the ice pack on her face, it's helping but it's a strange contrast to the intense heat of the room. It's melting quickly and will be nothing but water soon. She fidgets for a long moment before she responds, "You don't have to do that you know."

"Do what?" Bismuth asks, seeming honestly confused by that statement. Connie sighs.

"Pretend I'm like you," she explains to her, "You don’t have to act like I'm a real Crystal Gem just because of Steven."

"What the heck are you talking about?" Bismuth asks with genuine shock in her voice, "Do you honestly think that’s the only thing that makes you a Crystal Gem?"

"Well, not the only thing…"

"Listen, Steven is a great guy and he's got good taste." She shakes her head as Connie blushes, "But he doesn't have anything to do with my opinion of you."

"But-"

"But nothing! How would me judging you based on Steven make me any better than those old Homeworld upper-crusts, huh? I don't judge anybody, human or gem, on where they came from or who they know. I care about who people _are_."

Connie appreciates her words but it doesn't change much about how she feels. "That still doesn't make me a Crystal Gem."

"Connie, do you know what it means to be a Crystal Gem? Because _nobody_ knows better than me." Her voice is serious with no hint of the levity she's had all day, "Being a Crystal Gem is about being who you want to be no matter what everyone tells you are supposed to be. It's about wanting freedom for yourself and the people you care about. It's being ready to fight for that freedom. It's knowing exactly what makes you who you are and what makes you different from _them_. It can be easy to forget, but that's what it's about."

Bismuth looks solemn for the first time since Connie ran into her that day but she quickly perks back up and puts a proud smile back on her face. "And just look at you! Look at who you are and everything you've done! You weren't made to be a warrior. Heck, you aren't even a gem. But you worked hard and you trained. You did what it was you wanted to do and you didn't let anybody stop you! You fought hard so other people could choose what they wanted to do too."

"I guess so." Connie feels the ice pack losing its shape. The pain has slowly started to dissipate though with the help of Bismuth's words.

"Crystal Gems aren't made like the rest. We're a cut all our own. We're weird. Some might even call us Off-Colors. But _choosing_ to be unique is what makes us who we are and, in all my time on Earth, I have never met another human like you."

Connie isn't quite sure how to respond. She's always just assumed that most of what makes her one of them in the eyes of the Crystal Gems was related to Steven and her relationship with him. Yet here is Bismuth, arguably the most Crystal Gem of all the Crystal Gems, telling Connie that she earned her place among them. Bismuth is telling her that she is one of them based on who she is and on what she had done. It’s touching, reassuring, uplifting, and kind. Her heart swells with joy as tears gather in her eyes, not from the pain but from a sense of gratitude. 

For the very first time she realizes that maybe she belongs here in her own individual way.

"Thank you, Bismuth, I-" Connie wipes away her tears, "Thank you so much."

Connie finds herself dropping the ice pack and throwing her arms around the Gem. Bismuth lets out a nervous but happy noise before putting her hand on Connie's back. "No problem. All I did was tell the truth. Just remember; you're more than Steven's girlfriend and nobody gets to define you but _you._ "

"Okay!" She nods as she sits back up. Bismuth scratches the back of her own head.

"Speaking of Steven, do you mind not telling him about…" Bismuth gestures to her own face in the same place Connie now has a forming bruise.

"Don’t worry, I won't," she says, picking up the rapidly melting ice pack to put back on her face, "Honestly, he’d most likely scold me too. As soon as he was done worrying."

"Yeah, that sounds like Steven." The joy is back in her voice.

"And I'll try to leave without Pearl seeing me," Connie continues on, "Since I bet she probably wouldn't be too happy about this either. It's better if we keep this between us. Besides Crystal Gems are supposed to have each other’s backs, right?”

“Right.” Bismuth elbows her gently with a smile, "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay we have addressed the Steven elephant in the room so we can focus on who really matters here: Connie!
> 
> Feedback always Welcome!
> 
> Also if you feel like it check out this cool SU fanfic discord I'm part of:
> 
> https://discord.gg/FJHvuGs


	3. Hour 006: Welcome to Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie learns something from Little Homeschool's three best T.A.s but ends her day with more questions than answers.

"Are you sure you're okay? That looks really bad…" Daniel asks of Connie's bruised face Monday at school.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it looks worse than it feels," Connie reassures her friend as they walk through the halls of their school together. She managed to hide the bruise from Steven by calling him without video but Pearl and her parents had seen it. The conversation between Pearl and her father lasted almost a full fifteen minutes when he picked her up. They did not leave until he was sure Connie would no longer be assigned to the forge. She is more disappointed by that than she expects to be. Despite the pain and intense heat, her day with Bismuth had been fun and rewarding. She wishes she could do all her hours in the company of the big, grey gem. However she knows it’s better for her to work in a few different areas for the most well-rounded (and resume boosting) experience.

"Did you talk to the senior guidance counselor about this?" he asks as they head into the cafeteria for lunch break. They have both packed their own so they find a table while they wait for Patricia to get her lunch as well.

"No. Why would I?" Connie asks as they take out their food.

"Because! You got hurt! On your first day!" He shakes his head. "You can't keep working there if it's going to be dangerous!"

"It's not dangerous," Connie laughs then points to her face, "This is nothing! I got worse bruises than this all the time while I trained as a kid!"

"Yeah, and now you can take a hit from a hammer to the face," Patricia says joining them, "I cannot believe you never told us you know how to use a sword!"

Connie shrugs. "It never came up…"

"Connie, that's not the kind of thing you wait for an opening in the conversation to bring up,” Patricia responds as she plops her tray onto the table and sits down on Connie’s other side, “That's the kind of thing you tell everyone you meet because it makes you sound like a badass."

Daniel looks worried, ignoring Patricia as he pushes, "You shouldn't be working somewhere you could get hurt."

Connie rolls her eyes at that. "You can get hurt walking down the street. I'm fine."

Still he persists, "Can't you at least see if they will let you do a reduced amount of hours? So you don't have to spend as much time there and lower the risk?"

"I already asked Mr. Chavez about reducing my hours and he said I couldn't do that," Connie explains. 

That isn't entirely true. The senior guidance counselor had actually told her due to the circumstances she could work only half the hours needed and still graduate as long as she understood it meant she would no longer be eligible for valedictorian or even salutatorian. Since she has to do the hours for her diploma anyway she figures she might as well try to get them all in before May and be in the running for the title. Graduating as class valedictorian is important to her. She won't be mad if Patricia, who is currently her biggest competition for the title, gets it instead, but that doesn't mean she wants it any less.

Connie realizes a moment later that Daniel is giving her a strange look.

"What?" she asks, touching her hand to her face as if there might be something on it and accidentally grazing her wound. Her friend shakes his head.

"Nothing…" he says, "It's nothing."

Patricia snickers, "Maybe he's just upset you get to spend your volunteer hours doing cool stuff and he's stuck picking up trash on the side of the road every Saturday for another month."

"Ugh, why did you have to remind me?" Daniel moans, "Not all of us are lucky enough to tutor little kids everyday after school!”

After that Connie’s friends fall into their usual teasing and playful bickering. She can’t focus on what they are saying though. The look that was in Daniel’s eyes bothers her. She wants to write it off as Patricia didn’t comment on anything, but she trusts her friends. Patricia is a lot more laid-back than Daniel which might be the only reason she didn’t notice… whatever had put Daniel off. She picks at her meal the rest of the period, trying to force herself to eat for the energy she will need for the rest of the day. The conversation has got her wondering what the coming days at Little Homeschool will be like.

* * *

Connie is frustrated Lion has been missing in action since she started volunteering. Her father is the one who drops her off her second day and while he isn't as overbearing as her mother, he is still too fearful in her mind. Doug gives her the same speech Priyanka did, even offering to take her along with him on his job. Although even if she was interested, she has her doubts that beach security is considered community service. She tries to pay attention to him but she is just as anxious to get to work as she was the other day. She has ninety-five hours left to complete and she is only scheduled to work three hours on the weekdays.

She wishes she could use the warp at the center of town, but that is impossible to do without being a gem. Her dad gave her plenty of time so she doesn't have to rush, but she finds herself doing so anyway. Pearl is who she has to report to and who needs to sign off on all her work, so she can’t start until after she talks to the skinny Gem. In some strange way, Pearl is once again her mentor. Connie has some confusing feelings about that fact, which she chooses to ignore.

She reaches the center of Little Homeschool and is greeted by the sight of not one but four familiar Pearls, including Crystal Gem Pearl. She also knows Steven nicknamed one of the three additional Pearls ‘Volleyball,’ and while Connie finds it to be ridiculous and nonsensical, the name has stuck. She isn't sure what the other two prefer to be called, but she tends to think of them as Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl respectively. The strangest thing about the whole scene is that Volleyball is wearing some type of pirate costume complete with a bandanna, a prop sword and an eye-patch over her left eye. There seems to be a disagreement occurring between Pearl and Yellow Pearl as Connie approaches. The other two just stand silently, observing their almost identical companions.

"I understand that you were his T.A. last semester, but to be completely honest Jamie is terrified of you and he's the only one willing to teach the class."

"Terrified?! Of me?! Why, that's just ridiculous! I am excellent at my job," Yellow Pearl replies, looking insulted with her nose in the air and arms crossed in a huff. Connie sees Pearl giving Yellow Pearl an annoyed look with half-lidded eyes. This is clearly not the first time she's had to deal with the other Pearl's ego. She simply rolls her eyes then spots Connie as she joins them. 

The pale Gem steps forward to meet her as she does most times Connie arrives. That smile is on her face again. The one from the other day. Pearl must be doing good in her life if she is always smiling so much.

"Hi, Connie,” she says brightly, “Welcome back."

"Hi, Pearl!" she greets then turns to the other three, "And hi to you too, other Pearls."

"Hello," Yellow Pearl says, still clearly in a mood over whatever was being discussed.

"Hello," Blue Pearl also says in a quiet tone Connie can hear but it still feels like a whisper.

"Hello!" Volleyball says with a soft smile as she waves at Connie. She's the only one who does.

"So what's the plan for today?" she asks Pearl. She expects the other three to be on their way, but they stay near listening to the conversation and waiting.

"Well," Pearl says, "I figured your talents would be of most use to us as a T.A. which means you’ll probably be assigned to whatever class needs you most that day. We have a few T.A.s but our hardest working and most experienced ones are these three here."

Pearl gestures at her three almost doppelgangers, "So I thought the best way for you to learn would be to shadow each for an hour this afternoon to see how they assist in the classroom, and what would be expected from you in your job."

"Oh," Connie says, looking over each of them in turn. 

She guesses that there is probably some type of drama class, which is why Volleyball is dressed like a pirate. Rather, Connie hopes that's the reason. Yellow and Blue Pearl don’t look dressed for any particular occasion, so she has no guess which classes they are assisting with today. There is a box by Blue Pearl’s feet though. She hopes that neither is supposed to help Lapis or Peridot. She’s pretty content to work with almost any Gem but them. She has no desire to work with Jasper either. However to be completely honest, Connie isn’t even sure what Jasper _does_ at Little Homeworld (if anything). She has yet to even see the gem.

Once more eager to get started on chipping away at her volunteer hours, Connie approaches the three Pearls with a smile. “That sounds great! I’m excited to see how you guys help teach. I’m sure I’ll learn a lot! So who am I going with first?”

“I’m supposed to join Ruby and the scouts in a few minutes,” Blue Pearl says. Again, Connie is shocked she doesn’t have to strain her ears to hear her. “Perhaps it’s best if you come with me.”

“She makes a good point,” Pearl says with a hand on Connie’s shoulder. “Alright, she’ll go along with you first. Jamie and Volleyball need time to set up for their rehearsal anyway, which means you should meet up with those two last. You’ll be with our other T.A. in-between. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Connie answers with a salute.

“And this time please stick to your actual duties,” Pearl warns her with more of a smile than Connie expects. She nods then turns her attention to Blue Pearl.

“Follow me,” the quiet gem says as she picks up the box and gracefully walks away without waiting to see if Connie is following. She does follow, a little bit bummed that she has to spend the first part of her afternoon outside in the cold. Blue Pearl is clearly walking towards the woods as well and Connie can’t imagine what Ruby and her scouts are doing out there this time of year. Though the cold doesn’t affect gems so it probably seems perfectly logical to them to hold a scout meeting outside in the winter. Blue Pearl doesn’t tell her anything as they walk. 

It’s about fifteen minutes before they reach a group consisting of Ruby, six other various gems and two young human boys at the edge of the woods. Ruby is in the middle of an explanation as they approach.

“So you see, beauty can be found anywhere you look in any season,” she says as she stands on a log speaking to the group, authoritative as always. Ruby smiles, seeing them approach, “Oh perfect, my T.A. is here! Everyone go get your camera then join me again!”

The scouts walk over to Blue Pearl and Connie now sees the box is full of disposable cameras. There is just enough for each of them. Blue Pearl sets the now empty box down while they all gather around Ruby again. Blue Pearl makes her way over to the log and Connie follows. Ruby waves at Connie as the gems examine the new cameras. The two human boys know exactly what they are. Ruby turns back to her class and clears her throat, “Alright scouts, now that my assistants are here, we can start our hike and if you need help, ask! At the end of the hike you will all earn your Outdoor Photography badge.”

Ruby holds up a large circular patch with a camera and flash on it. She hops off her log and heads into the woods. Connie wonders if Ruby or Blue Pearl even know how to use a camera. Either way she follows after the group. She shivers as the wind blows but tries to focus on the task at hand. She is unsure how the other two humans are handling this, even bundled up. As they walk, Ruby points out things she thinks look nice to encourage her scouts to take pictures. 

The first leg of the trip is difficult as none of the gems really understand how a camera works. More than one takes a picture of her own face by mistake and either Connie, Ruby or Blue Pearl has to show them the correct way. (The two boys are no help.) Eventually though, they get the hang of it.

During the second leg of the hike, Connie notices a gem that she believes might be a Carnelian looking around solemnly. She is standing away from the rest as the group takes a photo of an icy cave. Connie starts to approach the Carnelian however Blue Pearl gets to the gem first. Connie still stands nearby as she is supposed to be following the blue gem to understand her role as a T.A. better. The Carnelian is frowning but Blue Pearl says nothing to her, standing and waiting. Connie is about to cut in out of impatience and a desire to help when the other gem speaks.

“I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be taking pictures of,” she confesses, “It all looks the same to me.”

“Well, what do you like to look at?” Blue Pearl asks simply. It’s hard to tell if she is even looking at the other gem. Her head is turned in that direction but her eyes, as always, remain covered.

The Carnelian thinks for a moment before she turns around to point at the group behind them, “I like to look at other people when they’re having fun.”

Both Connie and Blue Pearl look that way as well. Without missing a beat, Blue Pearl responds, “Then take pictures of them, if that’s what you like.”

The orange gem looks taken aback. “That’s not what that Ruby said to do.”

“But that’s what you want to do. So do it.”

“I can do that?”

“Yes,” Blue Pearl replies before turning on her heels and walking away, “Welcome to Earth.”

The rest of the hike is uneventful but Connie does notice that the Carnelian is smiling much wider as she tells the other gems to smile for pictures or takes candid shots of them laughing and enjoying each other’s company. She even takes a few shots of a proud Ruby. Clearly she loves what she is doing. Blue Pearl had said so little to her and yet it had made her world brand new. Connie wonders if there was something in the tone or the resonance. She doesn’t have time to think about it before Ruby calls her over.

“Good to see you again, Connie,” Ruby says as Blue Pearl collects the cameras, “I hear you’re supposed to be following some of our T.A.s around for the day. That’s great! I hope you get the chance to help out with the scouts again, the gems love when humans come along.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun, Ruby,” she answers, “Hopefully when it’s warmer out though!”

“I think you should head to the tower now,” Blue Pearl says suddenly, “Amethyst’s class is about to start and you have another T.A. to shadow.”

“Alright, thanks,” Connie says, happy she is getting out of the cold. With a nod and wave to both Ruby and Blue Pearl, Connie is off to her next class. She is getting quite good at making her way to the tower in the center of the town. The paths are straight forward for the most part. There are only a few tricky spots.

Connie circles the tower when she gets there, looking for a way in. There are a few entrances so she finds one quickly. It’s not a short walk up but Connie can manage it. The steps are large and she has to stretch her legs to climb them. She wonders how the smaller gems make their way through this building. This is probably why they have a space all their own fit to their size. Finally, at the end of her trek through the building, Connie sees Yellow Pearl outside a classroom. 

Connie starts to jog over but pauses when she sees a green agate not far from the yellow gem. Once again Yellow Pearl has that agitated look on her face and Connie wonders what has gotten to her this time. As she gets closer, she notices there is also a Ruby behind Yellow Pearl who looks close to tears. Connie has clearly walked in on a scene of some kind or another.

“What kind of Ruby cries like that from one little punch?” the agate argues, rolling her eyes as if whatever happened wasn’t an issue at all.

“The kind who didn’t wish to be punched in the first place,” Yellow Pearl snaps back.

“If she didn’t want to get punched then she shouldn’t have been walking ahead of gems who outrank her!” The agate continues to argue, “She’s _lucky_ I didn’t aim for her gem.”

“ _You’re_ lucky you didn’t aim for her gem,” Yellow Pearl corrects, “We here at Little Homeschool don’t tolerate fighting among gems or talk of rank for that matter. We’re all equal and we’re all learning.”

The green agate rolls her eyes, “This place is run upside down. With lesser gems at the top expecting me to take orders. Why should I listen to you?”

“Because she works here and you don’t,” Connie cuts in, annoyed with how this gem is talking about other gems.

“Great! Who are you?” the agate says in total disbelief, “First a Ruby, then a Pearl and now this? What kind of place are you gems running here?”

“I’m Connie and I’m guessing you’re new to the whole school thing,” she replies, “Well, here's lesson one: Bullies aren’t welcome.”

Of course as Connie knows the realities of the social hierarchy in the American school system are much more complicated. In addition national anti-bullying campaigns pushed in schools are usually severely lacking in methods to address the underlying causes of social outcasting. It’s one of a few broken systems within the realm of youth education in need of reform.

However this gem doesn’t need to know all of that! She just needs to know that her attitude will not be welcome here if she plans to stay. She and the gem are staring each other down while Yellow Pearl stands by the Ruby, who is clearly still upset. Connie isn’t afraid. She will take this rude gem outside and teach her another lesson if she has to. The hard way this time. Their eye contact is broken when Yellow Pearl clears her throat and they both turn her way.

“It seems a mistake has been made in the scheduling,” she says, looking up from her clipboard, “There’s only room in this class for one more student. Since Ruby here registered first, she will take the open spot in this class. You can come back in an hour and we’ll see if we can get you into one of the open spots in the next class.”

“What? No way!” the green gem says, “I want to take this class with the Amethyst! The next class is with that other Pearl!”

Yellow Pearl shrugs, “There isn’t room for both of you in the class and she got here first.”

“She cut in front of me and that means she gets a spot in the class and I don’t?!” the gem says with venom in her tone.

“That is correct.”

“How is that fair?”

“It’s not,” Yellow Pearl motions for Connie to follow her and the Ruby into the classroom, “Welcome to Earth.”

Connie looks back at the angry agate as she stomps away. She tries to hide her smirk. It might be petty and it's definitely personal but Connie likes when blatant harassment like that isn't tolerated. Suddenly, she sees another gem rush pass the agate down the steps. While she doesn't get a good look at her this time is _sure_ she sees pink hair. She pauses in following Yellow Pearl. She can't see the gem anymore but knows which way she went. Connie is much more positive she saw what she thinks she saw this time around. She debates pursuing her curiosity.

Connie has to have her priorities straight though, she is here for a reason. She doesn't have time to chase mysteries. So she makes her way into the classroom. Amethyst sees her enter and shoots her a wink with a peace sign. She waves back as she and Yellow Pearl make their way to the front of the class. 

“Alright, gems,” Amethyst says after clearing her throat, “Welcome to ‘What is Fun? 101.’ I’ll be your teacher and these two are here to help me.”

Connie soon learns this class is about what leisure time and hobbies are. She can see how Pearl probably teaches a class about the benefits of enjoying yourself differently than the way Amethyst teaches it. At one point the purple gem asks Yellow Pearl and Connie to each talk about some of their hobbies. This means that the proud yellow gem gets to show off some of her modeling skills and talk about how she often poses for Blue Pearl to draw her. Connie explains to the class what books are and how much she likes to read. She notices the Ruby from earlier is absorbed in the class like it's the most fascinating thing she's ever heard. She is enraptured right up until Amethyst tells them instead of going to another class that they should spend the next hour figuring out what they like to do and sends them off.

"The theater class is in the building across the center of town," Yellow Pearl says as students wander off trying to figure out what they should do next. With a smirk on her face she adds, "Be sure to tell Jamie 'hi' from me."

"Right, I will," Connie says as she makes her way out of the classroom and back down the long, stone staircase. She keeps her eyes out but she doesn’t see anything suspicious as she exists.

Connie can't say she feels out of her depth at all. The T.A.s here seem to do the same tasks as T.A.s at her school, that being pretty much anything needed by the instructor at the moment. She feels confident she can handle her duties from here on out, but she has been instructed to shadow all three of the T.A.s and so that’s what she will do. Her second day has been much easier compared to her first day.

Connie assumes that by ‘across the center of town,’ Yellow Pearl was being literal. She walks towards a short, blue building not far away from Bismuth's forge. As she opens the door she can hear a familiar voice in a familiar tone she can never think to describe as anything other than just a little too much.

The large room Connie enters was empty when she saw it during the tour, but now it looks like a stage being assembled on one end by, who else but Bismuth. Connie has an urge to run over and greet her. Her first five hours of work spent with the Gem had made Connie fond of her and she thinks it's a mutual feeling. 

Especially when Bismuth raises her hand and calls, "Connie! Looking good!"

Connie waves back as Volleyball comes to the door to meet her with a bright smile, still in her costume. Behind the pink gem, Connie sees Jamie, the first human instructor she has seen. 

Jamie is gesturing wildly, throwing his body around while speaking with passion. "I know in the tedious lives outside the spotlight you all once lived, the art of acting was yet unknown to most of you. Performance relegated only to those deemed appropriate! Oh, but fret not my aspiring thespians, no more are you chained to the conventions of your previous roles, now like birds released from your cages you are free to…"

Connie tunes Jamie out as Volleyball takes her hand in greeting, "Hello again.”

“Oh, hi!”

"It’s so nice of you to join us,” she giggles, “I love theater class. Jamie says I’m a natural on the stage too.”

“That’s really nice, Volleyball. I’m happy to hear it.”

“Come this way,” the pink gem says as she pulls Connie deeper into the room.

Volleyball leads Connie into the room and they stand on the outside of the semi-circle around Jamie who has the full attention of the class. It's hard not to look at Jamie when he flails around. Honestly, Connie can't help but think teaching here is probably the best thing for him. He looks pretty happy. It's interesting to see another human comfortable around gems. Most of Beach City is accepting of gems, in part out of necessity. Even some of them have reservations though. She can only imagine it's worse further out from Little Homeschool. It's nice to see Jamie talk to gems like he would anyone else, with big fancy words and far too many theatrics.

"Now..." Jamie finishes his speech and points to Volleyball. She quickly rushes over to something covered by a sheet behind him. She yanks it away, revealing a couple of large, overflowing boxes filled with costumes and stage props, "Go! Explore! Find what speaks to you."

As the gems slowly get to their feet and wander to the boxes, Jamie spots Connie and walks over, "Oh, Connie, hello. Good to see you. Are you too here to indulge in your love of the stage?"

"Hi, Jamie. And no, I'm working here for the rest of the semester. I'm going to be a T.A. so you might see me in your class again."

"Oh that would be fantastic! It would be nice to have another human here, if only because these gems don't always understand—" Jamie cuts himself off, "—Wait, I appreciate your imagination but that's not what that is used for!"

As Jamie rushes past Connie, she turns to watch him run over to some quartz gems who are using what look to be awards of some kind as hammers to hit other things. He manages to get them to stop and explain what the items actually are so Connie’s eyes wander over to an Amber standing with Volleyball. She makes her way over to them, hoping that Jamie has his situation under control. Volleyball has small balls in her hands that she is showing to the gem.

“You see you toss this one up like this,” —Volleyball tosses a ball into the air then soon after that she tosses up a second one,— “Then you toss another. And finally the last one. You just have to make sure that one of the balls is always in the air!”

The Amber looks at her own balls with a raised eyebrow, “And what are you doing?”

“It’s called juggling,” Volleyball answers, still tossing the balls above her head.

“What is its purpose?” the other gem asks. Connie answers this time.

“People find it entertaining. It’s like a mini-show to impress your friends.” She picks up the last three balls on the floor and tries tossing them up. They stay up for only a moment as she stumbles immediately. She has never been good at juggling. She picks the balls up and tries to juggle them again as the gem looks from her to Volleyball, as if studying them. Eventually she points to Connie.

“Why are you doing it?” she asks, then points to Volleyball, “She was clearly made to do it and you weren’t.” 

This fuels Connie’s desire to juggle the balls for at least a few moments before dropping them. “Just because I don’t know how to juggle yet doesn’t mean I can’t try it.”

“Oh, yes. That’s right!” Volleyball agrees as she lets the balls come down and she grabs each one with ease. “Humans aren’t made to do anything. They have to learn everything they do.”

“Learn?” the gem asks, then looks at Connie again, “So someday you will be able to do it?”

“Maybe,” she answers, “If I keep trying it I could learn.”

The Amber looks down at her own balls, still in one arm, “Could I learn to do it?”

“Oh course you can,” Volleyball says as she places her balls back in the box, “You can learn anything you want to! That’s why we’re all here! Welcome to Earth!”

A smile forms on the face of the Amber. Connie makes note that this is the third time she has heard that phrase but she doesn’t comment. The rest of the hour is filled by Volleyball and Connie trying to help the gem learn to juggle. Connie isn’t too much help in that department as she is not skilled at the activity herself, but she does know how to support other people. The Amber appears happy for her encouragement too. Both she and Connie are much better by the end of the class. She notices Bismuth give her a thumbs up as she heads out right before class ends. As the students leave, Connie helps Volleyball and Jamie clean up before she has to meet Pearl so she can sign off on her hours.

As they are packing things away, Connie decides to ask about the seemingly ubiquitous phrase. It must have a meaning of some kind, “Volleyball, why do you say “Welcome to Earth” so much here?”

“What do you mean?” the pink gem asks as she begins to finally remove her costume.

“I’ve heard all three of you use it like it’s important,” Connie explains, “Does it mean something other than just, you know, welcome to Earth?”

Volleyball pauses in removing her eye-patch to ponder the question, “Hmm. I suppose there is no place gems have ever been that’s anything like Earth. It can be difficult to explain why things are so different here. It’s an easy way to say that and let gems know they can have a home on this planet as long as they want to have one. This place isn’t like the places they’re used to and if they want to be here then they’re just going to have to understand that.”

Connie doesn’t get a chance to ask any follow-up questions as her phone alarm goes off then. She has to meet her dad soon which means she has to talk to Pearl. “Thanks, Volleyball, I have to go now. Bye, Jamie!”

She doesn’t wait for either to return the goodbye before she is rushing out of the building back into the cold. As she makes her way through the center of town to find Pearl, Connie's mind wanders back to her day with the other Pearls. She couldn't help but notice how personable and social each of them was. She's not sure why that surprises her. Nothing she knows about the three would make her assume they're cold or dismissive gems by nature. She's just shocked at how well they seem to handle themselves in the classroom and with students. Not because they're Pearls, but because they're T.A.s.

Connie catches sight of Pearl as she is leaving one of the buildings with Sapphire and waves to get her attention. The pale Gem waves as Sapphire goes to meet Ruby, who is making her way into the center of town. Connie and Pearl meet as Garnet appears nearby. Pearl places one of her hands onto Connie’s shoulder, “Connie, how did your day with the T.A.s go?”

“It went well,” she says, taking her papers out of her bag to hand to Pearl. She makes a determined face, “I think I’m ready to be put to work in the classroom next time.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Pearl says, taking the papers to sign off on Connie’s hours, “We really could use the help.”

Behind Pearl, Connie sees Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl walking together. Blue Pearl is giggling into her hand at whatever Yellow Pearl is saying with a sly smile. Connie realizes other than when she was shadowing them, she’s never seen the two gems apart. She knows they were in near constant company while working under the Diamonds. She supposes once someone gets used to another person's company it’s hard to be away from them. The two gems experienced the fall of the Diamond authority together. They witnessed the world around them change side by side and have stuck together through it. It makes sense they still cling to each other even in this new free life of choice. When people go through life changing experiences together it tends to bond them in a special way. Her face goes warm from affection at the thought. It’s a feeling Connie understands on an intimate level.

Pearl calls Connie’s attention again by handing her papers back. She takes them to put in her bag and her eyes wander back to where she last saw the other two Pearls walking. They have disappeared. Even though they are out of sight, she is confident they are still in the other’s company wherever they are.

“Pearl, why aren’t any of the other Pearls teachers?” Connie asks. There doesn’t seem to be an educational requirement to teach at Little Homeschool. They would probably let Connie teach a class if she asked to. All three of the Pearls clearly know what they are doing as well. She can’t understand why they wouldn’t be teaching their own classes.

“They don’t want to,” Pearl answers with a shrug, “We’ve asked and they all said they’re fine where they are.”

“But why?” Connie asks as the two subconsciously start to walk towards the exit, in the opposite direction of the other two Pearls. She doesn’t need Pearl to walk her out but the Gem joins her anyway. “Isn’t that what they did on Homeworld? Follow their Diamonds around and take orders all the time? Heck, Volleyball was under mind control for thousands of years! Why wouldn’t they want to be the ones in charge for once?”

Pearl looks thoughtful, almost sad and Connie realizes given the Gem’s history that may have been an insensitive question. After all, Pearl once served a Diamond. Then, after she gained freedom, she continued to follow Pink while she lived as Rose (even at the risk of her own happiness and safety). Connie can forget her curious nature sometimes offends. She bites her tongue as Pearl contemplates her question. Perhaps she is stalling so she doesn’t have to answer.

“I suppose it’s no different than you wanting to go to college,” is what Pearl finally settles on as an answer.

“How so?” Connie asks, not seeing the connection between the two.

“When you were a child, all you wanted to do was learn to sword fight and go on Gem missions with us while your parents wanted you to stay home and study so you could go to a good school and get a good job.”

Connie groans. “Yeah I hated that. They never let me do what I wanted to do! I’m really lucky they learned to mellow out a little.”

“Exactly,” Pearl replies as the gate to Little Homeworld comes into sight, “But now you want to go to college and get a good job. You’re working here and putting in effort but it isn’t the same as when your parents wanted you to do it.”

“No, I’m doing it for me!”

“Well, that’s the difference.” Pearl stops just before the gate and they wait for Connie’s father, “Pearls were originally made to help whoever they were assigned to help. The other Pearls here like to do what they were made to do. Who are any of us to judge what makes them happy?”

Connie feels like she understood the sentiment until Pearl asks that last question. She agrees that no one has a right to judge the other Pearls if they’re doing what they are because they want to. It’s a choice and no longer an obligation. It’s a small change with a significant meaning. But how do any of them _know_ the Pearls are happy? How do _the Pearls_ even know that they’re happy? How do they know they haven’t just learned to accept their forced circumstances and that it’s truly their choice?

Pearl smiles and, as if she can read Connie’s mind, says, “At some point you have to trust that people can make decisions for themselves.”

“I guess you’re right,” Connie says and they fall into a comfortable silence again. 

Her father pulls up about five minutes later. With a wave, Connie makes her way to his car. He looks more than a little relieved she isn’t leaving with more bruises on her face. Pearl waves back, watching her go, but Connie sees a strange sadness in her stance. It reminds her of the look Daniel gave her at lunch a few days ago. Connie doesn’t want to give that thought too much space in her head. She still has homework to focus on completing, especially if she is going to get in her nightly call with Steven before bed.

* * *

The next day of volunteering, Connie ends up back in the theater with Jamie and Bismuth for the afternoon since Volleyball’s help is needed somewhere else. She doesn’t know where or why it has to be the pink gem specifically, but Connie doesn’t mind as she alternates helping Bismuth continue to set up the stage and helping Jamie manage his students. During the last class, Connie and that same Amber from the other day spend the hour practicing their juggling together again. The Amber is catching on quickly, faster than Connie is anyway. She notices as they do that a Peridot with a less harsh triangular head than the one she knows personally is watching them. When the class lets out she decides to follow the green gem and talk to her, unsure why she feels the need.

“Hey,” Connie says as she catches up and walks side by side with the gem, “I didn’t see you in the theater class yesterday. Did you have fun?”

“Fun?” the Peridot asks with a raised eyebrow, “What does that mean?”

Connie sighs, understanding why the class on fun is necessary, “Did you like being in the class? You didn’t touch any of the props.”

“Was I supposed to?” she asks, seeming confused. She looks very different from the Peridot Connie knows, if only because her expressions are still sharp and critical. “I didn’t see any items in there that were designed for the use of my gem type. And if there were, I was not instructed on which ones.”

Connie laughs, “You don’t need to wait for someone to tell you what you're allowed to touch. There isn’t any stuff here that is "for Peridots." Everything is for everyone! You’re allowed to just try stuff out.”

“I am?” the gem’s eyes are wide, almost in a panic as she tries to take in all that information, “But that’s completely unprecedented! How can that even be? There is no direction, no orders, no limitations! What kind of place is this?”

“No, no,” Connie tries to clarify, “You can’t just do—”

“What am I to do without a directive? Who am I to report to? How does anything get done in thi—”

Connie grabs the gem by her shoulders to stop her from collapsing in her anxiety as she says, “Listen. The person you report to here is you. You get to decide that.”

“But… but I don’t know how to do that?”

“Don’t worry. You’ll learn.” Connie gives the Peridot a gentle, supportive pat on the back, then she notices Pearl and realizes she needs to get going. With a kind, reassuring smile she adds, “Welcome to Earth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback always Welcome!
> 
> Also if you feel like it check out this cool SU fanfic discord I'm part of:
> 
> https://discord.gg/FJHvuGs


	4. Hour 012: Lady of the Locket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie has never been a big fan of mirrors which is not at all related to spending her day with Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Peridot! I have nothing else to say.

Today is the first time she finds Pearl alone at the center of the town. Not completely alone as there is no place in Little Homeschool not buzzing with activity, rather she is not engaged in conversation with anyone. She is closing the side of a large wagon next to her though, so she is clearly in the middle of some kind of work. Once again she is delighted when she spots Connie around the side of the wagon and Connie feels like if Pearl could wave then she would. Connie walks over as quickly as she can even though Pearl is easily managing on her own.

"Hello, Connie," Pearl says, “Just as punctual as ever.”

"Hi, Pearl, do you need any help?" she asks. Connie points to the wagon next to her.

"Yes," she answers as she shifts her hands to one side of the handle and indicates that Connie should grab the other side, "I would appreciate help, especially as I'm bringing these supplies to your assigned class for the day."

Together they start making their way from the center of the town. Pearl is walking as if in a hurry, so Connie makes herself match the Gem’s speed. She’s impressed by how fast Pearl can walk while pulling the heavy wagon along behind her so Connie tries not to mess it up by lagging behind her. They both have to use two hands and it’s not a quick trip, but they are getting there, slowly but surely. While Connie hopes it is not the case the path they take is familiar and once they are passed the dormitories she can tell exactly where Pearl is taking her. She can already see the collection of greenhouses from where they are and Pearl is leading the wagon straight towards them. Although Pearl leads Connie past the buildings to the farmland expanding out behind them, she still knows exactly who she will be assisting and it still causes a rock to drop into her stomach.

Peridot looks as if she is between classes when the two reach the end of the large field. She is focused on the empty soil in front of her and doesn't notice them at first. The winter season has recently ended and spring has begun. It makes sense that Peridot is currently digging around in the dirt as she prepares for the season ahead. Pearl steps into her view, releasing the handle and Connie lets go too. It is only then that the small green Gem gives them her full attention and makes her way over, brushing dirt from her hands.

"Pearl, Connie, it’s great to see you," she says in an approachable, friendly tone. She has been nothing but friendly every time Connie has seen her so she isn't quite sure why she feels so put off by Peridot. They have something of a rough history, but not to the point where Connie should be this nervous in her presence. For the most part the two have gotten along, or at the very least they have tolerated one another.

Peridot looks past them into the wagon and a wide smile comes to her face. She does a jumpy, excited dance when she sees what is inside. “Oh my stars, they’re here!”

With a vaguely scheming but still jovial type of laugh she opens the back of the wagon to pull out the first of what Connie can see are many young trees in bags, ready to be transplanted into the ground. Peridot is almost hugging the plant to her chest. She is still doing her hopping, excited dance. There is something charming about her wonderment as she titters.

"Yes, it took some work but I was able to get what you asked for." Pearl nods as she says this then turns to Connie. "Most of what we grow here in Little Homeschool is purely decorative. After all, we have no use for food. However-"

"That's about to change!" Peridot interrupts as she is taking the trees out one by one to bring out to the field, "Finally we have secured the necessary materials and formed connections to the proper business professionals to start selling more of our products!"

"Yes, it is a shame a great deal of what Peridot has grown on our farm land has gone to waste. The only people who have been willing to buy food from us in the past have been the people of Beach City.” Pearl leans in with the back of her hand curving around her mouth as she whispers to Connie, “I don’t want to blame anyone for their over exuberance when dealing with human business associates but it certainly didn’t help our case.”

Connie gets the feeling she means Peridot. It is fair to say. Peridot is a great talker with a good head on her shoulders, however her know-it-all nature and desire to control things can be a little much at times. She isn’t unwilling to listen to others but someone has to make a strong case to change Peridot’s mind when she knows she is right. Which is also fair because most of the time Peridot knows what she is talking about.

Peridot is almost halfway through bringing out her trees with a giggle in her voice as she says, "Now that other townships have agreed to start doing business with us, I can finally start growing fruit trees!"

Connie has to admit Peridot's obvious excitement over something so simple is adorable in its own way and admirable too. She knows that vegetables are aplenty but she didn't know that they were lacking ways to grow fruit. Before Pearl says anything, Connie has a guess at what her duties for that day are going to entail.

"Peridot, Connie is going to be your T.A. for the day," Pearl explains to Peridot, who still has most of her attention on her trees while Pearl explains the situation to the two of them, "Your class will be more spread out today than usual so I figured you could use the help."

If possible, Peridot’s smile grows even wider, “Well, then, I’m happy to have your assistance, Connie. Combining your human experience with my vast knowledge will be beneficial with this particular lesson. Gems are usually confused on what plant life even is and often struggle with the concept of food."

Peridot has a hold of Connie’s arm before she knows it’s even happening and guides her into the wagon. She passes one of the trees to Connie then picks one up for herself as she adds, “And it’s always nice to see you.”

"It's settled then. You will be working with Peridot over the next few days.” Pearl says, then adds with a smirk, “Good luck.”

"Yes, ma'am!" Connie says. Then Pearl leaves her with Peridot, who is excitedly encouraging her to grab more of the trees to bring over to the field, showing them off as if she hasn’t seen them yet.

"This day is the best," Peridot says, as they carry the last of the trees out of the wagon. 

“Isn’t it a little early to plant trees?” Connie asks as Peridot is looking over the many plants now in front of them. She bites her tongue, wishing she hadn't said anything. She is just asking Peridot to start talking down to her about how stupid she is being. However, the Gem explains her reasoning in an even voice still brimming with glee.

“It _can_ be too early in the season depending on the soil. It might still be too hard from the cold. Lapis and I have been working over the last week tilling the land though, so it should be ready. The weather is warm enough that they should survive. The earlier we get these trees planted the better off we are.” As Connie expected, it’s well argued and informative. The Gem’s voice somehow becomes more excited as she adds, "Now, let's get started!"

Connie smiles to herself as the next class of gems approaches them. Peridot's enthusiasm is infectious. It's hard to be sad surrounded by the Gem’s jovial energy. Once again, Connie is not sure what made her wary of Peridot to begin with. She wants the feeling to go away but, for a reason she can’t pinpoint, it lingers. Why does Peridot scare her so much? She has no reason to be this nervous. The next few days working with the small Gem look as if they will go smoothly. 

So why can’t Connie relax?

The first thing Connie learns while working alongside Peridot is how much she knows about what she is doing. In only a few short years on Earth she has become an expert in horticulture. While Connie isn't adept in the field herself, she's gardened with her dad since she was child, and can tell from the way Peridot speaks that she has put real effort into mastering this craft. From what she knows about the old ways of gem society, Peridots used to help "plant" and "grow" gems, which might be part of why she is so good at this. It does occur to Connie that Peridot, Bismuth and the Pearls have all figured out how to make their homeworld "purpose" work in a way that makes them happy.

The second thing Connie learns is Peridot might not understand what a T.A. is or what they are supposed to do. She guesses that with Peridot's experience, she's never needed much help before. Pearl had made it clear that she only feels Peridot needs help now because this project is such a big undertaking. She wasn’t sure Peridot could manage it alone, which is not the case at all. Pearl was either being overly cautious or misjudged the amount of help Peridot would need, which seems to be none. Obviously this doesn't sit well with Connie as it means the green Gem doesn’t really know what to have her do.

Most of the time it seems as if Peridot just asks her to go get things from the greenhouses. "Connie, could you please run back to get a box of shovels from off the third shelf? This class is much bigger than I anticipated."

“Sure. Is there anything else you need me to get?” Connie asks in a leading way. If she is going to the greenhouse anyway, she wants to make it an efficient trip. So far she has gone back and forth about seven different times, only for Peridot to send her for something a few minutes later.

“No, that’s all.”

“You’re sure?” Connie presses her.

“Of course I’m sure,” Peridot says in a way that’s uncharacteristically uncertain. Connie wonders if she is lying. Still she goes over to the greenhouse for the shovels. It's a bit of a long walk through the row of connected buildings. It is certainly annoying to have to keep making the trip. However, once again, all she has been told was to listen to Peridot and this is what Peridot is asking her to do. She finds the box in only a couple of seconds and brings it back out as quickly as she can, trying to shorten the tedious walk.

“Here you go, Peridot,” Connie says as she places it on the ground. All around them gems are working in teams (or alone if they are big like a quartz) to put the trees in the ground. It's still chilly out, but not cold like when she was with the scouts. Peridot flutters from one group to the next with a look on her face conveying practical examination and personal interest.

“Excellent!” she says before digging out three shovels and passes them off to a few nearby Rubies. Looking around there are definitely gems who aren’t using their shovels at the moment. She can’t see any reason they couldn’t have shared the shovels they aren’t currently using. It might be better they have more in case they end up needing them. It still feels like wasted effort to have her go to the greenhouse for something they clearly didn’t need.

“Connie, look!” Peridot says, leading her around the area. "Our class has found the optimum arrangement for planting the different species to stimulate growth. Come see how beautiful the peach trees look already!"

“Right,” she says, ignoring her own thoughts and following the Gem as she brings her over to one of the Topaz gems from the other day (Connie fights the shiver again). Peridot points to show her how the other gem is planting the tree. Connie gives a small nod of acknowledgement and a smile. “That looks great! You’re doing a good job. You all are.”

“Aren’t they?” Peridot adds, “We’re going to have a beautiful orchard in no time!”

Connie nods again then looks around. Peridot wanders over to a Sapphire and Connie follows. She lingers while Peridot talks to the blue gem then when she turns back around Connie asks, “What should I do now?”

Peridot’s smile drops for a second as she looks around. She gently scratches her chin in thought. Connie looks around as well. Peridot had communicated her instructions almost perfectly. It seems that none of the students are struggling. The same was true of the previous class and she will be shocked if it’s not the case for the last class of the day as well. No one could ever say that Peridot doesn't know how to teach other gems about human society.

“Maybe you could go back to the other greenhouse and get us more fertilizer...” Again it is said with an uncertainty she would never have associated with Peridot. She looks around and it appears they are not lacking in bags of fertilizer either.

“If you’re sure that’s what you need me to do,” she says with the same leading tone. It seems as if Peridot only wants to give her busy work. Connie doesn’t like doing busy work. It’s a waste of time for everybody involved. If Bismuth had been over-exaggerating her abilities then Peridot is under playing them.

“Oh, yes, one hundred percent sure!” Peridot answers as Connie turns to head back towards the greenhouse, “And hurry back!”

With a sigh, Connie takes another trip to the greenhouse. Despite what Peridot asks, she takes her time. It doesn’t seem like there is much else for her to do and she needs to get in as many hours as possible every day she works. She needs to fill all of her time there even if the amount of work she has actually done amounts to about half an hour. Connie hates doing any task that is only meant to keep her doing something. What's the point of doing something just to occupy yourself? Other than her leisure time, everything Connie does is productive and with purpose. She doesn't do stuff to fill the time because that's useless. She drags her feet back to Peridot.

“There you are!” the green Gem says when she sees Connie. She doesn’t even acknowledge the bag of fertilizer Connie brought her when she puts it down. Instead she grabs Connie’s hand and pulls her back toward the field, “Just wait until you see that Star Sapphire’s planting area. It’s going to grow into the biggest and healthiest tree in the bunch. I can almost guarantee it!”

Connie looks back at the bag she brought as she tries to listen to what Peridot has to say. Connie is starting to wonder if she just wants to show off. Knowing how egotistical she can be that seems like a likely explanation. She lets herself be pulled along, hoping Peridot can’t tell how bored she is.

* * *

It’s needless to say but Connie’s day with Peridot was considerably less enjoyable than her day with Bismuth and less useful then her time with the Pearls. The worst part of it is she has to do it all again! She's honestly not sure she can handle it. The only reason she came back to work is the fact that she won't graduate if she doesn’t get these hours in. However she decided the night before to ask Pearl to re-assign her somewhere else. They are doing her a favor by letting her volunteer there for school credit, but she is still there to work. Going where they need her is her entire job and Peridot is clearly in no need of help.

Lion is finally available and drops her off right in the center of town. For the first time Pearl isn’t there to greet her. She gets a text from the pale Gem though to head off to the farmland for the day. With a quiet groan, Connie walks that way with some hope it might be better. The class got far in their work last time so hopefully this will be Connie's last day with Peridot. She finds the green gem already at work sorting out her tools when she arrives. She looks up as Connie walks over and without even saying a short "hello" she rushes over to her with a big smile.

“Look, look, look,” she says, as she drags Connie to over to a picnic table. She points into a pot of dirt she placed in the middle with a “Ta-daaa!”

At first she doesn’t see what the Gem is pointing to, then she realizes there are seeds in the dirt. Not planted, just sitting as if Peridot only needed a place to store them where they wouldn't get lost and had no actual plans for them. In a strange but understandable way Connie can relate to this collection of seeds. It brings a small smile to her face. Peridot quickly scoops them and holds them gently in her hand as she talks rapidly, “They must have gotten mixed into the bag by mistake. The plan wasn’t to have any seeds until after summer but look at these babies! Do you know what this means, Connie? Not only can my students begin learning the difference in fruit and vegetable seeds they can even possibly start their own trees! It will of course take them longer to grow but the experience is going to be so rewarding! I can’t wait for our class to start today.”

Connie’s smile drops, dreading the prospect of another day here, “Yeah, about that, Peridot.” —she clears her throat— “you obviously have this all figured out and your class seems to have a handle on this all so I’m not sure you really need my help. I was actually going to ask Pearl if she needed me anywhere else…”

“Oh.” 

To her surprise, Peridot sounds disappointed by that. She can’t imagine why. Peridot is more than capable of handling this. If anything, Connie is a burden as the Gem constantly has to find things for her to do. She had assumed it was exhausting for them both and that Peridot would be as relieved as Connie to have the young woman working somewhere else. That’s not at all what her face conveys though. Peridot wears her emotions on her sleeve unless she is making a concentrated effort to hide them.

In that moment, Connie understands Peridot doesn’t _want_ her to leave. She has been _enjoying_ her company. While Connie was busy trying to find any excuse not to be here, Peridot had been looking forward to seeing her again. Whatever this unsettling feeling that Connie feels around Peridot is, it’s not one the other shares. Connie feels more than a little ashamed.

Unsure what else to do, Connie reaches down to pick up one of the seeds, “You know, my dad and I planted an apple tree when I was a kid. We planted the wrong kind of tree though, so all of the apples were bitter and inedible. We left it up because it’s pretty but it’s useless for food." 

"Oh well, that's unfortunate." There is real sympathy in her voice when she says it.

"Yeah, it is." She gives Peridot a look she hopes conveys pride and awe. "I’ll bet that would never happen in your class.”

Peridot scoffs before she puts on a smug expression, “Of course it wouldn’t happen. Not only have I dedicated most of my time on Earth to growing and protecting plant life, I spent centuries tending to only the most sophisticated gem kindergartens. Not being able to tell the seed of an edible plant from an uneditable one would be like expecting an alpha kindergarten to produce a cherry quartz!”

Peridot laughs, only to see Connie isn’t laughing. Before allowing Connie to speak she amends, “Or like mistaking a modern reboot for the actual classic film. When will humans learn no one enjoys remakes?”

This time Connie does laugh. “Oh my gosh, have you seen the newest adaptation of “The Lady of the Locket” trilogy?”

“Oh, it’s awful!” Peridot joins in on her laughter. “The originals are superior in every conceivable way!”

Connie shrugs, “The special effects in the new ones are better.”

Peridot gives her a quizzical look. "What does that matter?"

"Well don't you think it's easier to get lost in a fictional world if it actually looks like you're there? When the magic looks like it's happening for real, it's easier to invest in the story." Connie isn't sure where the conversation started as she continues. "There isn't any reason to watch a fantasy movie if you aren't going to try to live vicariously through the characters in a different world."

"I concede that's a fair point," Peridot quite surprisingly admits, “However aesthetic improvements and stronger visuals don’t make up for the lack of proper plot and character development.”

Connie finds herself nodding, "Yeah, it's a shame that franchises would rather invest money into surface level elements while ignoring what the story is really meant to be about at its core."

"Not to mention they took all the screen time away from Bernadette to give to Magadolina! Everyone knows Bernadette is the driving force behind the whole plot!"

"Oh thank goodness," Connie says with more passion than she expects, "I tell my friends that all the time and they never listen to me!"

"Pssh, it's obvious through the subtext that she's the connecting point of the story."

"I know, right? Open your mind a little bit." Connie smiles, looking at the seed in her hand. She thinks for a moment before saying, “You know, I actually think I would like to help in your class today. If that’s alright with you. I can tell your class about the mistake I made with my dad and you can teach them how to avoid it. I’ll bet the perspective of an actual human who has to eat would really help.”

Peridot smiles as well, “I agree! There are a lot of things gems still need to learn when it comes to the way humans absorb nutrients.”

Connie is somewhat amazed as this Peridot is a far cry from the one she knew a few years prior who insisted on being "The Garnet" in their imitation of the Crystal Gems. When did Peridot get so laid-back? When did Peridot become such an expert on Earth culture? How long has Peridot been, well, fun? Is it just Connie? Trapped in an image of these gems she knew as a kid? She had been worried they would judge her based solely on her relationship with Steven and yet here she is judging a Gem by her past actions. How did that make her better than the gems who whispered as she passed? She feels silly for it. Is she holding a grudge? It sure seems like it. She decides in that moment to turn her attitude around.

“Let’s get ready for class then!”

“Alright, come quickly!”

* * *

"Well, I would call this endeavor of ours a great success!" Peridot says looking over the rows of trees they spent three days planting. Connie imagines what this place will look like after they are grown. She thinks it's going to look beautiful and even if it doesn't Peridot is so pleased by the work they put in. It warms her heart.

"Yeah, it sure looks like it," Connie agrees as they pack up all of the supplies to bring back to the front greenhouse. Peridot doesn't need much help with that as many of the boxes have metal. Connie mostly opens the doors for her to walk the items through. She can see Peridot walk tall and with confidence from her pride. She put so much of herself into this project. So as they walk, Connie decides to ask her, "Peridot, why is this so important to you?"

Peridot considers the question for a short moment, "Sustainable living is a top priority of mine."

"What?" Connie asks, surprised by the answer as they both put the items away on the shelves, “But gems don’t need food to survive.”

“It’s not for gems,” Peridot explains as if that’s obvious, “It’s for humans. If gems understand what humans need to survive and can help foster that need then we’ll be able to build a stronger society together.”

“You’re trying to set up a food resource… for people?”

“Yes, that is the ultimate plan.

"Human beings are wonderful creatures." —Peridot picks up one of the pots with a plant inside that looks like it’s wilting— "They have this beautiful planet, capable of creating life in a natural and complex way. The process of human growth is an enigma but it’s one I can’t help but enjoy.

"But they are wasting resources and letting their planet decline in health,” her voice is laced with frustration, “I feel the need to be ready when civilization fails the humans and only a few will be around to rebuild the world. I want the new world to be a place humans can live and be happy. I want the new world gems and humans make together to be one where everyone can be free.

“The most amazing thing about Earth is that here we're all free. We can all grow and change. We can learn from each other and help each other. Steven taught me that. He taught me about rain and food and TV shows. I admire humans and everything they have made. When their civilization inevitably crumbles, I want them to survive alongside gems."

Connie is in awe. She’s had similar thoughts about the decline of Earth’s resources. She was much more zealous about it as a child. She is a lot more laid-back about things these days, but her concerns about the environment and future resources is still important to her and doing all she can to be ready has never stopped being one of her goals. "That's beautiful, Peridot!” 

“What is?”

“The way you want to help people! Humans and gems alike. That you've managed to create a purpose here for yourself. That you've chosen to _do_ something."

"I want to help others,” she explains as if that’s obvious but she also looks flattered as she adds, “The way Steven helped me."

"I know what you mean." She nods. "He’s good at that. Helping others feels good. I've never felt better than when I helped establish democracy across the universe."

Peridot looks at her quizzically, "Then why do you never come to see the fruits of your labor?"

"What do you mean?"

Peridot's gestures around her, "This! This is the result of all you did by dismantling the empire and liberating gems but I never see you here. I love my plants even when they're grown. I never stop appreciating their beauty. Why don't you feel the same way about the society you helped build?"

"What- I don't-” Connie sputters, caught off guard. Is Peridot mocking her or genuinely asking? Probably the latter but she is still insulted, “Little Homeworld is great! I'm proud I helped make it a reality. I'm proud of all the hard work I put into this place and how much I helped Steven! I just have other things going on in my life right now. I don't have time to prance around here acting all high and mighty about it!"

"Well, you've certainly found time now that it benefits you."

"I-" Connie cuts herself off. Does Peridot have a point here? Is she right? Did Connie give up on this place? Did she give up on gems? 

She never thought she did but Peridot's words echo in her head and she isn't sure about that anymore. Connie never really thought of herself as a true Crystal Gem until recently and yet here is Peridot not only confirming what Bismuth said, but expanding on it. She is telling Connie she has a duty to Little Homeworld. One that she had apparently unknowingly abandoned.

That isn't true though. Putting her life first didn't mean she had forsaken this part of her life, of her history. The feeling she has while with Peridot finally makes sense to her. Connie doesn’t want to know what others think of her. It’s why the references to Steven bother her. She doesn’t like looking in a mirror. She doesn’t like to see what she looks like to other people. Whether it’s true or not, it’s exactly the way she feels around Peridot, as if she is looking at a version of herself. She likes Peridot but does she want to be like Peridot? She’s not sure about it.

“Do you have any plans?” Peridot says as she finishes locking the door to the greenhouse. Connie was looking for Lion but upon hearing that gives Peridot her attention.

“Not tonight,” she answers, “Usually I call Steven but his band has a show. I was going to study, but I can do it tomorrow if you need me here.”

“Oh no,” Peridot says, shaking her head, “I don’t need you for anything. Lapis is going to be out helping Garnet with something for the rest of the night and so I was wondering if you wanted to come to our place to watch the original “Lady of the Locket” movies with me.”

“Oh,” Connie says, feeling herself smile, “You just want to… hang out with me.”

“Sure, if you want to.”

Connie thinks for a moment. It’s actually been a really nice week. She hasn’t watched those movies in so many years, she can’t remember the last time she did. She can’t remember the last time she hung out with someone who isn’t Steven either. Not to say she doesn’t enjoy her time with Steven immensely, because she does. He is just the only person she spends quality time with now. She and her friends try to get together when they can, but it rarely pans out. Most of her friends are in college mode, same as her. None of them have much time to dedicate to their social lives.

So with a smile she responds, “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.”

“Great!" Peridot chimes before leading Connie further into town, "Lapis and I live just over this way!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback always Welcome!
> 
> Also if you feel like it check out this cool SU fanfic discord I'm part of:
> 
> https://discord.gg/FJHvuGs


	5. Hour 026: A Lot to Unpack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie gets side-tracked by a certain blue gem while working. As it turns out these two loners have more in common than Connie is entirely comfortable with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter to date and I am proud asf!! Things get a tiny bit angsty but then it's Lapis what do you expect?

Binge-watching one of her favorite old movie series with Peridot was probably the most fun Connie had in a long time. Although she had been tired at school the next day (and it showed on her face, something Daniel felt the need to comment on), it had been worth it. Much like with Bismuth, Connie almost wishes Peridot was worse at her job so she would have an excuse to work with the small Gem more.

Connie had done a bit of research on her own time and found the best term for her position at Little Homeschool is a "floater." A staff member whose job is to float around so to speak in order to fill in wherever an extra person was needed. Considering Pearl will send Connie to anyone who asks for help or looks to be struggling, the term fits.

She isn't upset about that. It's better for her future resume to spread herself out. The only issue is she doesn't normally know exactly where she’ll be or what she’ll be doing from day to day. Her eleven hours with Peridot had been the only time she worked consecutively on one duty. Though she had been placed with Jamie twice more (so far Volleyball is the only T.A. she has been asked to cover for and she is suspicious what tasks the pink gem is needed for so often). She got to spend another day with Peridot. That day with the green gem had led into a second night watching the bad remakes of the movies they love. This time it was purely to mock them. She had been on a supply run once along with Bismuth. There was another day when she was asked to help a student who joined late get settled into her dorm room. She spent one afternoon filing paperwork all on her own in an office that she hadn't known existed until that day.

The longer she is there and the more she does, the more confident she is when she shows up every day. She finds herself arriving most times with a wide smile on her face, ready to take on the task of the day. Even more comforting are the smiles and greetings she receives from gems she's met while she has been working there. The Amber and the Peridot from the theater class both give her enthusiastic waves whenever they cross paths. She’s happy to see they’ve made friends with one another. She feels good about that. She feels part of their journey in creating a life on Earth. She honestly finds it quite fun to experience all the other things Little Homeschool has to offer. The place has really grown since she helped the Crystal Gems develop the idea several years ago.

Connie can hardly believe she is around a quarter of the way through her hours. That much closer to graduation and being class valedictorian.

This day Pearl sent her and Lion on a few quick trips around Little Homeworld at the beginning of her shift. It only took the first hour so there is still plenty of time left for work after she finishes dropping the last item off to Garnet. She says goodbye to the pink wildcat and is heading off to find Pearl to receive her next assignment when a loud noise from the building next to her stops her in her tracks. She spins quickly toward the building. She recognizes it when she sees it. She’s been there a few times since her volunteer hours started.

It’s where Peridot and Lapis live.

Connie  assesses the situation quickly. Neither the noise itself nor the lack of follow-up implies there is any danger. She imagines knocking something over in Bismuth’s forge would cause more of a racket and more damage. Whatever it was, it wasn’t likely to be anything serious and it is very much not her business. However, if someone were to make a list of all the things that describe Connie, curious would show up pretty early. She has been spending a decent amount of time with Peridot as of late and her interest and concern for her friend drive her forward.

So a moment later she finds herself at the wide door watching not Peridot, but Lapis making her way around the room. 

Connie’s body goes stiff. She has done well to avoid Lapis ever since she started working there, being sure to hang out with Peridot only when Lapis wasn’t around. Much like with the small, green Gem, Lapis and Connie have a complicated history. Lapis was the other Gem she had been forced to put in her place during their run as substitute Crystal Gems and that was after their first meeting where Lapis attempted to drown her. To say the water Gem brings out mixed feelings in Connie would be a mild way to put it.

It has been better for both that they haven’t seen each other more than in passing over the last few weeks.

Lapis is picking something up off the floor and putting it into a box. One thing Connie clocked when she spent her first night at Peridot’s is that for Gems, Peridot and Lapis are very attached to material things. She isn’t sure the two of them know what everything they own actually does but she knows it all means a great deal to them. Not all of the objects are even in working order. Some of it they have turned into Meep-morps and some of it they have kept intact. Either way, she would say their home borders on being considered cluttered and the two could be classified as mild hoarders.

Yet today the room, she notices, is filled with boxes. Some of the stuff is packed.

There is that nagging tug at the back of her mind that tells her to get back to work. She has more important things to worry about. However, unlike the mystery of the pink-haired gem that she’s seen twice more now, the answer to this question is walking around right in front of her. Her curiosity could be sated with a few steps and some short conversation. Which is good as she’s not sure she could handle more than that with Lapis Lazuli.

So with no other set task ahead of her, Connie makes her way into the building as the blue Gem continues her work.

Lapis is caught up in what she is doing and doesn’t look up from taking things off the shelves to pack them into the boxes. Most items she puts into a box without thought while others she holds for a moment and thinks about before she either packs it into a box or places it back. She does this in full concentration as she makes her way around the room. Connie is watching her silently as she does this. Finally, she turns around just as Connie opens her mouth to speak and the two are eye to eye.

“Oh.”

They hold their gaze for a moment as Connie feels her face burns in shame. Suddenly it occurs to her how rude this is. She clears her throat, awkwardly. Lost for what else to say, she replies, “Hey, Lapis.”

“Hey.”

The two of them stand in an uncomfortable silence. 

They look away from each other and then back a few times as if expecting the situation to have changed in that amount of time. Connie is intensely aware that she is the one who put them into this position. It’s not as if they've had any extensive conversations in the time they’ve known each other. Connie is not sure what would lead her to believe Lapis would be willing to talk with her about… well, anything. She isn’t even sure she has ever been  _ alone  _ with Lapis before this very moment. It may have happened because she would definitely have blocked something this painfully awkward from her memory.

“So,” Lapis stretches the word out before she continues, “what are you doing here?”

Connie looks around, unsure of how to phrase her answer. There is no way to hide her intentions so she admits, “I heard a noise and wanted to know everything was okay.”

“Oh," Lapis says again as if she had been expecting Connie to give her more of an explanation than that. "Well, everything is okay here. Thanks for checking, I guess.”

“No problem.”

Again a still, long silence.

“Can I… help you?” Lapis finally asks.

“Why are you packing up your stuff?” Connie decides to stop dancing around it and just ask. “Are you spring cleaning?”

“Something like that.” Lapis looks around the room as if she is taking it all in. She turns around and continues to pack away her things. With a wave of her hand, she says, "I'm moving."

Unsure why, Connie follows after her as the Gem shifts one of the full boxes away and starts to pack up another. Cocking an eyebrow, she replies, "I didn't know you and Peridot were moving."

"Peridot's not going anywhere," Lapis explains with no hesitation, " _ I'm _ moving."

"What?" Connie is overcome by a weird sense of shock at those words. For almost as long as the two of them have been living on Earth they've been living together. While Connie has no personal feelings on or connection to the relationship between Peridot and Lapis, the concept of them no longer living together is still a difficult one for her to grasp.

Lapis turns back to her and clarifies, "Bismuth helped me build a place a couple of houses down. I'm moving in there today."

"You're moving today?" 

"Well, the house is ready," Lapis shrugs. "It doesn't make sense to wait."

Connie presses on, "Isn't that really short notice though?"

Lapis stops what she is doing and leans on the wall with an annoyed look. She sizes Connie up then asks, "If you're going to keep asking me questions, could you at least help me pack?"

Connie has more important things to get to but she feels intrigued by this situation. She usually spends three hours working at Little Homeschool on Thursday. She could take thirty minutes out of that to help Lapis and satisfy the itch for some resolution to the questions currently scratching at the back of her mind. She’ll still get plenty of time in and a half an hour won't be too difficult for her to make up.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure I can help you," she says as she approaches one of the boxes that sits full and open on the floor. She sees it's not at all organized, as things have been thrown in haphazardly. She could fit twice as much stuff in this box if she rearranged the contents a little. So, of course, Connie begins to empty it in hopes of fixing its spatial relation issue.

"Uh… What are you doing?" Lapis asks in that tone of hers that always seems to come off as condescending. even if she doesn't feel that way herself. "I'm trying to put things into the boxes, not take them out."

"Yeah, I got that. I actually do know what "moving" means. I've done it about a dozen times." Connie answers with an equal amount of sass. 

“If you know what it means then why are you doing the opposite of that?”

"I'm trying to pack the boxes more efficiently so you can bring more stuff in less trips."

"If you say so. At least you're helping." Lapis gets back to her task after speaking.

For a while, the two work in relative quiet, with Lapis inspecting the items she considers bringing with her and Connie rearranging the already packed boxes. Once they are settled into their jobs, Connie decides to continue down her line of questioning.

"Did you tell Peridot you're leaving?" she asks, folding over the flaps of her expertly packed box. She pushes it back unlabeled. There is no order to how Lapis is packing so it's impossible to label the boxes and Connie doesn't have the time or energy to create an organizational system for her.

"Of course I told her I was leaving," she answers, not even looking at Connie when she says it, "We've talked about it a lot, actually. Not that that's your business."

“I never said it was my business.”

“You asked about it.”

"I'm making conversation…"

"You're being nosy."

Connie huffs, thinking it's quite rude of the Gem to belittle and insult her like that when she has taken time out of her day to give Lapis a hand, "You know that I don't have to help you, right?"

"So then don't."

Connie rolls her eyes. Lapis doesn't say it with any attitude so much as just as a statement of fact. Connie doesn't have to help and Lapis only asked her to because she was standing around in her home anyway. Rather not her home as Lapis just told her, she is moving. Connie tries to speak again with some caution, "Isn't Peridot upset that you're leaving?"

Lapis pauses in her action of examining a photo in her hand. She stares at the floor as it seems like she is trying to process Connie's question. She doesn't stare for a long time but the pause is still significant. She moves to put the picture in her hand back on the table, only to drop it in one of the boxes instead.

"I'm not going far," she replies as she goes back to her evaluation of the items around the room. Connie is curious as to why the picture gave her such pause but continues to work, moving to another of the boxes. Lapis didn't really answer her question. She is not sure why she expected her to.

"Don't you think she might get lonely here without you?" she asks as innocently as she can manage to. She's not sure what she is hoping Lapis will say or what any of this will result in but she can't put it out of her mind.

Lapis hesitates. The young woman can sense the Gem being careful with her words just as Connie had done. Lapis is quiet and contemplative with a streak of anger that races faster than a herd of stampeding bulls. The Gem has two settings, serene and still or rage and passion. She has seen Lapis at her worse in both regards and respects her current attempt at restraint. Though it doesn't completely take the edge off, it still helps with nerves. 

Finally, with a sigh, she says, "There are worse things than being alone."

It's not a sentiment Connie can ever imagine herself understanding, let alone one she could actually accept and believe. She can't help but feel concerned for Peridot. Their friendship is still in the early stages of bonding, but she is fond of the Gem. Peridot attempts not to talk too much about Lapis around Connie, probably sensing it's a sensitive subject, but when she does talk about the other Gem it borders on gushing. Lapis clearly means a great deal to her and Connie hates the idea of her friend being lonely.

Connie had spent the majority of her childhood alone. As she told Lapis, she moved a lot before her mother finally got a full-time job on the outskirts of Beach City. Her parents attempted to hide the fact from her when she was young, but she was too smart. Her parents are both thirty-six and they have been married for a little over eighteen years, which is also how old Connie is. There are only five months between her birthday and their anniversary. Simple math tells a story of how Connie was unplanned and born to a couple that was not quite ready for parenthood. A couple who quickly got married when they found out they were expecting. Connie never presses them for the details. However, it has defined a large part of her life.

Neither of her parents felt a pregnancy meant her mother could no longer follow her dreams. The couple worked hard to accommodate for her schooling. Though Priyanka did what classes she could online, that wasn’t always feasible. Sometimes the best thing for the family as a whole involved moving. Doug had to take whatever job he could and put in long hours to support them, and Priyanka had to work part-time as well as go to school. For a short time, her mom even lived separately from Connie and her father, which created a distance in her family they never fully recovered from. These were all factors that resulted in Connie often being left alone. They tried to be there for her as much as possible during her developmental years, but some sacrifices had to be made for the comfortable and content lives they all lived now.

Still, the impression it left on Connie was that there was little worse in the world than loneliness.

Connie continues fixing the boxes that Lapis is packing with shockingly little care considering this is her stuff. She thinks about the current situation with Lapis and Peridot as she does, unclear how these circumstances came about. She knows they didn't come live together under the best of conditions. She knows that, like many relationships, theirs began rocky. But the duo had been content to live together up until now. Connie can't help but wonder what had changed.

She watches Lapis gathering her things every few moments. Looking around, it’s hard to tell what belongs to Peridot and what belongs to Lapis. The two are very different, so one would think their tastes would be different as well. That's far from the case as their interests seem to overlap in many areas. Connie wouldn’t be able to split the stuff in the room between them. Maybe most of the stuff actually belongs to both. Either way, it seems as if Lapis really does have to carefully consider each piece before making a call on taking or leaving it. As Connie watches the Gem, she decides to rethink her question.

“Aren’t you going to be lonely without her?”

Lapis stops, turns around, and looks at her. Connie pauses and meets her gaze. They hold each other’s stare for a long time. Lapis doesn’t look angry. Actually, Lapis doesn’t have any distinct emotion on her face. She’s sizing Connie up. This time instead of going back to work, the Gem walks over to her, looming over Connie with her arms crossed. Still, she doesn't seem angry and perhaps only barely looks annoyed.

"Why do you care so much about this?" she asks in what is almost a snap. She is holding something back. Connie isn't sure if it's anger, but it's something. There is something Lapis wants to say or wants to do and Connie isn't entirely sure it has anything at all to do with her.

She also has no clue how to answer the question she is being asked. Why does she care about where Lapis chooses to live? She isn't that attached to Peridot and even if she was, Connie is not the type of person to bust into other people's lives to try to fix everything. There is something about this that feels off and Connie has never been one not to trust in her gut. She is smart and she has good intuition. There is something deeper that is keeping her here and she is not going to leave until she figures out what it is.

So to Lapis, she says, "I'm just showing some polite concern. I'll stop if it bothers you this much."

Lapis gives her a suspicious look before she gets back to work. Connie breathes a sigh of relief. If she is going to get to the root cause of this then she is going to have to ease up on Lapis a bit. A direct line of questioning isn't going to work here.

Connie can't explain how despite the awkwardness hanging in the air between the two of them she ends up helping Lapis pack pretty much everything she owns. At this point, the conversation has all but completely stopped. Connie stopped testing her luck with Lapis and instead kept what she had to say related to what was in the room. They kept their focus solely on packing boxes and Lapis is currently carrying those boxes out of the house into the busy street. 

Without actually being asked Connie begins to help her transport those boxes into the street. Once they are outside, Connie looks in both directions.

"Which way is your place?" she asks which is the first thing either has said in a long while.

"I've got it from here," Lapis says, smiling kindly. “Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it.”

“Uh, yeah,” Connie says, more than a little caught off guard by the sincerity of Lapis’ gratitude. “You’re welcome.”

Lapis takes a few steps towards a gem-made lake not far from them. In less than a moment, water from the lake shoots out in a stream and circles the boxes to lift into the air. The water follows even the smallest motion of her hands and honestly it seems like a waste of resources for a frivolous task. More importantly, it forces Connie to remember how powerful the Gem is. Lapis walks off further from the center of Little Homeschool with all of her belongings traveling beside her. Connie feels her chest constrict as she watches. She feels frozen in fear. She can hear her heart is beating in her ears. She knows what is happening to her, even with enough time to breathe and fight off the chills spreading all along her arms. Lapis is so casual with how she handles the water and she was just as casual when she used it to enclose Connie's head in a purely liquid bubble. It was one of the scariest moments of her life and Lapis has always been so flippant about it.

Connie is not sure why, but her fear quickly morphs into anger. Her oncoming panic attack shifts into fight or flight mode and, as would be expected of Connie, her instincts choose to fight back. The next second she is tearing down the street after Lapis. She rudely shoves other gems out of the way as she races after her. All she can think about is how Lapis treats everyone around her as less than. Lapis looks down on everyone. Lapis holds herself up on some goddamn pedestal and all Connie wants to do is knock her onto her ass!

So that's what she does.

Connie bulldozes straight into Lapis' body. Everything the Gem owns drops to the ground along with their bodies as Connie tackles Lapis. The water, no longer supported, splashes hard onto the ground and soaks them both. Connie doesn't care. She pins Lapis to the ground, sitting on her stomach and holding down her wrists. The Gem's strength is mostly in water manipulation, unlike Connie she has little muscle to speak of. With her wrists caught under Connie's hands, she would have to exert most of her powers to free herself.

Lapis is staring up at Connie in horror and anger, "What are you doing?!"

“What are  _ you  _ doing?!” Connie snaps back.

“What?!”

“All Peridot has ever done is support you and be there for you!” She rants, unsure where all of her rage and frustration is stemming from, “She cares about you! You mean the world to her and she does so much just to make sure you’re happy!”

Lapis is looking at her like she has grown extra heads as she continues to yell, “You had no one before you had her! She was the first friend you had and you’re acting like that means nothing! You wouldn’t have anyone if you didn’t have her! Why are you doing this to her? How are you so wrapped up in your own life that you can’t see you’re leaving your best friend behind?!”

Lapis has stopped struggling but Connie barely notices as she shakes with anger and demands, “Do you want to be alone again?!”

Lapis narrows her eyes and Connie regrets her choice when a stream of water from a nearby puddle smacks her in the face and knocks her off Lapis. Connie falls to her bottom with a thud. Lapis stands up and looms over her again. She looks around and Connie follows her gaze. Boxes that she herself had neatly packed now lay thrown all over the place. Their contents are spilling out onto the ground. Most of it looks intact but some of it is clearly broken. Connie feels more than a little ashamed. She doesn’t even have an explanation for her actions. She can’t even defend herself.

“Look what you did!” Lapis snaps as if Connie needs to be told.  _ Now  _ Lapis looks pissed off.

“I’m sorry, Lapis,” she apologizes as she fights back tears, “I don’t —  I don’t know —  ”

“Stop.”

Lapis holds up her hand. Then she does something Connie doesn’t at all expect. She reaches her hand down towards the young woman on the ground, offering help. Connie is sure it must be a trick. Why would Lapis be offering to help her? She may have ruined a bunch of Lapis’ stuff in a fit of anger she doesn’t even fully understand. Connie takes the peace offering however and she lets the Gem pull her back onto her feet. Once she is standing Lapis pats her shoulder and actually gives her a small smile.

“It’s not easy to hold back your feelings,” Lapis says with a melancholy tone, “We all mess it up. It takes a lot of discipline to keep your anger in check. I don’t know you well, Connie, but I have a strong feeling that you have a lot to be angry about.”

Connie looks away. Again her judgment on a Gem had been wrong. Connie would still argue her assumptions on Lapis were more justified than her assumptions on Peridot. Still, the Gem is offering her kindness and understanding. Connie smiles weakly as she looks around the area.

“I’m still sorry,” she says. Lapis shrugs.

“Help me get this stuff inside and we’ll talk.” Lapis walks to the nearest box and starts picking things up again. Connie joins her after a slight hesitation.

Soon they have everything in order and stored in Lapis’ new home. The Gem located a towel for Connie which she now has wrapped around her as they sit together on a large rug. Lapis hasn’t started putting anything away yet, content to have it all in her home at least. Instead, she sits with Connie. Connie pulls the comb she dug out of her bag through her hair, trying to brush out the tangles caused by the water.

Lapis watches her in silence as if waiting for something. Not in a way that puts any kind of pressure on Connie, it just seems as if she is expecting something to happen but is fine with letting it happen on its own schedule, whenever that may be. So they sit quietly, waiting for whatever Lapis thinks will occur. Connie is trying to parse through her own thoughts on what exactly happened. She's been in therapy even longer than Steven has, since basically right after everything that went down on Homeworld. She knows what a trigger is. She knows how hard it can be to fight them and how irrationally one can act when they give in to them.

The part she doesn't understand is what triggered her and why it did. She knows what it means to feel triggered, but that doesn't mean she understands all of her triggers. Something about Lapis so casually leaving Peridot behind had hit a nerve deep in her that she can't quite define. She is trying to find some understanding in her feelings but the reality is she isn't sure she can without a little help.

Pulling her hair up and tying it into a bun high up on her head, Connie turns all of her attention onto Lapis. The Gem keeps an even stare and waits. Once more Connie asks her in the most polite voice she can, "Is Peridot really okay with you moving out?"

This time Lapis doesn't look away and she doesn't close herself off. "She is as okay with it as she is going to be."

"So no."

Lapis shrugs, "I can't make decisions in my life based on what Peridot needs or wants from me. Honestly, that's something I'd expect you to understand."

"I'm not telling you to sacrifice what you want to make Peridot happy.

"Oh really? It sure sounds like that's exactly what you're doing."

"Well, it's not."

"Then what are you trying to tell me?"

Connie thinks for a moment. What  _ is  _ she trying to tell Lapis? What is her end goal here?

"Being alone all the time is hard," she finally says, "It might not seem like it but sometimes just having someone can make bad days easier to deal with. That support system can be so vital and it's not something that should be taken for granted. Peridot wants to be that support system for you and all she wants is for you to be that support system for her too. Isn't that a fair trade? Doesn't everyone benefit in that scenario?"

Lapis thinks for a minute. "Why do we have to live in the same house to support each other?"

"You don't have to live together, but isn't it nice to?" Connie argues. "Don't you like that you have someone to come home to at night?"

"It was nice," Lapis agrees with a nod. "Honestly if you had told me when I first moved into that old barn that someday I would miss Peridot, I probably would have thought you were crazy."

Then she laughs and the sound is so alien to Connie's ears. She's not sure she has ever heard Lapis laugh, or at least laugh like that. There's something honest in the noise, something open, something a little sad and a little happy.

"We've had good times," Lapis continues with a small smile, "and we'll have more good times. I'm just living here. This is what I want. I want to live by myself and have a place that's just mine. It's what I need right now."

Connie wills herself to believe what Lapis is saying. She tries to make it connect in her mind. There has to be truth to what the Gem is telling her. If there is though, then Connie can't find it. Still, the concept is lost on her.

"But you spent a lot of time being alone," Connie counters.

"And I spent a lot of time as a prisoner and then I spent a lot of time as a forced fusion at the bottom of the ocean." Lapis smiles in a way that feels sarcastic, if that's even possible, "I wasn't exactly lonely then."

Connie says nothing. She knows very little about Malachite. She isn't quite keen on learning more either. She wants to keep fighting her on it because she can't stand the negative impact of Lapis doing her own thing with little to no regard for her best friend —  Oh.

_ Oh. _

"It wasn't like it was an easy choice for me to make," Lapis continues, unaware of the discovery Connie has made. That she isn't mad at Lapis for leaving Peridot behind. Not entirely. Even all these years later. Even after everything that has happened. Perhaps she will always feel a little bit guilty and a little bit angry. That doesn’t erase the love between them. It barely hinders it as everyone makes mistakes. A good friend is something to cherish and she was lucky in finding the best.

It's not as if any of her other friends make a real effort to spend time with her outside school. True they are all on track for college and free time isn't something most of them have to spare. If it was actually important to them they would try harder, wouldn't they? If it was actually important to Connie she would try harder, right? The only people who put effort into spending their time with Connie anymore are Steven and Peridot. It's a thought she tries hard to keep from spilling to the front of her mind, but she does worry if college will set her back to square one when it comes to her social life. She was lonely before meeting Steven, she is lonely now and she can only imagine that she will be lonely again come the fall semester. For someone who hates to be alone, Connie has done a good job as of late making sure she feels alone. A fate no one brought on her but herself. 

Lapis should be grateful to have Peridot because Connie craves that guarantee of friendship and companionship. She would love to know she doesn't have to be alone. She would love to go back and be able to enjoy those days where Steven’s touch and care were at her fingertips. The time where weekend trips to the movies with Daniel and Patricia were frequent and the time when her track team went out for smoothies after each meet. The limited time in her life when family dinners were four nights a week. This whole thing has been about Lapis and Peridot as much as it's been about any other gem in Little Homeworld. That is to say, not at all.

This is about Connie. A girl who fears time spent only with herself and yet has shared her time with so few others for months.

She is trying to listen to Lapis, who hasn't said much. Most of which was about how it took time to plan this and make it happen. She's explained how this isn't a spur of the moment decision. She put a lot of thought into it before she did it. Connie gives enough attention to be decently respectful to Lapis. She does admire her determination. There are lots of things to admire about Lapis Lazuli if she's completely honest.

"I guess the hardest part was realizing that it's okay to be alone."

"What?" Now that caught her attention.

"It's okay to be alone," Lapis repeats then as if sharing something sacred she says, "For a long time I thought I had to be alone because I didn't deserve to be with people or because I thought people would only hurt me. I thought being alone was really the only way I could live. I was never alone because I wanted to be alone. I was alone because it was the last thing I wanted."

"Why be alone if you didn't want to be?"

Lapis shrugs. "Maybe to punish myself. Maybe because it was all I knew after being trapped in that mirror. I don't think that matters."

"Oh?"

"No," Lapis says with conviction, "What matters was I forced myself to be alone. It was great to have Peridot with me these last few years. We've been through so much together and I couldn't have gotten through any of it without her."

"Yeah. She's pretty great." Connie thinks fondly on the Gem she has been getting to know in a more friendly way over the last few weeks.

"She is," the Gem with Connie agrees, "But Peridot isn't going anywhere and I don't have to be attached at her hip to know that she won't leave me. I don't have to cling to anyone to know that they won't leave me. They aren't going anywhere. I can be alone sometimes. In fact, I'm actually sort of looking forward to it."

"You are?"

"Yeah, might be nice to just be me with me for once."

Connie thinks about that sentence. She thinks one would have to like themselves quite a lot to be happy alone. Except Connie considers herself someone who likes herself and yet she hates to be alone. She wants to think her companion is lying. She has no reason to trust Lapis and plenty of reasons to distrust her. The Gem hurt her in the past, a time not so long ago for either of them.

"I know it doesn't make sense," Lapid says with a very sudden influx of vulnerability, "but it's something I want. I've hurt a lot of people trying to push them away. I have to own up to it and stop hiding behind other people for protection. Caring about Peridot doesn't make me hurting other people okay."

"No, it doesn't."

Lapis looks at Connie. She understands why the Gem does it too. Connie had said it with a lot more venom and hate than either of them expected her to. Her stare is hard and judgemental. It's more than earned on her part. She refuses to look away even as the blue Gem squirms a bit.

"If you want something from me you can just say it," Lapis tries to sass, but it is diminished by her pulling her knees up to her chest.

Connie says nothing but continues to stare her down.

"You can't expect people to just know what you want," Lapis tries and fails again.

Connie crosses her arms, still silent.

"I'm working up to it," Lapis snaps at her this time. The obvious shift in power makes her sound far more frantic rather than menacing.

Connie gives a single nod but no words.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Lapis finally sighs in a show of defeat. "I'm sorry I took the ocean and tried to drown you! I was in a really bad place then. but that's not an excuse for what I did to you. To any of you humans. None of you deserved that and I'm sorry."

Still, she doesn't speak.

"Well, don't just sit there, say something," Lapis pushes just as frantically as before.

Slowly Connie sighs, "Apology accepted."

Lapis shoulders relax and her legs drop back down to the floor. She looks relieved. Connie is not sure she really does forgive Lapis, but the Gem is trying and she feels it's best to encourage positive change. She can work on whether she actually forgives her on her own time in therapy. Playing a part in Connie's pain doesn't make it any of the water Gem's business.

"Lapis!" a voice suddenly calls from the still open door.

They both turn towards the sound to find Peridot rushing into the building. She has a wide smile on her face and potted cactus plant in her hands. There are a few flowers on the cactus as well. She is looking around the place as she joins them.

"Oh, Connie, hello," the green Gem says when she spots them.

"Hey, Peridot," Connie says as she stands. She drops her towel, as really only time will get her dry at this point.

"What's up?" Lapis says as she also gets to her feet. "Did I forget something?"

"No," Peridot says somewhat shyly then holds out the plant. "But I did bring you this for your new home."

"Oh, thanks," Lapis says, taking the plant equally as shyly. 

"Your place looks nice," the small Gem says looking around the room. Then she notices the way some of the stuff has been mishandled. "Uhh, trouble on the walk over?"

"Oh, that's nothing," Lapis waves off, "Connie and I got most of it here intact."

"Oh! Good job, Connie," Peridot says as she acknowledges her with a finger gun. "You did a bang-up job!"

"Thanks, Peridot." Connie smiles.

"So are we still on to start watching the T.V. show spin-off to the Lady of the Locket series after work on Sunday?"

"You bet we are!" Connie says, feeling a surge of excitement. "I can't wait for the rewatch."

"Me too!" Peridot agrees. "Those writers knew how to treat Bernadette's character!"

"Definitely." Connie thinks a moment then, unsure why, she turns to the third person in the room and continues with, "Maybe you can join us this time, Lapis."

"Me?" she asks, pointing to herself.

"Yeah, it would be fun to have you."

"Oh, I don't know about that…" Lapis says looking away, "I've never even seen those movies."

"Oh my stars," Peridot cries, "you haven't. We must rectify this immediately!"

Lapis smiles fondly. "If you say so."

Peridot nods enthusiastically. "We have to plan a movie night as soon as possible."

"The originals, right?" Connie teases.

"Naturally," Peridot titters.

"Sounds fun," Lapis says with a smile that feels more honest than any Connie has seen her give before that moment. "Maybe I will join you."

"We'd love to have you," Connie says. 

Lapis nods. With a smile, she turns towards Peridot and says happily, "Come on. I'll show you around the place and we'll find a place to put this guy!"

"Please do!"

With that, the two of them make their way around the room while Connie heads out the door. There is something so undefined and ambiguous about their relationship. She wonders what they are to each other. It’s not unlike the way people used to wonder about her and Steven. Whatever they have, it's unique to them in the same way. It’s good they have that.

"Connie?"

Her first thought upon hearing her name is 'oh no.' 

Connie recognizes it as being Pearl's voice the second she hears it. All at once, she’s reminded  _ why _ she is there and that she has tasks to complete. She had abandoned all of her duties for… whatever that was that went down with Lapis. She let herself get caught up in drama and she is about to pay the price for it.

"Oh, there you are!" Pearl says as they meet right outside Lapis' new home. "I've been looking for you. I was starting to worry that something happened to you."

"I'm sorry, Pearl!" Connie says, not even acknowledging what Pearl had said, "I didn't mean to disappear like that."

"It’s alright," Pearl says and that seems to be true. Pearl is completely calm about Connie running off the way that she did.

"So what do you need me to do?"

"Well, nothing." Pearl shrugs awkwardly. "We're done for the day."

"What?" Connie checks her watch and is heartbroken to find out that she wasted the rest of her work hours with Lapis. Her whole day has been shot. "Oh no! I'm so sorry, Pearl. This will never happen again, I promise!"

"Yes, well, I would appreciate that," Pearl says then looks around, "What were you doing all the way out here anyway?"

Connie looks away, embarrassed, "I was helping Lapis move…"

"Oh." Pearl glances into the still open door at Peridot and Lapis, standing in that stance of hers with her elbow in hand and the other hand to her cheek. She watches the two for a short time.

"Can I make the hours up? Maybe I can skip track practice tomorrow if I run here? Or I could sacrifice my work-out routine on Saturday instead? I'm sure I can find extra hours somewhere..."

Pearl turns Connie's way with a smile. Afterward, she holds her hand out to the young woman. It's the same way as to how she does it when she’s expecting Connie's volunteer sign off sheet. Pearl says, "Let me sign your sheet."

"But —  but I barely did any work today."

Pearl shrugs. "I think this counts."

She says it as if she somehow knows that more went on between Connie and Lapis than just moving a few boxes. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, Connie digs out her volunteer sheet and hands it over to Pearl. With the same fancy flair she always has while writing, Pearl signs it.

"There. See you on Sunday, Connie," she says as she hands the sheet back. Then she heads into Lapis' new home, either to speak to one or both of the Gems or perhaps just to congratulate Lapis on the move.

“See you, Pearl,” Connie calls as she tucks away her sheet. Then she walks towards the exit. As she does, she pulls out her phone and hits one of the speed dial buttons. It rings four times.

_ "Hey there, you've reached Steven Universe. Unfortunately, I'm a little busy at the moment but leave me a message and I'll be sure to get back to you. Bye! Have a good day!" _

Connie hangs up and continues on her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sum-up of the last two chapters: Connie is lonely.
> 
> Shout out: The "Priyanka and Doug had Connie when they were in their late teens" headcanon was inspired by Hadithi!


	6. Hour 033: Apples Falling from Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie loves her parents. She knows that they only want what's best for her. However, she doesn't need them questioning her. 
> 
> She is doing just fine at that on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is told in part in flashbacks, meaning the tense changes a few times. Hopefully, that doesn't get too confusing for anybody.

"It sounds as if things at —Little Homeschool, is it?— are going well, Connie?"

"Yeah I think they are," Connie agrees, looking at the man whose face is the newest of many that she has been seeing since she was thirteen years old. This one has lasted the longest of them all so she is hopeful it will stick until college. It’s always difficult to start over with someone new though. It means she has to ease into the Gem stuff, which is limiting for several reasons. She doesn’t know how Steven had gotten so lucky in this department but she certainly doesn’t feel comfortable seeing the same therapist as her boyfriend. 

Connie tries not to let her eyes wander around the room. She is telling the truth yet she fears if she breaks eye contact with him, he will think she’s lying. Therapy had been her mom's idea as soon as she started waking up from her sleep having night terrors. Night terrors firmly based on everything that happened with the Crystal Gems. Just as Steven had been negatively impacted by the dangerous nature of their shared childhood experiences so had Connie. Thankfully, she has parents who care about her well-being and put mental health above things like school. Or they do now. Ever since they started trying to meet her halfway on things.

Emphasis on the word _trying._ Because as it _is_ going well at Little Homeschool, her parents still have their opinions on why she needs to find a new place to volunteer.

"Is there something else you want to say about that?" Dr. Rolle asks. Connie knocks her knees together gently. It's probably best to tell him. He already knows how complex her relationship is with her mom. He knows how she still struggles to tell her things and how despite the efforts from both her parents sometimes things fall back into the same old pattern. Sometimes it feels like nothing has changed in the six years they have been working on their relationship. It’s not an easy road to navigate and her therapist knows this.

With a sigh she begins, "Well…"

* * *

A few weeks into her volunteering at Little Homeschool, Connie heard her mother come home one night later than usual. Her mother was so late getting home that her father had already left for work. Her parents didn't always catch each other between their schedules so sometimes their family didn’t spend any time together in the evenings. It was certainly better than it was when she was still a child though. She respected their dedication to supporting her even if it was impossible for them at times.

Priyanka must have come straight up to Connie's room as there was practically no time from the young woman hearing the car pull into the driveway and getting the knock on her bedroom door. Connie had quickly sat down at her desk and started pulling out her art supplies. She hoped to convince her mother she’d been drawing. She always had a fondness for the hobby, especially drawing fanart to share online. Lapis had enjoyed the Lady of the Locket series very much and connected to the brooding Aristophaliss and so Connie was making a picture for her to hang up in her new home as some form of peace offering.

The last thing Connie wanted was for her mother to find out that she just had been texting with Steven…

* * *

"Why didn't you want your mother to know you were texting Steven?"

"Huh?" Connie asks, losing her place in her story as she is pulled away from her thoughts by the question. She looks up at him, trying to process what she had been asked. She often zones out during therapy, absorbed in her own words as she speaks. Connie’s head is an easy place for her to get lost. She puts her hands in her knees to stop herself from hitting them together.

Dr. Rolle has always appeared to be aware of this so he asks again, "Did you think your mother would be upset with you for texting your boyfriend?"

"Oh," Connie says as she realizes why he had stopped her story since that was a detail she had unknowingly added, "She probably wouldn't be mad I was texting him in general, no."

"But you did think that she would be mad this particular time?"

"Yes…"

"Why is that?"

Connie's face burns and she shuffles in her seat nervously. It’s certainly a topic she _should_ be open to talking with her therapist about. After all, it's his job to help her through things. He gets paid for it. She still feels as if she doesn’t know him well. However, she won’t ever get there if she can’t be honest when she is here with him. So with a deep and calming breath, if only to brace herself, she explains.

"Because," Her hands grip into her knees until her knuckles begin to lose color, "Steven and I were sending each other private messages and pictures…"

She closes her eyes with her mouth turned down in an awkward frown as she silently prays that he understands what she means so she doesn't have to clarify. She and Steven were also talking about her visiting him come spring break. She doubts her parents would be happy about that either but the other things they were doing that night were much more immediate and much more embarrassing. The idea for the couple to start doing it had come from Connie as she felt she and Steven had been engaging in physical intimacy long enough to warrant some amount of exploration and experimenting. It was also helping her feel closer to him.

Luckily after a second, his face loses most of its curiosity and he nods as if knowing what she is trying to convey to him without outright saying it. She feels her body tense as his understanding just further puts her off. She doesn’t want to talk about any of this with anyone except Steven. She doesn’t like to talk about her romantic relationship in general. She hopes Dr. Rolle doesn't press her on it.

"I see," he responds and writes something down which also unnerves her. He sees him think for a moment before he continues where they left off, "So then about your mother…"

Connie sighs in relief before continuing, "Well, my mother came into my room…"

* * *

“Come in,” Connie called but Priyanka was already halfway through the door before being granted permission to enter. It was a good thing Connie had already wrapped up her evening activity. Steven had plans for the rest of the night and Connie had an early day the next day.

Her mother walked over to Connie’s desk and put her hand on the back of the chair to look over her shoulder. Not in any way that was nosy, just observationally as Connie continued to work on the sketch she started earlier in the day. With her hand still on the chair, she stepped to the side of the desk so they could better see each other. Connie pat her flustered cheeks before giving her full attention to her mom.

"I need to speak with you," Priyanka said.

"Yes, ma'am?" Connie asked, genuinely curious about what her mother had to say. Her mom looked serious but that didn't mean much. The Maheswaran family takes most things seriously so the look on her face was hardly an accurate indicator of how serious the topic at hand actually was. Priyanka could just be there to tell Connie that she noticed her daughter forgot to do her daily chores, which admittedly Connie remembered at that moment she had. She could also be about to tell Connie a relative she never met had fallen ill. Both were equally as likely.

"I was finally able to get you cleared for a few hours at the hospital," her mother said as if that was an accomplishment on her part. Not that it wasn't one, because it was. The hospital was beyond packed with volunteers. She knew the students who were working off their hours there had strict schedules. There was no other way to manage them all. Connie was just a bit unsure why her mom would do that. Especially when there are teenagers in the area who need it more than Connie as she is getting steady community service hours already.

"What do you mean?" Connie asked, “I don’t need any extra volunteer hours. I’m already on a consistent schedule.” 

Her mother's face fell then she continued. "Yes, but I spoke to some of my supervisors today and they agreed you can finish out the rest of your hours with me at the hospital. If you come along on a couple of my weekend shifts then you'll have the fifty hours you need to graduate done by the end of the month."

Connie sat there, staring at her mother. She had said it like it wasn’t something up for debate. She felt something click in the back of her brain and chills ran through her limbs. It was going to be one of _those_ conversations. One where her mother seemingly regressed to the person she had been before the attack at the hospital. She wasn't asking Connie if she _wanted_ to finish her hours at the hospital. Priyanka was instead _telling_ her daughter that's what was happening. It hit a specific nerve inside her mind. However, she simply counted to ten before responding.

"Thanks, mom," she said trying to sound as grateful as possible for her efforts, "I appreciate it but I'm not going to volunteer at the hospital. I don't need any more hours. I'm getting in enough at Little Homeschool."

Priyanka looked taken aback. Connie got the sense that her mother thought she was going to be thankful for this. She was too in some aspect. She honestly did appreciate her mom for continuing to work on her behalf but it was unneeded. She already had a volunteer schedule and it was going well. Connie is enjoying her time with gems more than she anticipated she would and when she was there, she felt as if she was in her element with most tasks they gave her. She was becoming comfortable with her place there. The young woman knew she would be completely out of her depth at the hospital.

"Connie," her mother began slowly like she was remembering all the work they had done over the years, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be going to this Little Homeworld every week. You came home again with bruises the other day-"

"Mom," Connie cut her off, trying to avoid any disagreement between them, "A couple of bruises aren't a big deal. I could fall and get hurt anywhere. I could even get hurt at the hospital. It was nice of you to keep trying but I don't need to go work with you."

"Connie, be reasonable here. It's just two more weeks," her mother continued to argue her point. "I would rather you do this somewhere I can keep an eye on you. I try to compromise with you when I can. I’m only asking you to do the same."

Connie sighed…

* * *

"Ah, I see. So it sounds like your mom was trying to make an important decision about your life without your input again," Dr. Rolle says as Connie falls back in her seat.

"Really? You think so?" Connie says, no longer forcing herself to look at the man and not hiding her attitude, "She can get like that. It's a little jarring sometimes. It's this weird push and pull with my parents but especially my mom. She's been trying to give me more space and freedom since I was a kid but every once and a while it's like we're back at square one. She just wants what’s best for me but how can she know what that is? I don’t-"

Connie cuts herself off there. She doesn’t let herself think that as she reaches for a fidget device of the ones her therapist keeps in his office. Something she has discovered about herself over the years is that she is a tactile person. It explains the reason she can become so heavily touched starved. She often feels a need to keep her hands busy in therapy. Especially when she is talking about her mother.

She doesn't always understand the relationship between them. With all the progress she has made with her mom, moments like the one from last week stand out. It's as if she just forgets their heart to heart and all the strides they’ve made since, instead deciding again to be the kind of mom who denies her daughter her own agency. It makes Connie feel a number of ways. Angry, frustrated, confused, belittled, sad. 

But most of all disappointed.

* * *

"What are you talking about? I can't work off sixty-seven hours in two weeks. That would be like having a full-time job!" Connie said, more than a little confused by her mother's words.

"Don't be absurd. You don't need to work sixty-seven hours," Priyanka said, sounding equally as confused by her daughter, "You only need seventeen more hours and then you can graduate."

"But I can't be eligible for valedictorian if I only work fifty hours," Connie argued back, "I need to do all one hundred hours!"

Connie saw her mother's face drop then twist into anger as she crossed over her arms. It was then she realized it might be possible her parents thought she was only going to be putting in the minimum amount of hours required for her diploma and not the full amount she needed to graduate at the top of her class.

"I can't get you into the hospital for that many hours," her mother moaned as if that had anything to do with anything.

"You don't have to," she said, trying not to moan back. There was no reason for them to even be having this conversation, “I already volunteer at Little Homeschool. I already did the math a few different times and my time there guarantees me enough hours by May. I’ll be cutting it close but it still gives me time.”

“Oh no,” her mother said as her finger jut out to point in Connie’s face, “You are not spending another two months at that place. It’s not safe! You come home covered in marks half the time and you’re always tired! Between volunteering, school, and your other extracurricular activities, you’re not getting the rest you need. You’ve been coming home past your curfew-”

“I was just watching some movies with a few friends,” Connie interrupted, “I texted you and dad about it! I told you I would be late!”

“I don’t like your attitude, young lady,” her mother said, towering over her in an intimidating way, “Your father and I are worried about you. We don’t like how you’ve been behaving recently and as your parents we expect-”

“What?” she interrupted again, “You expect what? Me to give up on what I want? Me to sacrifice what’s important to me? Me to just blindly do what you want?”

“Do not speak to me like this!”

“Don’t come into my room and tell me what to do!”

“I’m looking out for you!”

“You’re trying to control me again!”

“What has gotten into you? I thought you were through this rebellious phase.”

That was the thing that broke Connie. That was what got her to jump to her feet and stare the older woman in the eyes. Connie is almost as tall as her mother now and she refuses to be looked down on by her. So in that moment, she stood to her full height in an attempt to show off her unwillingness to back down. She planted her feet firmly on the ground with both hands on her hips.

Priyanka met her daughter’s stare and there was regret in her eyes for her words. She seemed to realize her mistake however Connie didn’t back down. How dare her mother talk that way about any part of her daughter’s life? She knew how important her time with the Crystal Gems had been. She knew what it meant to her to find peace with her parents. She knew all the ways that Connie had benefited both in the past and the present from her relationship with Steven. She knew just how much stronger their family was as a unit thanks at the very least in part to Connie’s “rebellious phase.”

Connie was not going to let her mother get away with devaluing that.

In a powerful but still conversational tone, she asserted, “I am going to keep volunteering over at Little Homeschool until I have completed all one hundred hours of my community service.”

Priyanka held her stance for less time than Connie expected her to. Maybe she had realized how serious her daughter was, how fruitless this pursuit was, or how hurtful her choice of words had been. Whatever the reason, she lowered her guard, softened her expression, and relaxed her body first. Looking somewhat guilty, somewhat defeated, and overwhelmingly worried, Priyanka replied, “Fine, then. If you want to continue being childish and foolish, I can’t stop you. But don’t think for one second that your father and I approve of this.”

With that, her mother turned around and exited her room as Connie dropped back into her chair and muttered, “Since when do you approve of anything I do?”

* * *

“Is that really how you feel? That your mother doesn’t approve of your choices?” Dr. Rolle asks Connie after she tells him how she responded to her mother.

"Not really, no. My mom is actually super supportive most of the time. She's been helping me pick where I want to go to school in the fall and she really listens to me when we talk about that. I have a lot of productive conversations with my mother. We even take time out once a month to have mother and daughter time." She fiddles slightly too hard with the toy, hurting her fingers. She loosens her grip and continues, "I guess that's part of why it bothers me so much whenever she doesn't approve of my choices. Because I know she _can,_ she just _won't."_

"Are you worried she might be right at all?" he asks, "About you volunteering?"

"No."

Connie doesn't hesitate. She doesn't know if that's because she truly is that sure or if she wants Dr. Rolle to believe she is that sure. Either way, it doesn't matter as she can't have another person questioning her decision. There are too many people who have opinions on this that shouldn't. Something she doesn't say aloud but as a professional he notices.

"Is there possibly anyone else making you feel uneasy about your volunteer hours?" he asks as she sees him try to keep up a casual, non-threatening demeanor while speaking with her.

"My dad isn't happy about it but he hasn't said anything yet," Connie says, not sure she wants to keep talking about it.

"Then how do you know he isn't happy?" he continues, "Is it because your mother told you that he didn't agree?"

"No…" Connie answers, deciding it’s for the best if she just explains.

* * *

"Connie?" She heard only moments after she closed the front door. She was just getting back from track practice and wanted to get into the shower as soon as she could. She hates the way her body feels after practice. She could feel sweat lingering in places she never feels it any other time. She never even felt gross like it after sword training. She didn't have the patience for anything besides a quick rinse and flopping into bed.

However, her dad is easier to deal with than her mom, so she didn't think it would be too bad. Dropping her bag by the door, she walked towards the sound of his voice calling out, "Yeah? Dad? What's up?"

"I'm in the family room," he called again.

Connie made her way through their comfortably sized home into the area off to the side of the living room they referred to as the family room. It was where they often held family meetings and family bonding sessions like game nights. Steven sometimes even joined them. It was also where her father tended to build and store the models he made. As a child, Connie used to build them with him. As teenagers, her father had also invited Steven to join in on the fun with them. Connie’s father had warmed up to the love of her life much more quickly than her mother had. They had a couple of cabinets of their creations on one side of the room and when she entered the room he was at the small table in the room gluing parts together.

Connie watched him for a moment longer. She was always closer to her dad than to her mom. That was just how things worked out. She spent more time with him and often they put together surprises for her mom since she worked so hard. It was easier to recall memories with her dad than her mom. He also adjusted better to her life with the Gems than her mother did. They also shared more of the same hobbies. Her dad was a pretty big nerd and he had taken her to the midnight releases of some of her favorite movies or books before. Not all their shared interests had carried over into her older years but she still held a fondness for the knickknacks and plants in her room that represented time spent with her dad.

Doug Maheswaran adores his only child and she adores him back.

Connie quietly made her way over to him at the table. Despite having called her in, he didn't seem to notice she had arrived. He was too absorbed in his project, which was another model of a Japanese mecha from an anime he liked. She sat in the chair across from him and greeted, "Hey, Dad, what's up?"

Doug flinched and fumbled with his tool. The piece went flying. Connie snatched it from the air before it flew far. She noticed her time at Little Homeschool was sharpening her reflexes again. It took a lot to keep up with magical aliens, after all. 

"Nice, catch, Connie." Her father looked relieved as he held out his hand for the small piece and she handed it over to him. He did not go back to work and instead, he gave her his full attention. "How was your day at school today, sweetheart?"

"Same as always," Connie shrugged as she wondered why he was asking. She was nervous. Her dad was a soft man for the most part. It didn't mean he would never punish or reprimand her. It was a lot more difficult for him so normally he eased into it. She could always tell when he was building up to his point.

"That's good to hear," her dad said with a smile. "I've been enjoying my day off. It's good to take a break from the high-stakes life of a security guard."

"I'll bet. After all, someone has gotta tell those early spring breakers skinny dipping by the harbor could result in serious injury and/or an even more serious fine."

"Right yeah," he answered, embarrassed then cleared his throat to proudly say, "And there isn't anyone better at keeping people from being unsafe and indecent than your old man."

Connie laughed. She was unsure whether her father was genuinely trying to convey his job as dangerous or teasing about how mundane it honestly is compared to the lives the Maheswaran women lived. Either way, it was conversational, and friendly in inflection and tone. She almost let her guard down. It was a good thing that she didn't.

"Still, it's nice to take breaks," he said while his hands fiddled with his model pieces and his tools. "I have most of the week off. Your mother is making me take something of a mini-vacation. She's been reading a lot on how stress can negatively affect your physical health. You know how she is, always trying to get me to relax and get my blood pressure down."

Connie's back went straight at the mention of her mother. Her parents didn't keep any secrets from each other. Her father absolutely knew that she and her mother had gotten into a disagreement a few nights prior. He knew when there was tension in their home. He was stepping up to play "peacemaker" which was something that was becoming more needed recently. Her mom thought he was good at it. She disagreed.

* * *

"Why is that?" Dr. Rolle says. She groans. It’s harder to talk about her dad in so many ways. She keeps things with her dad buried deep.

“Because-” She cuts off and pauses for a while, fumbling over words.

Her therapist takes another note about that. Connie doesn't like it. She has an easier time challenging her relationship with her mother than she does her father. Maybe it's because her relationship with her mother used to be defined by their obvious distance and her relationship with her father is and always has been defined by all the attention he remembered to give her as a child. Her mother's mild emotional neglect of her is something that happened in the past and hasn't been the case for years but it still informs so much of how she interacts with them in the here and the now.

She doesn't need this doctor to tell her that as plenty of previous ones had. She knows she is more compassionate when it comes to her dad. She knows her relationship with him is stronger. She knows she doesn't like to think of her dad in a negative light. That is why most often by the phrase "my parents" she means "mostly my mom but also my dad because he will probably go along with whatever she wants."

Connie sighs, "Okay, he is good at it! He's very good at helping us find common ground. But part of their idea of him being a good mediator is that he is also good at getting me to agree to stuff when my mom can't. And I never know which approach he is going to take and that puts me on edge."

Her therapist nods, "Do you feel as if your parents gang up on you sometimes?"

“I guess?” Connie shrugs and runs her fingers through her hair. More accurately, Connie felt like her mother used Connie’s soft spot for her father against her. She knows that isn’t true because in order for that to happen her father would have to disagree with her mother. Most of the time he didn’t. She has a harder time pinning these harmful traits on her father even when she knows he is if not equal then at least somewhat at fault. He is no less strict than her mother is and yet it’s harder for her to see it that way.

Connie is a logic-driven person. She wished being someone who could understand why people felt the things they felt gave her some control over those feelings. She liked to work with facts but facts didn’t always match how she felt. Sometimes she was hurt when she knew the person who caused her the pain wasn’t trying to hurt her. Sometimes she was sad and happy at the same time. Sometimes what she knew was true didn’t seem possible because it was at odds with feelings and thoughts she couldn’t control.

“Dad,” she starts again, stretching the word, “Tries to be nice.”

* * *

“That sounds like a good idea,” she answered, rolling her shoulders to try relaxing. "You deserve some time off."

" _Everyone_ deserves time off. Even if we don't know what to do with that time off."

She went stiff again. She didn't like the way he said it. There was an implication. The emphasis on the word told her exactly where this conversation was going to go even before he reached down to pull a few boxes out from under the table and place them on the table between them with a smile on his face. Connie stared at them with a frown. It's more modeling kits. A lot more. He had bought about ten which she knew between building and painting he wouldn't have the time to finish these all in a week off from work. She gripped hard into the chair underneath her. The feeling of betrayal already seeping into her heart.

"I've come prepared, however!" Doug said while presenting the collection. Connie bit her lip. She stared at the models ready to be open and built on the table, "Went out and got these guys on my way home this morning. I'm already done with this guy right here." —Her dad lifts the figure he was building and shows it off to her with pride.— "Though I think I went a little overboard."

"That's okay," Connie said, playing along even though she knew what he was doing, "You'll have more for next time. It's not like anything is going to happen to them."

"Huh?" her dad said as she had gone off the script. He cleared his throat and pushed, however. "Yes. Well. It is sad to think of half the set sitting in boxes until I get more time off. If I get the whole thing set up I could clear off a shelf and display the lot. Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it?"

Connie sighed, "Dad, I know what you're trying to do."

"What-" her dad began to stutter, "what are you talking about?"

She gestured to the boxes on the table. "You bought half of these for me because you want me to stay here at home building models with you instead of going to work at Little Homeschool."

"I assure you, I don't know where you are getting that idea, sweetheart."

Connie had never noticed it before but her dad gave almost the exact same nervous smile and weak chuckle that her boyfriend did whenever he was lying to her. She hoped there wasn't any meaning hidden in that. She cocked an eyebrow, "Okay, so then you aren't going to invite me to spend your week off building models with you?"

"Not, uh," her dad cleared his throat again, "not if you don't want to."

"Okay well, I do want to," she said, which she regretted doing because it made him look hopeful, "But I can't. There's no room in my schedule. Especially now that I'm volunteering. But I promise I can build some of them with you when I'm not busy."

Connie stood to walk towards the door as she added, "I need to go take a shower. I'll see you and mom for dinner later."

"Connie, wait."

She stopped at the exit of the room and turned back. He had stood to follow her with one hand reaching in her direction. They faced each other and she could feel his desperation. He hadn't wanted to do things this way. Her dad was certainly not a pillar of strength but even if he had been a powerhouse of a man he was weak for his daughter. "You know your mother and I just want what's best for you, right?"

He asked it as if he was genuinely afraid that maybe she didn't. She clenched and then released her fists. Of course, she knew this was just what they thought was best but these things had stopped being up to them a long time ago. She handled things more dangerous than anything volunteer work at Little Homeschool could put her up against. Connie is eighteen now, not eight. Her decisions are hers to make and she had made one.

"I know," she said, "and I appreciate it. I love you."

"I love you too," he said, "Which is why-"

"I’m sorry but I really need a shower, dad," she interrupted as she walked out of the family room towards the stairs calling, "Enjoy your time off!"

* * *

"Hmm," Dr. Rolle says as she finishes and he taps his clipboard.

"What?" Connie asks as her body freezes. She hates when therapists contemplate on the things she says. It makes her feel like she is in the middle of taking a test and gave the wrong answer. It triggers that part of her mind that fears any kind of failure and craves perfectionism. What did she say that was _wrong?_

"You didn't give him much of a chance to talk," he says simply, "If you want open communication with your parents then you have to be willing to listen to their side."

The sentiment spurs Connie to glance around the room. There is truth in what the man is saying but if she had to take a guess… Yes, three framed pictures on his desk show a husband and two sons. Over the years she has learned that any doctor with kids is likely to give more credit to her parents, her dad especially. She tenses up.

"I do listen most of the time, I just knew what he was going to say," she says with full confidence because she did know what her father was doing. She could recognize a pattern in his behavior. "Even if he was being thoughtful and kind, he was still trying to convince me to stop working off my volunteer hours."

"It sounds like your parents love you a lot. They seem concerned."

"So? I should let them make my decisions for me?" Connie demands.

"I didn't say that," he says in an even tone. They can both sense she is getting defensive.

"I know," she says, trying to keep her voice even, "They love me and they're trying."

"I would like to talk about this with you," her therapist says in a tone that conveys that he is about to wrap their session. "But unfortunately we're out of time. Perhaps we can pick up here next week?"

Connie nods, "Alright."

She barely hears him wish her goodnight as she gathers her bag to leave the office. She looks at the appointment card in her hand as she steps out onto the sidewalk. She has a strange urge to rip the card into pieces. That's not fair. He's a good man who is trying his best in her complex and unusual situation. It's not his fault he doesn't understand. In most cases, the parents in the equation would have ground to stand on. In most cases, their opinion might hold a significant amount of weight. That's just the nature of things.

That's not the case here, however. 

Connie turns her phone back on to see a set of messages from her mother. She was called into the E.R. and so she can't pick Connie up. She will have to call her dad. She feels a little guilty about calling him to ask as he is legitimately taking a week off. He was also honestly hurt that she didn't consider spending time with him. She still needs to call someone as she needs a ride. In hopes of finding another opinion outside her parents, she searches through her contacts list and by luck finds someone she thinks won't mind picking her up. That is so long as he is in town and as far as she knows he currently is.

Without giving it more thought than that, she presses the contact and calls him.

About twenty minutes later a familiar van is making its way down the road towards her. Connie, along with most of Beach City, is amazed the thing still runs but it's not like it can be denied. She can physically see it making its way towards her with nothing worse than a slight bump at the back as it drives down the road. It barely looks dirty but that's the benefit of owning a carwash. The vehicle stops right in front of her and out the window leans Greg Universe. 

"Did someone call Mr. Universe taxi service?" he asks in a good-natured tone with a wink.

"Hello, Mr. Universe," Connie says, standing and then climbing into the front seat.

"Hey, Connie," he replies as she buckles herself in, "Long time no see, kid." 

"Yeah, I guess it's been some time since we saw each other." She looks away after she says that feeling guilty. She doesn't remember the last time she spoke to Greg and she still called him for a ride. "I'm sorry about calling you to pick me up. I know we haven't spoken in a while. That was rude of me. I just-"

"Hey, relax," Greg says as he pulls back out onto the road, "You don't have to worry about calling. I wasn't doing anything and I'm happy to give you a hand."

"Right," Connie says, feeling less tense. What was she thinking? Of course, he was fine with it. Mr. Universe was a kind man and would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. Giving Connie a ride when she had none was barely going to be an inconvenience to him. He has driven her around a lot as a kid. She's had plenty of conversations with Mr. Universe during these car rides. It's been a few years since she's been in the passenger seat but that doesn't make it awkward in the least. Honestly, it's one of the most comforting situations she's been in over the last few weeks. There was probably no place as accepting and safe as the presence of a Universe man.

Her parents had also looked worried the first couple of times she had hopped into this seat to be carted off to visit Steven.

"So where are your parents anyway?" Greg asks as they drive towards her place, “Why couldn’t they come to pick you up?”

Connie sits back in her seat and turns to face the window. “My mom got called into the hospital and I didn’t want to bother my dad since he’s off work for the week.”

“Oh, is that right?” Mr. Universe replies. Connie knows the tone he’s using. She has heard him use it with Steven too. Greg knew there was more to the story. She just hoped he didn’t push it.

“Yeah,” she says, “I hope you weren’t busy.”

“You kidding?” he laughs, “I’ve been off for a while now. Sadie and Shep don’t hit the road again for another couple weeks and since I hired extra help over at the carwash they don’t really need me there. I’m free as a bird.”

“I didn’t know you hired people for the carwash,” she says, happy for something to talk about.

“Yeah, Amethyst finds gems work after they graduate from Little Homeschool,” he explains as they travel a path they have driven together many times over the years, “So I gave a couple of them jobs. They seem pretty happy, though they need a little help figuring out what to do with their salaries every week.”

He laughs and Connie does too. She knew gems worked around Beach City and some were even starting to branch further out but she isn’t quite sure how that works. She is happy to hear that Greg at least pays the gems who work for him. Unfair working conditions and massive gaps in earnings between management and laborers are both serious issues in their country as it is, she would hate to think humans were contributing to that by taking advantage of gems. She has her doubts Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst would allow that, however.

“Maybe you could drop by and show them,” he suggests, “I heard you’ve been helping the gems out for weeks now. I was happy to hear it.”

“You were?” she asks, looking over at him again. She’s not sure why she is surprised he feels that way. Greg is not her father so he has no reason to react the way her parents have to her volunteering with the gems. Still, after so much disapproval during the last week, it’s nice to hear something supportive. Mr. Universe has always been good for that.

“Yeah,” Greg says as he scratches his head, “I worry about those guys with Steven gone and me on the road. I know more humans hang out around them now but none of them get it the way we do, you know? Even Vidalia and Jamie get a little freaked out by it all sometimes.”

Connie pulls up her knees onto the seat and wraps her arms around her legs, “You’re making it sound like you think they need to be looked after.”

“Nah, the Gems can handle themselves,” he says with a wave of his hand, “But I do think more humans need to see that as scary as they are; they're just people, same as you and me. I think even they forget that sometimes. Having you around probably helps.”

“Mr. Universe?” she asks from her curled up ball, “Did people ever… worry about you spending so much time with Gems?”

Greg thinks for a moment then answers, “Vidalia did for a little bit before she got to know Amethyst better. That might have had more to do with me bumming food off her all the time but she warned me a couple times about Rose. I didn’t have anyone else to tell.”

“Oh,” she says, still in her ball of safety, looking to watch the houses. She is drifting into her head again when Mr. Universe speaks.

“If your parents are worried about you, it’s just because they care.”

“What?”

Connie turns back towards him. He is drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he drives. She can’t help but notice how much Greg has aged in the last few years. He’s kept his hair short and it’s starting to grey. He sports a few wrinkles now and moves a little slower than back when she was a kid. He certainly doesn’t look like an old man by any means but it’s clear that age is finally catching up to Mr. Universe. The last few years have been pretty hard on him.

“Parents-” he says slowly then cuts off to start, “Listen, Connie. I’ll let you in on a secret but you can’t tell your mom and dad, okay?”

“Okay,” she agrees easily. He’s kept more secrets than he probably knows for her.

“None of us really know what we’re doing,” Greg confesses, “We’re all just guessing our way through the whole parenting thing. No one gives you a manual when you have a kid. You just do what feels right and hope it works out.”

Connie knew that was true already. Still it’s strangely nice to hear an adult admit to it.

“Me? I was lucky,” he continues with a laugh, “I got a pretty great kid. But you already know that. Even with my great kid, I still messed up. We all did. Because all you can do when it comes to your kid is try. I tried with Steven and so did the Gems and maybe we didn’t do everything right all the time but we tried.” —She feels Mr. Universe reach over to touch her shoulder— “I think that your parents got a great kid too and they’re just trying their best. I knew a lot more about all this Gem stuff when Steven got more involved and I was still scared. I ran away. Your parents are trying to be here for you. They're doing their best.”

It’s the same thing her therapist said but somehow from Greg Universe, it meant a lot more.

“Gem stuff doesn’t always make sense,” he adds on, “There are parts of it I’m not sure I get and I’ve known the Gems over half my life. And you and Steven know even more about it than I do and it’s really scary to a parent when your kid knows more than you. It makes you feel helpless.”

She shakes her head, “So what do I do? I tried talking to them but they aren’t listening.”

“Maybe they just need time,” Greg says with a shrug, “You’re about to go to college and be out on your own. Your folks are probably feeling pretty panicked about a lot of things. They’re trying to keep you safe while they can. They want to make sure they raised you right.”

“If they raised me right then shouldn’t they trust me?” she argues, falling out of her curled pose, “You trust Steven.”

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t terrified when he left,” he says as they pull up in front of her place, “Don’t tell him this but after he first left, I couldn’t fall asleep for a month until he had called me to say goodnight.”

She sighs as she looks from him to the front of her house. She understands what he is saying. Her parents need time. She has been getting more and more independent every year. She has had experiences they can’t relate to. She lives a life they can never fully immerse themselves in. Even if they try now to understand gems and their world it wouldn’t be the same world of gems that Connie and Greg know. Because so much about gems and their culture has shifted since she first found her way into Steven’s universe. Connie doesn’t have to back down but she does have to be patient and sympathetic and appreciate that they are in some way trying. Even if it doesn’t completely make sense to her.

She looks back over to Greg and smiles. At least someone will always understand. Even if it's not her dad, it's still something. She's grateful for that.

“Thanks, Mr. Universe,” she says, unbuckling her belt, hoping he knows she means for more than the ride. The way he smiles back tells her that he does.

“No problem, Connie,” he says with another wink and a finger-gun.

“I still don’t completely get it,” she admits as she opens the door to get out.

“If it makes you feel better, neither did Steven when I tried to explain it to him,” Greg laughs, “Don’t worry, it’ll make sense once you two have kids.”

Greg seems to realize his choice of words only moments after he speaks them aloud. Connie is sure that he most likely meant it in a more general sense but that doesn’t stop the moment from becoming awkward. Her boyfriend’s dad, whether intentionally or unintentionally, just brought up the possibility of her someday having kids with his son!

“Right,” she says quickly before hopping out of the van, “Thanks again! Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Connie.”

She hears him just before she shuts the door. She waves for a moment before she rushes into her house. Despite the uncomfortable nature of their departure, Mr. Universe has given Connie some things to think about.


	7. Hour 045: Welcome to the Big League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie is about to hit the 50-hour mark of her community service putting her half-way to her goal and there's a certain Quartz who is going to make her work for it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful art at the end of this chapter done by my lovely friend Ramen! Find more of her art at swordmahes on tumblr and kahannialone on Instagram.

Connie tried to take Mr. Universe’s words to heart. She hadn’t had time to talk to her parents about anything since he gave her a ride home but she is at least _less_ angry about their opinions on her choices. She knows it is only going to be more difficult as she nears the fifty-hour mark. The battle with her parents will be even more strenuous. She can’t handle thinking about that even as she tries to make sure she is prepared for a fight. She has things to focus on, however.

Connie is aware Little Homeworld has more than just a school. Her volunteer work has mostly focused on the school aspect, but she knows there are other services that the Gems provide and other tasks they handle. The fall of the Diamond authority hadn’t rid space from danger and there were still corrupted gems and gem artifacts out there to find. Those instances are rare but she learned it is something a select group of people did. She just hadn't been aware who was responsible for that. She learns because she is at the center warp helping Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl carry supplies between buildings when a group comes back from a mission.

Her heart stops almost instantly and she drops the supplies in her hands. She can barely even fathom what she is looking at in that moment.

Connie had done such a good job avoiding the gem and now she knows why. She hadn’t run into her before today because she simply hadn’t been at Little Homeschool when Connie was. That was why they never crossed paths. She should have known eventually the clock of luck would strike the hour and she would be out of time. 

Here it is, finally happening and she finds herself staring down the face of Jasper and a team of Rubies.

It’s hard to describe the emotion Connie feels seeing the team step off the warp. The Rubies hop around at Jasper’s feet laughing and while she doesn’t seem happy about it, she is also not telling them to stop. She seems content, like a parent used to all her misbehaving children. It is honestly quite a sight. She is carrying something under her arm, walking in Connie’s direction with an even face. With every step she takes, Connie hears her heart beat louder in her ears and can sense her blood freezing over. If Lapis had hit one damaged nerve, then Jasper hit many in every part of her mind. She isn’t sure if it’s fear, anger, curiosity, or some strange mixture of each but something keeps her eyes set on the gem.

Connie isn’t sure what she wants to do or what she wants to happen next. She isn’t sure what her knee-jerk reaction to the gem will be when they actually cross paths. She is still processing even as Jasper is only a few steps from her. Her body tenses as she prepares for whatever it is her impulses will choose to do upon their first meeting in years. She hopes she can fight down anything unpleasant but she is struggling even to figure out what her action will be. She braces herself for both their sake.

Only for Jasper to walk by her with no hint of recognition.

The orange gem doesn’t even spare a glance as she makes her way past Connie with the team of Rubies at her heels and continues to Amethyst. The purple Gem is preparing for her activity but looks up as soon as the taller quartz reaches her. Jasper drops the item at Amethyst's feet as they start up a conversation. Jasper is too rough with the circular object that looks like it was once smooth and is still fragile. Connie would guess it's either a basin or that bottom of a small fountain. The other is reprimanding her for her carelessness. Jasper puts on a scowling face that doesn’t quite convey her feelings. The Rubies fall silent behind her as they listen to Amethyst too.

Connie is unsure what to make of the encounter. She thinks maybe she should be relieved as she has tried her best to avoid Jasper. What better way to accomplish that if the gem doesn’t bother to acknowledge her? That way she doesn’t have to even deal with whatever complex emotions are evoked by just the sight of the massive warrior. If she doesn’t know Connie exists then Connie doesn’t have to confront those thoughts at all. This is in most ways the best-case scenario for her.

That being said, what Connie actually feels is offended.

It’s a similar feeling to how she reacted to Lapis but much more intense. Lapis may carry an air of superiority but at least she had recognized Connie. She knew who the young human woman was. That sense of superiority didn’t go so far as to paint Connie as meaningless or insignificant to the Gem. She hadn’t made Connie feel small and unimportant and not even worth remembering. Lapis hadn’t caused a visceral reaction in her stomach that made her want to puke and scream at the same time.

Stevonnie had more than handled Jasper in the past and Connie was part of the equation that made up the fusion. How dare Jasper act in any regard that Connie was below her?!

“Connie,” she hears Yellow Pearl say, “Could you pick up your portion of the supplies so we can finish our task? We have other responsibilities to attend to. We can’t spend all day on this.”

“Huh?” Connie turns back around to face the two Pearls. They’re both staring at her expectantly. She is confused for a moment then remembers what they were doing before she zoned out into her own mind. She looks down at the items she had dropped to the ground then back at the pair apologetically, “Oh, right.”

She scrambles to pick them up as the two gems wait for her. She nods once she has everything back in hand, indicating they may continue to lead her. The two share a look before they spin around and keep on their trek. Connie follows them but glances one more time at Jasper and Amethyst, the latter of which looks somewhat frustrated while the former has her back to Connie.

She isn’t sure what to make of what happened and it stays on her mind over the morning.

Connie can't figure out why she is having such a strong reaction to what Jasper did. Or rather, what she didn’t do. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense. It’s better for her this way and yet it itches the back of her mind. It wrinkles her brain. She wants it to make some form of sense or reason but it just doesn’t. Does she want Jasper to know who she is? Had she wanted the gem to cause a scene in the middle of town? What would have satisfied her then, and more importantly, what would satisfy her now? What was it Connie needed? She might not be able to find out. Even if she could figure it out, she isn’t sure she wants to know.

The next time she sees Jasper is later that same day. 

Connie rarely ends up focusing on one task when she works Sundays. She is there for a much longer time than on weekdays and so often gets assigned multiple places throughout that time. She is currently heading off to see Pearl whom she finds out in what looks to be an athletic field. Connie remembers Bismuth mentioning that gems have become fascinated with human sports, so having a new area dedicated to it was a logical conclusion. With spring here, it makes sense that there are a variety of gems scattered about with balls and rackets and other such equipment. They are splintered off into smaller groups as there doesn’t seem to be a structured activity happening at that exact moment. It’s nice to see them all spread out and enjoying themselves with the equipment that Connie had helped improve for their use. She’s proud to see that her and Bismuth’s efforts have not gone to waste either as nothing appears to be broken yet.

Connie eventually spots Pearl at one end of the field having a conversation with Amethyst… and Jasper. Again the orange gem has that same frown on. She has seen the quartz smile before so she isn’t sure why she has been in a mood both times she’d seen her. Connie feels her feet slowing down as she walks. She is hesitant to go near the gem which she could’ve understood if it didn’t contradict her feelings from earlier. Before, she wanted to be noticed and now she wants to run in the other direction. Nothing about it makes sense but all she can do is continue forward as she needs to speak with Pearl. So, she walks over at this painfully cautious pace, as if hoping to never reach her destination.

Although she does, of course, inevitably slide up next to Pearl to wait for her chance to speak with the Gem. It takes only a moment for her to notice her former student and turn her way with a bright smile, “Oh, hello, Connie.”

“Hey, Pearl,” she answers, trying not to glance at either quartz.

“Sup, C?” Amethyst chimes in regardless of Connie’s lack of attention.

“I’m guessing you’re here for your next assignment?” Pearl asks her. Though it’s not really a question as that’s obviously why she is there. 

Connie nods, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Really?” She finally hears Jasper mutter, “Another Earthling? As if there aren’t enough around here already.”

At that, Connie’s blood boils, even as Amethyst discretely tries to elbow her fellow soldier gem. This might be something she has to be corrected on often. If so, Connie is even more insulted on behalf of her fellow humans as well as herself. It’s not that Connie has an issue being seen as one of them, of course, but she isn’t just “another Earthling.” She isn’t like the other humans at Little Homeschool. Connie is a Crystal Gem! A Crystal Gem who has fought and beaten Jasper! She doesn’t like being underestimated and devalued. She narrows her eyes even though all of her focus remains on Pearl.

“The best thing you could do for us today is help out with a few games. We're hoping to eventually establish permanent teams and even hold tournaments. For now, it's just about having fun.” Pearl continues looking around the area. “We have room for a few different ones. Lapis and I are going to be running a game of basketball over on the new court while Amethyst and Jasper are running a game of baseball on the other side of the field. We need team captains for both so you could help with either one you like.”

Connie is moments away from claiming a spot in basketball because why wouldn’t she pick to be with Pearl and Lapis? Before she can though, the same voice mutters, “Great. The last thing we need is some human holding us back.”

Like a fragile twig, Connie snaps and says, “Baseball. I want to be a team captain for baseball.”

Three sets of eyes widen as they focus on her with those words. Something compels Connie to directly face Jasper after she says it. The large gem meets her gaze and lifts a single eyebrow. Still, nothing resembling remembrance is on her face. Jasper doesn’t even look angry or put off, just confused and maybe slightly annoyed. This only serves to fuel the anger in Connie’s soul more and makes her feel a burn of spite.

Amethyst looks between the two with worry on her face. She glances at Pearl and then steps forward toward Connie. Putting a hand on the young woman’s arm and leading her away from the other two, she says, “I don’t know, man. Gems can go kind of hard when it comes to sports, and baseball is probably the one they like best. We even had to make the field for it bigger than a normal one. Basketball might be a little more your style.”

Connie yanks her arm from the purple Gem’s grip as nicely as she can then with a smile says, “It’s alright, Amethyst. I appreciate the concern but I’ll be fine. I’m not really a fan of basketball.”

“You sure about that?” she warns and glances at Jasper with no subtlety. “'Cause if you’re trying to prove something here, it might be better to just let it go. Trust me on that.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Connie lies, a skill she has honed from years of hiding things from her parents. “I just feel more comfortable with baseball.”

Amethyst gives Connie a skeptical look then shoots a different look in Pearl’s direction before shrugging in defeat. “Okay, let’s head over.” Amethyst turns to Jasper and waves her hand. “Come on, sis!”

“Well, just be careful then,” Pearl calls to Connie as Amethyst walks past her to join the massive gem again. With one more strange look at Connie, Jasper follows the other gem. Connie sees Pearl reach her hand out as if to do something to stop the girl as she walks by, but then retracts it. Connie doesn’t pay the pale Gem too much attention as she jogs after the quartz gems for what will likely be the most interesting game of baseball she’s ever played.

When she reaches the field, the teams are already split up. She doesn’t see many, if any, gems that she knows too well. Only some she has seen in passing during errands or classes, but in general, it seems to be a team of Rubies and a team of Nephrites with a couple of different gems added on to round out each of the teams. She isn’t sure if that’s intentional, or if gems just like sticking in their comfort zones. She guesses it might be the latter. Once there, the Rubies team gathers around Jasper and she can recognize it’s the same group who had been bouncing around at her feet earlier. While the gem doesn’t seem particularly happy about that, she also doesn’t seem too displeased by it. Understanding the red team is probably already headed by Jasper, Connie heads over to the blue team to introduce herself.

“Hi,” she says with a smile, “I’m Connie! I’m here to be team captain, I guess. Though you seem so organized already I’m surprised you don’t already have one.”

“Nice to meet you, Connie,” one of the Nephrites speaks up for the group then she blushes. “Though, we’re not as organized as you think. We sort of gathered together since we used to be on the same crew during the… well you know, before. The Rubies already know how to play so they have a full team. We’re just here to have…uh...” she turns to look at another Nephrite, "What’s the word again?”

“Fun?” Connie supplies.

“Yes! That’s it! Fun!” The Nephrite turns back to her, excitedly. Then she reaches for and holds up a box near her towards Connie with a smile. Inside are uniforms that match the ones the team is wearing, "We do have these. There is probably one in your size if you want one."

“Aw thanks, I definitely want one!" Connie says as she digs through to find one in her size. "And don't worry, it’s okay if you don’t know how to play the game yet. Having fun is the most important part of baseball!”

Before the Nephrite can answer, one of the other gems on their team (a small blue gem with an interesting voice) speaks up first, "The Jasper that is on the other team says that winning is the most important part."

"Well, she's wrong!" Connie snaps and more aggressively digs through the box until she finds a uniform that looks like it will fit. She finds a spare baseball cap as well that she decides to wear. "In fact, it's so important that we're going to play to have fun and we're still going to beat her team!"

Her words don't quite match her attitude and her team members glance around at one another in concern. Still, the Nephrite she had been talking to claps her hands and soon the other ones join in with a chorus of "Yeah!" as well. With her chest puffed up in pride, Connie searches for somewhere private to change. She didn't lie to them. It is more important for them to have fun than it is to win. Still, she is more than determined to lead them to victory.

Once Connie is back with the blue team, she sees the red team already in position on the field. They have similar uniforms to the one her team has except in red instead of in blue. This includes Jasper, which would make Connie laugh if she wasn't still seething under her calm facade. It looks as if Amethyst has donned her coaching outfit as well. This is going to be a genuine game of baseball. The two quartz gems are in the center of the field. Connie jogs over to join them.

"Remember, the point is to teach these gems about human things they can do that don't hurt people," she hears Amethyst telling Jasper as if it's something the two discuss often. "It's, uh, still a competition, but try not to push it too far, sis."

Jasper rolls her eyes but Amethyst doesn't accept her defiance, snapping, "Hey! Stop! This isn't a joke. You came to us for help, so listen or deal with the consequences! Don't be a bully to the other team! You are still their teacher."

"Fine," Jasper rasps then sees Connie has joined them. "I still don't see how we're supposed to teach them anything with this puny human on the field."

"Dude!" Amethyst snaps again. "Don't bully people means humans too."

"I'm just stating the obvious," she argues, "she's going to hold us back! She—"

"Hey! What did I say?" Amethyst interrupts then elbows Connie playfully. "Besides, you don't have to worry about the Conster. She can handle a little game of baseball. Now shake and let's get this game going!”

Jasper, with the most neutral expression Connie thinks she can manage, sticks out one hand. She gets the feeling this act is more for the other gem than for Connie. Still, she takes the hand offered, and subconsciously gives it a hard, challenging squeeze. One that the gem notices as she squeezes back with slightly more force as a smile comes onto her face. Connie isn't sure what she did, but she did something. She forces herself not to grimace from how hard Jasper is now shaking her hand as the gem says in a smug taunt, "Fine. Good luck."

"Same to you!" Connie replies, refusing to submit to Jasper's strength. "Let's have a good time!"

After that, Connie turns on her heel to head back to her team. She waits until she thinks that Jasper is probably not looking at her before she rubs her hand in a soothing motion. She rejoins her team and gets ready to play a 'friendly' game of baseball.

Most of the blue team barely seems to know how to play the game while the red team has a much better idea of the basics and beyond, taking their places on the field after some mild fumbling, though Rubies always seem to fumble a bit. It’s lucky that Connie’s team is up to bat first so that her players can watch before they have to play on the field. Connie goes up to the plate first, hoping to put them at ease to some degree.

A Ruby with a gem in her navel is the catcher behind Connie and Jasper is the one on the pitching mound. She can see Amethyst nearby in the corner of her eye looking over the scene. She is paying special attention to Jasper. Connie gets the feeling there is a reason the orange gem isn’t simply running the game by herself. This whole time it has felt like Amethyst is babysitting Jasper. If that’s the case, then Connie has a lot of sympathy for the purple Gem.

Connie takes her place with her bat in hand. The orange gem drops out of her cross-armed stance, holding a ball that looks impossibly small when compared to her hand. She twirls the tiny thing around between her fingers. Connie notices Jasper's neutral face is no more and it has been replaced with a large, gleeful smile. Her eyebrows are still turned down enough that it’s not an innocent face, but the joy there is genuine. She enjoys whatever they are doing and whatever is about to happen.

Connie wants to wipe that smile off of Jasper's face. Preferably with the bat in her hands.

"Ready, Earth girl?" Jasper asks as Connie gets into position. Amethyst shoots the gem a quick glare, but Connie doesn't care, instead readying herself for the first pitch.

"You bet I am!" she says, digging her feet in for a firm stand. She tightens her grip on the cool, metal bat, gritting her teeth. She stares the gem down.

"Sure you don't want to run home?"

"Oh," Connie replies, digging her heels in, "I plan to make it back to home after I hit every other base first."

Strangely, Jasper laughs at her comment. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

It's the last thing Connie hears from Jasper before a gust of wind blows past her only an instant later. She turns quickly to look behind her, only to see the Ruby behind her already has the ball. Had it really been thrown that fast? Connie isn't sure she even saw it leave Jasper's hand. To be fair, her eyes had been locked in a vision of red on the quartz. She probably wouldn't have been able to see much.

"That's one strike," the Ruby says to her, throwing the ball back. "That means-"

"I know what a strike is!" Connie snaps then feels bad and so she adds in a more friendly tone, "I know how to play baseball. Thank you, though."

"Okay," the Ruby replies, chipper and full of energy as she takes her place again. 

Connie hears a few of the other Rubies cheer Jasper on. It's like she has her own fan club. Connie glances back at her team and smiles. It's the first inning. There is no reason to get stressed out. Yet for Connie, it feels like she missed the most important ball of the game already.

"What was that you were saying, human?" Jasper taunts with the ball back in hand.

"Connie," she asserts, shifting herself back into stance. "And that was just the first ball. It won't happen again."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah! So bring it on!"

Jasper laughs as she prepares to throw the ball again. This time Connie focuses on her arm and watches. She is smart enough to know she will probably miss the ball if she waits until after Jasper throws it but if she can figure out when she is about to throw it instead then maybe—

She swings the bat before she perceives the ball even leave the pitcher's hand. There is a distinct crack as it collides with something, and that something is launched into the air. Her arms sting a bit from the pressure, but the ball is soaring over the field. Jasper turns quickly to follow it with her eyes as her body language changes to one of shock and awe. The Rubies scatter to try and catch the ball. Clearly, the team expected her to strikeout.

Connie drops the bat and runs as fast as her legs can carry her. She races for the first base with more urgency than is needed or warranted. Despite not knowing whether the ball was caught or not, she runs, ends up rounding first and booking it for second. She considers third when she gets there, only to see that a Ruby with a gem on her arm has the ball at that base. So, out of breath and mentally back in the present moment, Connie stays on second.

"Whoo, you go Connie!" Amethyst cheers from her spot off on the sidelines. Even though she thinks the gem should try to be an unbiased coach, Connie is happy for the congratulatory words. Her team looks excited as two clap for her and one waves. The Nephrite from earlier hops up to take her place at-bat while shooting Connie a thumbs-up that the human woman returns. As the gem gets ready for the next pitch, Connie's eyes drift to Jasper, who is still looking at her on second base.

Connie didn’t hit her with the bat, but she still knocked the smile off Jasper's arrogant face.

The blue team scores six runs before they have to switch off. Unfortunately, the team is worse on the field than on bat, so the red team scores nine runs before the two switch off again. It takes a few switches for the scores to even out at all. Connie and Jasper pitch every inning and while both manage to strike out at least one player, neither is able to strike out one another. In fact, as much as they both try, Connie and Jasper go the whole game without ever getting out.

Jasper tends to throw straight and hard, so she seems to push herself to the limit when she throws to Connie, hoping that it will simply be too fast for the young human woman to see. However, Connie is quick and observant enough to stay one step ahead of the gem. She watches, waits, and swings seconds before the ball is thrown. That doesn't work every time and she has gotten a strike or two, it always eventually works out in Connie's favor though.

For her side, Connie tries to be stealthy about her throws. She tries slow, fast, curved, high, low, to the right, to the left, and dead through the center. It doesn't matter though. Jasper's size takes up most of the batter's box. It's impossible to get the ball out of her range without throwing it out of bounds. Every throw by Connie is hit by Jasper. Despite this, she doesn't give up on the goal of getting the orange gem out.

There is a strange extra competitiveness that exists between the gem and the girl as the game progresses. Connie has to more than once launch herself into the air or tumble or turn or duck as she runs for any of the bases. Her agility is on her side as she bobs and weaves through Rubies trying to tag her out and more super-speed throws from Jasper. Connie knows gems better than she does people though, and that's half of keeping up with them, or in this case, outdoing them. Half the runs scored by the blue team are done so by Connie herself.

The best moment for her by far is when, rather than throw the ball itself, a Ruby hops into Jasper's arms to be pelted right at Connie with the ball. When she sees the fiery gem heading for her, Connie shifts direction to run to the side, slowing pace instead of increasing it. The result is the Ruby speeding past Connie and crashing into the mostly empty bleachers. She shouts a "Sorry!" before finishing the run to Homebase.

“Connie!” That same Nephrite cheers as she reaches the team. “You did it! This puts us ahead of the red team! We’ve never played this good before!”

“Really?” she asks, looking around as another team member picks up the bat.

“Yeah,” the green gem confirms, nodding, “I guess you’re inspiring us to work as a team.”

“Aww, thanks,” Connie says, blushing before the Nephrite is pulled into a hug with a Lapis who is also on their team. It’s something they seem to be appreciative of. It is nice to inspire people. They're playing better to try and live up to her standard. She's flattered and it gives her a sense of accomplishment. That should be enough to suppress the anger and high-stress in her heart.

However, as her eyes meet the massive gem's eyes again, she knows it is not.

Connie is anxious when the game comes down in the last inning to a three-run difference in their scores and the red team has only one gem on base with two outs. It would be difficult for the other team to win the game, yet she knows she can’t get comfortable. All she has to do is get one more out and the blue team wins. If she can manage that, then the game will be over with her team victorious. Which, of course, means it is Jasper who steps up to bat. The only member on the team to have not gotten out once.

_It’s okay. It’s just a game and it doesn’t matter._

Yet, much like the first inning, this feels like the most important moment of the day. She feels like messing this up will be worse than she knows it actually will be. Nothing is riding on this and yet she can’t help the sickening feeling in her stomach at the thought of losing. She has to win this. She has to beat Jasper. Connie isn’t sure what she’s afraid will happen if she doesn’t, but she has no desire to learn. 

“Hey, Earthling!” Jasper calls, “Throw the ball already!”

"Why?" she calls back. "Are you in a hurry to strike out?"

"I'm in a hurry to run circles around you and win this game." Jasper digs her feet into the ground, "Let's see what you got!"

Connie takes a breath with her eyes closed. She grips tight to the ball. She counts to three before she opens her eyes. She scans the batter’s box for any opening. Finally, just as the gem begins to shift her hands on the metal bat, she thinks she sees one. She winds up and throws the ball low and slow, hoping to catch the gem off-guard. She has no desire to experience defeat. She will not let things end that way. She can’t let it end that way. 

Connie is stronger than that.

However, just like all her other attempts of the day, this strategy fails.

The ball goes flying and Jasper goes running. The Peridot from the red team that had been on first takes off running as well. The ball slams into the ground before the Lapis on Connie’s team snatches it up. Both members of the red team round the bases as they run for home. The Lapis throws the ball at Jasper and it misses her, heading straight for Connie. With her quick reflexes, the human girl catches it. She turns quickly to where Jasper is running and considers throwing the ball at her. She is going fast. The chances of Connie hitting her are low. It’s possible though. She could do it. She could get Jasper out. Thrill rushes through her blood at just the thought of the satisfaction she would gain from that.

She’s earned it.

“Throw it home, Connie!” she hears Amethyst call along with a few other voices who chime in with the same sentiment. They want her to throw the ball to the catcher, which will guarantee them an out. The Peridot won’t make it before the ball does, but Jasper will still have gone the whole game without getting out. An idea that scratches painfully at Connie’s heart.

However, it’s not a hard choice. It’s barely been suggested to Connie before she is turning in order to toss the ball to her new Nephrite friend at Homebase. The Peridot speeds up to try and beat the ball there, but she doesn’t make it. The Nephrite eagerly grabs the ball from the air and through the whole process Connie can hear Jasper’s chants of “No, no, no!” The catcher tags the other gem as soon as she is within arm’s length of her. 

With that play, the game ends and the blue team wins.

“No!” Jasper stops dead in her tracks and stomps her foot as she repeats the word.

The rest of the blue team gathers around the Nephrite and they start to hug and cheer over their victory. The red team rushes over to join in and gush about how much fun the game was. The whole group is shaking hands and hugging and chattering happily and laughing about the good time they had. They all look so happy. It’s a stark contrast to the pulse in Connie's heart that feels more akin to winning a fierce battle than playing a game of baseball. Her adrenaline rush had propelled her to the end, but she feels about ready to crash now. She has bruises and knows her mom will give her grief over it. She is a dirty, disheveled mess and she will have to shower and change before she video calls her boyfriend that night.

Connie turns, expecting to see Jasper still in her huff. What she sees instead however, is she has been joined by Amethyst and they’re talking. Jasper still has a scowl but it’s nowhere near as bad. It’s mostly Amethyst who is doing the talking as she puts a hand on the taller gem’s arm to lead her closer to the group. Jasper doesn’t fight the purple Gem. Actually, she looks relaxed when in Amethyst’s presence. This song and dance of theirs seems to be a consistent thing and Connie admires the smaller quartz’s patience with the bigger one. It reminds her that she should also be patient.

Connie also makes her way towards the group, running into Amethyst and Jasper on her way.

“Good game,” Connie says to Jasper as they reach each other. She starts to hold her hand out towards the gem then decides she doesn’t want to shake hands. It’s too late though, so she has to follow through and sticks her hand out.

Jasper looks at Connie’s hand then at Amethyst. The purple gem gestures towards Connie while she elbows her fellow quartz. Jasper rolls her eyes but a smile slowly comes to her face. She steps forward and grabs Connie’s hand again. It’s a strong grip but not in the same way as the first handshake.

“Sure, not bad,” Jasper says. “For an Earthling.”

She isn’t trying to hurt Connie, even if the squeeze somewhat does hurt. The woman squeezes back. She isn’t comfortable and she wants to yank her hand out of the grip and run away. She doesn’t think that would be a good idea, however.

“At least they had fun,” Amethyst says as the team captains release their hands. She directs the next comment more towards Jasper. “That’s what matters, the students having fun!”

“Right,” Jasper groans, crossing over her arms and looking at the two teams with Amethyst. Connie unconsciously takes a step back from them. She grabs her arm and looks at the group of gems as well.

Part of her felt maybe beating Jasper would remind the gem who she was. However, it seems that the quartz still has no memory of her identity. This leaves Connie feeling deflated in a way she can’t quite figure out. Jasper isn’t being cruel or any more cruel than her prickly personality usually results in. She isn’t being intentionally dismissive or trying to belittle Connie. She isn’t trying to save face or protect her ego.

Jasper genuinely has no idea who Connie is and it bothers her.

“Come on,” Amethyst says, grabbing Jasper’s arm again to pull the gem along, “let’s calm everyone down and get things cleaned up.”

Jasper makes a displeased noise but follows after her anyway. It appears that Amethyst has become somewhat of a mentor to Jasper since she came to Little Homeworld. The smaller gem looks back at Connie as she asks, “You gonna stick around? We might grab some snacks after we’re done. Your new Nephrite friend over there loves Chaps.”

Connie shakes her head, “No thanks! Steven and I have a phone date tonight.”

“Oh. Ah. Is that so?” Amethyst teases and Connie blushes, wishing she hadn’t said anything.

“Yeah,” she confirms, “I need to get my sheet signed before I head home too.”

“Alright, don’t let us hold you up,” Amethyst says before adding in a mockingly, gooey voice, “Make sure to give Steven lots of big old kisses from us, okay?”

“Amethyst!” Connie moans as the purple gem laughs. Jasper looks annoyed and confused and for a second, Connie is oddly hopeful she will make the connection.

She doesn’t though, instead saying, “Fine, run off. Enjoy your victory. You earned it."

There is some amount of levity, perhaps even friendliness in her tone. She smiles a real, genuinely happy smile. No malice and no sarcasm. It’s honest praise that shows off respect that Connie weirdly doesn’t feel she deserves. She may have shown up Jasper that day, but her impact on the gem was still so minimal she thinks this is their first meeting. It offends her, but it also makes her feel small.

It makes her feel insignificant.

Connie watches the gems gathering together before she turns to find Pearl with her mind still racing at top speed. Somehow, her offense at Jasper’s ignorance of her has transformed itself in her heart. Proving her worth or whatever it was that she did had not had the desired effect of alleviating her feelings. She doesn’t feel as if she had cemented herself as someone who should not be ignored. She leaves the field believing that Jasper would remember her no more this time than she had the last. 

The worst part is Connie can’t even figure out why Jasper’s opinion is so important to her.

Conne finds Pearl with Lapis and Garnet by the basketball court. They are having the same type of celebration of a well-played game mixed with clean up the baseball crew was having. Pearl is off to one side having a conversation with a Cherry Quartz who looks injured. Volleyball makes an appearance a moment later to lead the large gem off, likely for medical attention. Pearl sighs, looking amused. She spots Connie and raises a hand in a wave that drops along with her smile a second after.

“I”m back, Pearl,” Connie says as she reaches her former mentor. The pale gem puts her hand to her own face as her gaze turns to one of worry.

“Yes,” she says, then gives her a once over. “Why didn’t you change back into your clothes?”

Connie looks down at herself after Pearl says that to see she is still wearing the baseball uniform. She groans. “I’m sorry. I was distracted!”

“It’s alright,” Pearl says, stepping closer, “you can return it next time you come to the school. Just make sure you wash it first.”

“Yes ma’am,” she answers with a nod. 

She hears the timidness in her voice. She is looking at the ground with her mind still on Jasper and the turmoil in her soul. She tries so hard to make the incoherent noise in her head form into thoughts she can evaluate. Yet it feels as if she is trying to force a connection that doesn’t exist. She can’t make sense of any of it. She can’t find the right dots to connect. 

Soon Connie feels a hand on her shoulder. It’s a gentle but firm touch. She lifts her head up to see Pearl looking at her with a certain softness. She is giving her a smile that is somewhat sad, but it’s the most compassionate look anyone has given her in a while. It’s motherly in a way that her own mom has never managed to be. Of course, Connie doesn’t doubt her mom loves her. She could never entertain the idea. There is a passion to the love she can feel off of Pearl that isn’t present when she receives the same care from her mom. She can’t name it at first, although perhaps its name is not important. All that seems to matter is without even hearing or seeing it, Pearl understands. Understands what it feels like to be forgettable, to be seen as meaningless.

In the next moment, Connie finds herself with her arms wrapped around Pearl.

“Whoa!” Pearl cries in surprise when the girl launches herself at the Gem, though she doesn’t reject the hug. It takes her a moment to reciprocate the embrace but she does so eventually. “Connie, what has gotten into you?”

“I just…” Connie buries herself in Pearl’s shoulder. “I need a hug.”

“That’s fine,” Pearl says and pets her head, “though a little warning next time would be nice.”

“Sorry,” Connie says as she pulls away. Truthfully, she would like to hug Pearl for longer. However, she doesn’t want to make the Gem uncomfortable.

“Come this way and I will sign your sheet,” Pearl says, subtly leading Connie to a spot out of sight of the other gems behind a partial wall. Once they are more hidden she holds her hand out for Connie’s paper and asks, “Now, is there something else on your mind?”

Connie hands her the sheet and bites her lip. She thinks a moment on her indescribable feeling before shaking her head and saying, “Jasper doesn’t remember who I am.”

“Oh,” Pearl says, signing the sheet, “that doesn’t surprise me. She barely remembered any gems when she first got here. Even now I’m not sure she can always tell the Rubies who follow her around all the time apart.”

“But—” Connie stuttered out the word, “But how is that fair?!”

“Oh, I don’t think they mind—”

“No!” she interrupts. “Not the Rubies. Me! How is that fair to me?!”

Pearl gives her that same worried looked but this time tinted with curiosity. Connie doesn’t care. She is starting to shake. Those feelings and thoughts that have been conflicting inside of her for the whole day explode. Adrenaline surges through her limbs a second time and as she is prone to do, the young woman goes off into a ranting frenzy.

“I have night terrors because of people like Jasper! She poofed Amethyst right in front of me and she hurt Steven! She hurt so many people! How is it fair that she gets to just forget about it? Forget about me?” Connie began to run her fingers through her hair. “We don’t get to forget about her! I don’t get to just live my life as if everything bad I ever did doesn’t matter! Humans matter! Gems matter! Their feelings matter! What she did to them matters! We matter!”

She drops her hands and looks directly at Pearl as she screams, “Don’t I matter?!”

“Of course you matter,” Pearl says quickly as if afraid she won’t have time.

“She should remember me!” She continues to yell as if Pearl said nothing. “I am important and I’m someone worth remembering. And my parents should trust me! I’m an adult who can make my own choices! I’m smart, I'm capable, and what I want to do with my life is my business only! No one else gets to have an opinion. Including my parents! And Lapis! And Peridot! They have no right to judge me! They barely know me! Who are they to make any comments on my life?! What I think matters! I deserve respect!” 

Connie can feel tears in her eyes as she paces and rants. She is lost in weeks worth of stress and finally, she is crying as she says, “And I should be able to call my boyfriend without planning my whole night around it!”

She meets her gaze with Pearl’s again trying to focus on the Gem through her tears. The elder of the two looks as if she doesn’t know what to say. In truth, she doesn’t think there is anything to say. No words from Pearl could make her feel better. She is stressed and angry and lonely. She doesn’t know how to live while she constantly cycles through each state, never coming to a place of rest. Contentment and laughter are temporary relief and never stay long enough to make a difference. Every day that she gets closer to graduation is a day that makes less and less sense.

Connie sniffs weakly as she repeats, “Jasper should have remembered me.”

“That may be true,” Pearl says as she moves closer, “but she didn’t. You can’t change that.”

“I matter, Pearl,” she asserts, quietly.

“You do.” Again, Pearl’s hands land with that same firm but gentle touch onto her shoulders, “and you knowing that is more important than anything else, Connie.”

It comes from a place of sincerity. Connie can hear it in her voice. She and the pale Gem share another moment of understanding. Connie knows Pearl is right. It’s not important whether or not Jasper knows who Connie is. She doesn’t need Jasper to validate her existence. She doesn’t need any other person to do that. She can validate herself, in the same way Pearl had to teach herself to do. She isn’t nothing and she knows that.

That doesn’t stop the dismissal from hurting.

“You should probably head home,” Pearl says as she reaches up to brush the hair away from Connie’s forehead with that same maternal touch. “It looks like you had a long day. You need your rest. Especially since you usually talk to Steven on Sundays. You wouldn’t want to miss your call with him, now would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” she answers, shuffling her feet.

“Alright,” Pearl says as she shifts until her arm is around Connie. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”

Connie allows Pearl to lead her away from the wall they had found cover behind and out into the field again. The different sport groups have merged into one giant group as the gems make their way back to town, some with equipment in hand. Pearl and Connie don't walk within the group, but near enough that they aren't alone during the short journey. The positive energy is contagious enough that Connie starts to feel better. She manages to smile when the Nephrite from her team waves her way. They're so proud of their win. 

Eventually, Connie and Pearl have to break from the group to head to where her father usually picks her up. They have just made the turn when a voice calls out.

"Hey." The human and Gem pair look back to the voice. Jasper is standing with her arms crossed and smiling. "You better be here for the next game! I want a rematch. And this time I will beat you, Connie!"

Connie feels Pearl's arm go tense around her shoulders at the words. It's protective. She keeps her focus on the large quartz. Jasper is unknowingly offering recognition she has been craving. She wants to be surprised that despite it being exactly what she wanted, it doesn't make her feel much better. She isn't surprised though. She thinks for a moment about revealing to Jasper who she is. She's learned by this point that is unlikely to work, however.

So instead she pushes a friendly smile onto her face, saying, "Don't worry, I’ll definitely be here to beat you again!"

"Good," she confirms. Then she laughs a deep, bellowing laugh.

With that, she turns and follows the crowd. Together, Connie and Pearl turn as well to finish their walk to meet her dad.

  


  
  
  



	8. Off The Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie needs a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven is here!!!
> 
> I've been looking for a place to put in this beautiful art done by my lovely friend Ramen! The half-way chapter seemed like the best spot. Find more of their art at swordmahes on tumblr and kahannialone on Instagram.

The encounter with Jasper had left Connie shaken. She feels better knowing that the gem finally recognized her. Her therapist also enforced what Pearl said about not depending on others to validate her. Despite this, she finds she is still in an uneasy headspace. She can’t seem to focus and she often drifts off while she is meant to be doing homework or while she is in class.

It’s difficult not to with graduation around the corner and most students' college applications sent out senior classes barely seem worth the effort even the AP courses. Senioritis has hit them all. She has also now submitted enough hours to qualify for her diploma. She can go to college in the fall. This should’ve put her mind at ease. With nothing really to focus on in school though, she is even more determined than ever to cross the threshold of a hundred hours and earn her spot as class valedictorian.

It would be easier if she could spend half of spring break working at Little Homeschool as originally planned.

However, she showed up that morning to find that the school was also taking a spring break over the same days as her school. That means, other than the hours she got in that day, she can't volunteer for the rest of the week! Unfortunately, this means she will be cutting it even closer to the deadline than she expected.

Needless to say, she comes home in a very bad mood. She stayed to spend a few hours with Peridot and Lapis for their series rewatch, hoping that it would help, but as soon as the episodes were over, her anger flooded back into her. 

So when she sees both her parents sitting in the living room as if they’ve been waiting for her all afternoon, she ignores the sage advice of Mr. Universe and her therapist by not giving them a chance to speak. Before they can even say ‘hi,’ she bee-lines it for the stairs then to her room.

Connie knows what they are going to say. She has finished fifty hours and earned her diploma. They will tell her that they “allowed” her to finish her time at Little Homeschool but now it’s time to stop pushing herself. It’s true that she is stressed and of course, they can see it, but what they can’t see is that them trying to butt in on her life isn’t going to help. Between their pressure, her own goal of graduating top of her class, and the last few weeks at Little Homeschool dragging up so many of her unwanted memories, she feels like she is wandering through a minefield.

Connie needs a break.

She needs to have fun. She needs to live in a bit of denial for a few days. She needs to laugh and smile and feel good about herself because right now things seem just horrible. She needs-

She looks out her window to see Lion has made himself comfortable on her front lawn. He does that sometimes. He likes to hang out around Connie, and despite how late it is, she makes a decision.

Connie needs to see Steven. Tonight!

She empties her backpack and pulls her duffle bag from her closet to pack up her essentials. She grabs anything she thinks there may be even a remote possibility of her needing. A whole six days wrapped up in Steven Universe is the perfect solution to most of her problems. 

Steven will pamper her and take care of her. He'll treat her like a princess if she really wants him to. He'll cover her with healing kisses and cuddle up with her until she falls asleep. He makes the worst of situations better. They can play around and go sightseeing and enjoy being in each other’s company. She will get to just enjoy being a young woman madly in love for a little while. That's exactly what she needs right now to ease the stress that has steadily built for months. 

Steven is also amazing at… _relieving physical tension._ Which she has also felt in need of for the last few weeks as well.

Doug and Priyanka come to her door as she races back from the bathroom to grab her duffle, having packed her toiletries in her backpack. Connie doesn't want this to be a debate. So, once again, giving them no chance to speak, she says, "I've decided to spend my entire spring break with Steven. I want to head out before it gets too late. Call you when I get there!" 

She forces her way past her parents and races downstairs before heading outside, not staying long enough for their reaction. She hurries over to Lion, who turns her way immediately as she reaches out to pet his mane. The pink feline gets up onto his feet to return the gesture with a quick nuzzle to her face.

Connie giggles into his poofy, pink hair before she pulls back and says, "Come on, Lion. Let's go see Steven!"

Eventually, her pink friend drops her off outside a modest-looking building. It’s not flashy, though it’s clearly a bar. She should have guessed Steven has a show tonight. His band seems to play at least once every weekend. She vaguely remembers him telling her that he was playing, too. Although, she could be making that up in her mind. Too many thoughts are flailing in her head to make sense of.

Connie hops off Lion with her bags and pets his mane again in her appreciation. He receives the touch with gratitude and they both feel satisfied with that. He pokes her head with his nose before he goes, either to look for a place to relax or head off somewhere to do what he pleases.

Connie is unsure what to do with her bags. She certainly doesn’t want to lug them inside the establishment, even if the place allowed it, something she doubts will be the case. She's contemplating her next action when she suddenly hears a voice behind her.

“Baby?” it says, full of shock.

Connie turns quickly to see another young woman at the edge of the building with a cigarette in one hand, watching her. When they meet eyes, a wide smile stretches across the other’s face. Connie wishes she could say she felt the same obvious delight upon seeing her. As it stands, Connie is barely able to muster up enough energy to feign joy at coming face to face with one of Steven’s new friends.

“It is you! Oh my gosh!” Kat cries as she puts her cigarette out against the side of the building and races towards Connie.

“Hey, K-”

Connie doesn’t even get out her greeting before the other young woman has thrown her arms around her in a tight hug. Kat is shorter and less muscular than Connie is, though is still within the range of average, so she could easily be knocked off by a trained fighter like Connie. To her, that seems rude, though. It seems better to simply let Steven’s friend crush her in a friendly hug she didn’t ask for (and is barely returning). It goes on for longer than Connie expects it to and she lets go a full five seconds before Kat finally does.

“How are you?” Kat asks, still holding one of Connie’s arms. The younger girl wants to be more upset by that but she can’t deny she likes the feel of other people. Kat has long, soft hands, too. It feels nice to be touched, as much as she hates to admit it.

As far as her natural build, Kat could be described as exceptionally average. Her height, weight, body type, and other proportions are all right in the middle of the expected range for girls around their age. Connie wonders if that’s why everything else about her is so outlandish. 

Kat has an undercut with most of her hair parted to the left side of her head. It’s ombre dyed different shades of red and orange, which goes well with her olive skin tone. She often wears golden contact lenses that can’t be used for helping her vision and as Connie quickly counts, the girl has eleven piercings. Two in one ear, three in the other, one on either side of her mouth, two in one eyebrow, one in her nose, and one in her exposed belly button. 

All of Steven’s new friends are covered in tattoos (which is unsurprising as Steven has become quite taken with them in recent years as well.) Connie likes all of his tattoos, too. Kat has what looks to be about fifteen to twenty of her own that can be seen. Though to be fair, Connie can also see a lot of the young woman’s body in the outfit she is wearing. It’s likely she doesn’t have any more she’s hiding. It’s a short leather jacket left open over a tight, red bralette with low rise jeans and heeled boots.

It’s definitely more of a clubbing outfit.

It makes Connie feel a bit plain, as she came right from volunteering and is still in her t-shirt, overall shorts, knee-high socks, and beat-up sneakers. She didn’t bother with much make-up (unlike Kat, who is not hiding the fiery theme she's committed to) because she rarely does. She remembers then that her hair in braided pigtails and she still has her school bag. She probably looks so childish. What was she thinking?!

“What are you doing here?” Kat asks as Connie takes a step back. However, Kat just allows her hands to travel to grab Connie's hands instead. Connie feels like pulling them out of her grasp would offend the girl.

“I’m here to see Steven,” Connie answers, looking around as if hoping to see him. It’s silly, if he were out there then she would have seen him by this point. He has no reason to be hiding from her or his friend.

“Oh,” Kat says smacking her own forehead but not releasing Connie’s other hand, “Duh. Why else would you be here? Stevie is going to freak the fuck out when he sees you came! He’s missed you like crazy!”

“I know that,” Connie snaps back. She feels bad after, though. Kat probably didn’t mean anything by that, but Connie doesn’t need to be told that her boyfriend will be happy she came earlier than they agreed. Especially from someone who has barely known “Stevie” for half a year.

She takes a breath, looking at Kat’s slightly hurt expression. 

She is about to ask where Steven is when Kat cuts her off by dragging her by their clasped hands down the sidewalk, “Well then, let’s get you inside! This is going to be so great!"

Connie notices Kat forcibly interlace their fingers as she pulls her along. She barely remembers to grab her duffle before she accidentally abandons it, allowing herself to be dragged to a parking lot out back. There, she sees the Dondai and is relieved to know that Steven is most definitely here. Kat leads her right over to the car and opens the trunk with Steven’s keys. Connie can tell by the keychains. She is a little annoyed that this other girl has her boyfriend’s car keys.

“Hurry, hurry,” Kat says, finally letting go of Connie’s hand to grab her duffle bag. She releases her stuff to Kat out of surprise more than anything. It appears Steven’s friend has a bit of a boundary issue. She tosses Connie’s bag in the trunk and Connie shrugs off her backpack to put away as well. Once done closing the trunk, Kat grabs her hand, spins her around, and drags her back the way they came, towards the building, “Let’s go, let’s go!”

With that, Kat and Connie are off again towards the door at the back of the building where she can see four people standing around. It’s three men and one woman who are leaning on the steps and in the middle of a conversation. Connie tries to slow down. The atmosphere is one of exclusivity and she doesn’t feel like she should be intruding on them. She can’t really stop, though, Kat is headed right for them with no hesitancy. 

Her anxiety is justified as once they get close to the door, one of the men sees her being dragged over and scowls with a flat, “Kat, no!”

“Hey, Milo,” Kat says, suddenly sounding extremely flirty.

“No,” the guy, identified as Milo, says firmly a second time, “Absolutely not! I’m not letting another one of your friends into the bar! If she’s not twenty-one, she can go somewhere else!”

“But this friend is special. Don’t you recognize her?” Kat throws one of her arms snugly around Connie’s shoulder as she speaks, “This is Connie!”

“Who?” he asks, looking annoyed at her antics, but only mildly so. Connie is not sure what it is the other girl is trying to pull since she’s never met this man in her life. Maybe she is attempting to fool him.

“You know,” she says with implication, “ _Connie_.”

Strangely, understanding comes to his face after a few seconds, which makes no sense to Connie. However, pointing at her, he asks, “Connie? As in Steven’s Connie?”

“Bingo, buddy!” Kat shouts with pride.

“Oh, damn,” the lone girl at the door says.

“Wait, hold up,” one of the other guys there chimes in, then asks, “I thought Steven was dating some nerdy, highschool girl from his hometown?”

“Yeah,” the third and final guy in the group adds, “That guy does not have nearly enough game to be banging a girl this hot.”

“Oh, just shut up, Eli,” the girl next to him snaps, “You are literally the only person here who doesn’t like Steven.”

“He's way too nice,” he responds, angrily, “I don’t trust that shit.”

“Eli is right about one thing, though,” Kat says, still with that same flirtatious edge, “You’re much sexier in real life than you are in your pictures.”

“My pictures?” Connie asks. She wants to melt into the ground. What is with all the attention? Why do all of these people know her? Obviously, that’s connected to Steven in some way or another, but she’s still uncomfortable.

“Yeah,” Kat continues with a girlish giggle, “Stevie shows you off all the time.”

“He does _what_?” She feels her face burn hotter than it already was. She’s both embarrassed and flattered that Steven is proud to be dating her to the point he shows her picture to people. It’s as mortifying as it is sweet. At that thought, she becomes even more anxious to see him.

Ignoring his companions, Milo reaches out his hand. Connie politely takes it. With a smile, he says, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she says on instinct. When they let go Kat is immediately in their personal space.

“So?” she asks, stretching the word.

“Right, yeah, of course,” he answers, stepping aside to unblock the steps, “If she’s Steven’s girl then she is more than welcome.”

“Thanks, cutie!" she says, hopping up to grab his shoulders and plant a kiss on his cheek. Though Connie can't tell if Milo actually enjoyed the kiss, she doesn't have the time to process it. She also doesn't get the chance to assert that she is not “Steven’s girl.” She is her own person with agency in a mutually respectful relationship! Kat starts to drag Connie inside by her hand before she can say anything with an excited, "Come on, Baby!”

The people at the door disappear as Kat leads her through the backdoor into the open floor of a bar, packed with people.

“Oh, whoa...” Connie gasps at the sight.

She’s never been inside of a bar before. It’s crowded and hot. The floor feels kinda sticky and she can smell something in the air that’s probably meant to mask the smell of the variety of alcohol on sale, though it only kind of works. It’s darker than she expects. There are lights at the actual bar, and also a couple on the opposite side, but the only other illumination comes from the neon signs scattered about. 

She is suddenly thankful to be holding Kat’s hand as she craves companionship in a place that is so foreign to her. She doesn’t want them to become separated by the crowd. Connie finds herself clinging tighter to her as they travel further through the back of the room.

Connie is a fairly tall girl, so she can see over most people’s heads. The place is more packed than she would expect on a Sunday night. Though she reminds herself, these people don’t have to wake up with the sun on Monday and drag exhausted bodies to school for eight hours. Connie can hear music and she can tell it’s live, which means there must be a band playing in the bar. She lifts up slightly to see as best she can, and sure enough, under those lights, she saw when she first got there is a small stage with a band.

 _Steven’s_ band!

Connie’s heart fills with affection and warmth at the sight of Steven. He is playing guitar and enjoying every moment of it. He must be hot because his hoodie is open and the sleeves are pushed up. It’s silly, given he should’ve just taken it off, but he probably didn’t think to do so. He kept his beanie on, too, which barely contains his curls and has to be making him even hotter. She smiles to herself at the thought. 

He is playing alongside a young woman dressed in a similar way to Kat, although a more modest version exclusively in black, also playing guitar while singing in a voice that fits the aesthetic of the song. Steven appreciates all types of genres so Connie had not known until then what kind of music his band made. She’s surprised by the punk style they favor. Steven seems too soft for that. 

There’s a drummer and bassist as well, but she doesn’t recognize them. The girl singing is Jackie, Kat’s sister. The sisters and Devin are the only ones of Steven’s friends that Connie knows in any capacity. She had thought that the three of them were all part of his band. However, it appears that this is not the case.

Kat leads Connie through the bar but doesn’t bring her closer to the stage. Instead, their path stays at the back and brings them to the far side of the room. Eventually, Connie sees another of Steven's friends, Devin, sitting at one of the tables. He is taking up two chairs and the people around him keep giving him dirty looks for it. One of those seats is probably for Kat, though.

"Dev! Dev!" Kat calls as they reach him, "Look who's here!"

Devin puts down his beer as he sees them approach and his eyes go a little wide. Steven has known Devin for a few years, so unlike her boyfriend's other friends, Connie has met him before. His slightly wider eyes are the only indication of shock he gives. He’s a simple guy who rarely shows much emotion. 

His wardrobe consists almost exclusively of band shirts without sleeves, worn-out black jeans, and work boots. Despite this, he always looks well-groomed with nicely styled hair and a cleanly trimmed beard. The guy works at a tattoo parlor so, much like Kat, he's covered in them. He actually gave Steven his first tattoo (an intricate design of Connie's name with an array of decorative strawberries located on the inside of his right bicep). Although very unlike Kat, he only has two piercings, a stub in his lip, and a dangling cross in his left ear. 

Connie can say that she’s rarely seen Devin smile, but then she's also rarely seen him frown. He keeps the same neutral expression regardless of the situation.

It's a bit of a wonder he and Steven are even friends if Connie is being honest.

"Oh dang. What's up, Baby?" He says, seeing her with Kat, and Connie immediately feels insulted again. She has a name and it’s not “baby!” He stands up, and Kat quickly swerves around the pair to make sure they don't lose the table. He gives Connie a once-over with dull eyes, "You're taller."

"I grew," Connie says, annoyed, "We met when I was fifteen, remember?"

"No, not really. So, sorry or whatever," Devin shrugs. That's his default response to most things, "It's cool to see you again, though. Outside of on the background of Stevie's phone, that is."

"It's nice to see you, too," she says, though she's not sure she means it. She knows Devin isn't trying to be rude, he is simply unbothered by things. Maybe that’s the reason Steven likes him. There’s already a lot of high maintenance people in his life. That doesn't mean Connie isn't put off by his indifference, though. She’s honestly not sure which she's more uncomfortable with, Kat being overly-friendly or Devin being almost totally standoffish.

"Guys, sit!" Kat calls at them, and they both turn to look at her. She had somehow managed to find another chair at the table for Connie. She takes it gratefully. Devin takes his seat again as well. Kat grabs Connie’s shoulder in a hug as she offers in that bubbly voice of hers, “I’m getting a drink! You want one?”

“Sure,” Connie says. It’s getting hot in there, and she could use it.

The other girl gives her a hard squeeze then bounds off. Devin follows her with his eyes then turns his attention back to Connie. He leans in close and surprisingly says, “Sorry about Kat. She just likes people. She wants to be everyone’s best friend.”

“I noticed,” Connie replies, loudly enough to be heard over the crowd and music, both of which have gotten louder.

“Usually when we go out, she clings to Stevie,” he explains, “That’s even worse though because all they do is feed each other’s flights of fancy.” He takes a drink then asks, “So how’s your prep for college going?” 

“What?” she asks, surprised by the question.

“Stevie told us you're looking into school for the fall,” he explains, “Just wondering how that’s going for you. It’s probably tough, right? I wouldn’t know. I got my GED as soon as I could and went into the tattoo business.”

Connie doesn’t know what to say to him after that. She didn’t know that Devin had barely gone to high school. She knows very little about Steven’s friends in general yet they all seem to know so much about her. “Oh. It’s going okay, I guess. My applications are all in but I have to put in some volunteer hours to graduate.”

“Right, you're working with his adoptive moms or aunts or something?”

Before Connie can answer, Kat returns, plopping a drink in front of each of their spots as she sits and speaking as if she was already involved in the conversation, “Oh, that reminds me, is it true Stevie grew up in a lesbian commune?”

“ _What?_ ” Connie asks, taken aback. What had Steven told these people?

“He’s always talking about these women who helped raise him!" she explains, “There are like ten of them! What other explanation is there?”

“It’s-” Connie shakes her head, “Gem stuff is complicated.”

“Maybe you’ll tell me after a drink,” Kat teases, picking up their matching cups to hold one out towards Connie. She takes it and humors Kat by knocking the glasses together with her in a “cheers” gesture. 

Then they both take a drink. Connie notices that Kat takes a smaller sip than she does, but doesn’t think much of it. She tries to loosen up and enjoy herself. The atmosphere of the bar isn’t exactly suited for relaxation, but that doesn’t mean it has to be tense. 

It’s a bummer that they're sitting so far from the stage. She tries a few times when Kat isn’t talking her ear off to get Steven’s attention and fails every time. Either the distance or lighting is keeping him from seeing her. He’s probably concentrated on playing. He seems to switch off vocals with Jackie. They even sing two songs together. He’s focused on what he is doing and he’s having fun. That’s fine. They still have a whole week together to look forward to.

Connie doesn’t have to speak much. Kat is as happy to chat as she is to keep buying drinks for Connie and herself. Through their conversation, Connie learns a bit about the members of her boyfriend’s central friend group. 

Jackie is a bartender, while Kat works at a local vegan marketplace (although, like Steven, she is actually a vegetarian, not a vegan) and she helped Steven get a job at the local national park. Kat and Steven apparently met when they got into a small car accident on his way into town and the two spent the next hour insisting on paying for the damage to the other person’s car. Kat and Jackie live in their parents’ old house, which was left to them when they moved out to the Florida Islands for their retirement. Devin volunteers at the local community center with Steven and lives with four other guys, including Eli. Devin and Jackie have just started dating within the last few weeks, even though they met through Steven and Kat several months ago.

Most of it is stories about Steven that Kat thinks Connie will enjoy. Some she’s heard before from him, but others she hasn’t. Devin chimes in every once and a while, too. As expected, both of them practically gush about her boyfriend. People adore Steven, it’s not that surprising. Steven is generous, funny, and charismatic. It’s no mystery how he manages to win people over everywhere he goes. For a long time, it was as if Steven didn’t even know how to talk to people around their age. 

However, it’s clear from how they talk about him that Devin and Kat genuinely like him. He seems to be having a blast on stage with Jackie as well.

Steven has _friends._

She knew that, but it had never really connected in her head the way it does now. These are not people that he is just dealing with for the time being. These aren’t like the people he had casual encounters with that all just ended up as stories he told Connie about. These are people Steven sees and interacts with most days of the week. The same way Connie sees Patricia and Daniel or Peridot and Bismuth.

It occurs to her that these guys see Steven more than she does.

Connie feels saddened by that. She feels hotter, too. The room has been getting louder to her ears and the lights brighter. She has to shake her head to free her eyes of spots a few times, but it hurts her head. The night feels like it’s been both too long and too short. All of a sudden, she really misses Steven and wants to see him. She finds herself practically standing up in her chair to wave at him in one last effort to gain his notice. Connie fails, just like all the times before. She collapses back in her seat with a sigh and notices how awkward her body feels.

“Don’t worry,” Devin assures, “They’re finishing up their set soon."

“Baby!” Kat cries out like it’s important, “We have to dance!”

“What?” Connie asks, unsure if she heard the girl correctly. The nickname still annoys her, but she finds it less bothersome at the moment.

“We have to dance!” she repeats, before downing the rest of her drink, “Come on!”

“Okay,” Connie finds herself agreeing, finishing her own drink. She isn’t sure how one dances to this kind of music, but it sounds fun. That’s why she came out tonight, right? She wanted to have a good time out. She can have fun without Steven for now. Kat is a lot nicer than Connie had first assumed she was. She’s really pretty, too. Connie has a weakness for pretty girls that she’s always kept from Steven. He’s too insecure to be told he’s the only _guy_ she’s ever really been attracted to or interested in, but not the only _person._

So, she lets Kat pull her out of her chair and onto the floor to dance. 

There’s more room as it’s later in the night and people have either left or desperately sought out places to sit. Kat, it seems, is not much of a dancer as her movements are just her flailing only barely in rhythm. She is confident, though. 

Connie laughs as she too starts to move to the beat of the music. Kat gets in her space a lot and Connie finds that she doesn't mind. At some point, they even grab hands to start spinning, which is a favorite pastime of Connie’s with Steven. He’s so close and so far at the same time. The idea puts a funny feeling in her heart. And her head. And her stomach. Mostly her stomach. 

Yeah, her stomach really doesn’t feel good.

“Whoo! That was fun,” Kat cheers after they stop, and Connie tries to get her bearings. She feels wobbly on her feet. She looks around as the room doesn’t seem to want to hold still for her eyes, and that’s not fair. How on Earth is she supposed to walk if the room and her feet don’t behave? She turns to the stage to see the band setting up for yet another song. She sighs, why weren’t they done yet? She wants Steven’s attention!

“Let’s do a couple of shots!” Kat chimes behind her. Connie looks her way quickly. She regrets it as her head feels like it keeps spinning.

“What? Why?” Connie asks, hearing her voice come out louder than she meant for it too.

“Because Stevie is going to steal you away after the band is done!” she explains, playfully, "So you have got to do one shot with me before I need to find a hot girl that I can actually go home with tonight.”

“I don’t drink,” Connie says, shaking her head and realizing she has to stop doing that or she might fall over.

“What?” Kat asks, seeming genuinely confused.

“I don’t drink,” she repeats louder, much louder by mistake.

“You’ve been drinking with me all night,” Kat says, still confused, before horror spreads across her face, “Oh. Oh, no! Baby? Devin!"

Connie suddenly loses track of where she is. She looks around the room for Steven when Devin shows up next to her. Both he and Kat grab her as she stumbles backward. Has she been drinking? Is she drunk now? That can’t be a good thing. She’s never been drunk. Her parents are going to be so mad at her! How did this even happen?

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t think so!”

“What the hell, Kat?”

"I didn't know!"

"She looks bad."

"Is she gonna-"

“Shit, I’m getting Stevie!”

One of her arms is released. She slips out of the other person's grasp and grabs her aching stomach. Everything feels weak and she’s dizzy. The music in the bar stops abruptly, but that just makes everything else around her louder. There are a pair of hands on her back trying to pull her in a different direction but she can’t move at all. She is afraid to take one step. She has to-

“Connie?!”

Connie turns fast again to find herself face to face with Steven. With an erratic lunge forward, she vomits, followed by darkness.

* * *

For Connie it feels as if she hears her boyfriend call her name, throws up, it all goes black, and she wakes up in bed. Logically, things must have happened in-between these situations but as far as she can piece together, anything that occurred after she puked up to the current moment is lost. 

Every part of her is in pain as if her body is angry at the way she chose to treat herself the night before. The worst being a headache unlike any she’s had before. 

The bed she finds herself in is large, with a lot of comfortable pillows and some of the softest blankets and sheets she's ever had on her person. The smell brings to mind all of the best moments in her life. It calms her nerves almost immediately despite the ache in her body. She snuggles into the bed to submerse herself in the natural earthy scent, mixed with an added flowery fragrance.

_It’s Steven._

Connie knows what he smells like in nearly every scenario. She gives herself some time to indulge in it. She’s not sure how long she has been awake before she struggles to roll herself up onto her elbows. Her body fights her, most especially her head. She gets dizzy and the world goes black again for a moment. She steadies herself as best she can, even then spots linger in her eyes. 

She isn’t wearing much. Just a baggy t-shirt over her panties. It’s not her shirt, but one of his, so it's more evidence of him. Though as far as she can tell, she’s alone.

“Morning.” Connie hears and looks around the room. Clarity finds her, finally, and she sees that she is in one big room. The half she occupies has the typical trappings of a bedroom. The bed she is lying in plus two dressers, a bookshelf, two nightstands, and a clothes hamper. She sees a guitar that she recognizes as well. There is a carpet on her half that extends into the bottom portion of the other half.

That half is partially a sitting area, where the carpet continues, and partially a kitchen with an island counter in between them. The kitchen is one long counter with a stove, sink, a few shelves, and a single tall cabinet. Meanwhile, the sitting area is just a couch, a T.V., a record player, and a coffee table. 

A pajama pants-clad Steven is currently at the far end of the counter with a mug in his hand. He is smiling wide with affection as he makes his way over. Setting the mug on the nightstand and leaning over her like a concerned mama bird whose baby fell from out of the nest, he asks her, "Did you sleep well?”

She shakes her head "no" and regrets it. She can barely function and she can’t even fully open her eyes, “I don’t feel so good.”

“Yeah,” he says soothingly as he pushes hair out of her face to tuck back. He took her pigtails out before bed, “I’m guessing that’s because you have a hangover.”

Right. She sinks back into the bed. Steven joins her and pulls her into his arms. She goes with no hesitation. He runs his knuckles gently along her face from her temple to her chin. She sighs happily into him, despite feeling as awful as she does. She was right. This is exactly what she needs right now. 

He puts his hand under her chin and lifts her head up. He swipes his thumb over her lips then leans down to kiss her. On instinct, Connie’s hand comes up and digs into his locks. She deepens their kiss and feels him relax more into the bed with her. His hand falls to her side as all the pain fades from her head. Reluctantly, he pulls away.

“Wow,” he breathes against her mouth, “I missed you.”

She giggles but doesn't get to respond as he presses his mouth to hers again. Not for healing purposes this time around, but out of love. His hand slides along her side to her hip and he is almost on top of her as they kiss passionately. She digs her fingers deeper into his curls while wrapping her arm around his torso, indulging in the feeling of his lips.

"I'm so happy to see you," he mumbles before shifting his lips to her jawline and kissing down to her neck. His hand slides lower and slips under the t-shirt she is wearing-

Suddenly, a thought occurs to her. She breaks away from his hold and pulls the blankets tightly around her as she moves back from him, shyly, “Steven, last night, we didn’t…”

Steven snort laughs, “No, Connie, I didn’t have sex with you when you were too drunk to walk.” He smirks as he presses a kiss to her cheek. “You tried though."

"I did not!"

"You did! You even gave me a hickey." Steven points to the obvious bruise on his neck she had missed earlier. Then as if he only kept it as proof she made a move on him he licks his thumb and rubs the mark away. A blush and sexy smile come to his face as he leans close to her ear to whisper, "It's okay. It was super adorable."

Connie gets embarrassed but is also a bit offended her boyfriend found her coming on to him drunk "adorable" rather than, say, "sexy" or "hot" or something. She shifts further away from him. She wonders how exactly she behaved in her drunken state. Trying to avoid his gaze, she takes another look around the room. She notices this time that there are partially filled boxes scattered around and a framed picture of the couple sits next to the mug he set down. Everything new she sees paints this place in more mystery rather than answers any questions. Though, it probably doesn’t help that she was disorientated, earlier.

"Where are we, anyway?" she asks, turning back to Steven.

"Oh, right!" He perks up, "I didn't get to tell you last night!"

He shifts to his knees in the bed, "Welcome to-" he does a drum roll noise then holds his hands out in presentation. "My new apartment!"

"Your _what?!"_ Connie asks, sitting up fully to look around the studio apartment again. She suddenly feels much more awake. Yet, another glance at the space shows her the obvious signs Steven is the person who lives here. From the posters on the walls to his shirts piled in the hamper to pictures of his travels and people, he cares about displayed on every free surface available. It’s all Steven’s stuff or the way Steven would choose to decorate his space.

"You got an apartment?!" she asks, even though he just said it.

"Yeah! Well, it's just this room and the bathroom…" Steven scratches at his growing beard with one finger, "But it's still pretty cool, right?"

"Sure. It is," Connie says. He looks so proud and excited to show it off to her. As he should be. It's a big step and she is happy for him but something nags at her mind, "I didn't know you were moving here."

"Well, I didn't know I was moving here until about a month ago."

"A month?" She makes an attempt not to snap at him but fails, "You've been keeping this from me for an entire month?!"

"I wanted to surprise you," Steven says, his smile dropping into a frown, "I thought you would be proud of me."

Connie feels guilty after he says that. He looks so heartbroken. Steven is sensitive and he has never quite recovered from her rejection of his proposal at sixteen. He still loves to surprise her, but he doesn’t handle negative responses to those surprises well. She takes his hand in hers. "I'm sorry. Of course I'm proud of you, this is really mature."

She takes a deep breath, "I'm just a little caught off-guard by it. That’s all. You usually talk to me about this stuff."

"I know," Steven blushes as he confesses, "I guess I just wanted to impress you."

"I am impressed! This is really cool, Steven!" Connie reassures him, then explains, "I just wasn't prepared for it. I didn't even know you were ready to settle down anywhere."

He shrugs. He does that a lot more now, and for the first time, Connie wonders if he's picked it up from his time with Devin. Steven can be impressionable. "I didn’t know, either. But I really like it here. I have so many new friends! I love the band! My job is fun and the community center is always doing cool events. The people are nice! The town is nice! It’s pretty here too! Did you know you can see snow on the mountains from the beach! How cool is that? I’ll show you later this week! You’ll love it!

“I’m having a good time,” Steven slides down in the bed, his bed, until he appears comfortable, "I’ve been here for over seven months now. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed anywhere for that long, but I don’t want to leave. And so I decided to just stay. At least for a little longer."

“That’s great,” she says. She does think it’s great. Even though the bottom has dropped out of her stomach, Connie loves Steven enough to be happy that he’s happy. 

Steven looks happy. Although, from the way he is staring at her, she suspects that has more to do with her company than his new living arrangements. He looks handsome too, laying in bed with his hair still messy from sleep in just his pajama pants. He has the cutest smile she’s ever seen with eyes that sparkle. He’s a heavy-set guy but she’s actually always liked his wide chest and thick arms. 

It took him time to start growing body and facial hair, but he finally has. So, in addition to the beard he is growing, hair trails from his chest down his stomach to his pelvis. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to remind Connie that Steven isn't a little boy anymore.

She certainly doesn’t hate it either.

Running her fingers through her hair with hooded eyes, she drops back into the bed with him. She shifts into his personal space before she switches to stroking her fingers down his torso towards his gem. She circles her fingers around the stone in a teasing motion as she brings her mouth to his again. Their lips meet as they reach for each other. Their limbs entangle as they kiss and soon, Steven has her pinned below him. Connie remembers that this is exactly why she came, to get lost in the young love she shares with Steven for a few days.

Steven pulls back and shifts to plant a kiss against her forehead, "It's so amazing that you're here. I can't believe you came out to see me!"

"You knew I was coming?" she giggles, but she sees Steven's smile fall for a moment before it's replaced with a nervous one and a blush.

"Right! You said you were going to come." He scratches his growing beard with his finger again.

Connie feels her heart break a little when he says it. What did that mean?

She ignores it in favor of enjoying her time with him while she can. She rolls over until she is laying on top of him and flirtatiously, she says, "You know what I want to do?"

"What's that?" he giggles, wrapping her up in his arms.

She leans up to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth, "To spend all day in bed with the best boyfriend in the world."

Steven doesn't give her a look she hopes that suggestion would evoke. Instead, his face morphs into an awkward expression as he says, "Yeah, about that…" 

"What?"

"I sort of have plans today…"

"What plans?"

"Well, I thought you weren't coming for another couple days," he explains, "So Devin and I are taking the kids down at the community center to the skate park today."

"Oh," she sighs, leaning off of him.

"Yeah," he sits up, "If I don't go, he can't take them. They need two adults to go to stay in ratio. It's a legal thing."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"Are you okay? I could cancel if you want. We can always take the kids another day."

"No, of course not!" she hurries to say. She is disappointed, but she doesn't want to be selfish, "You made a commitment to them and they're probably really looking forward to it."

"They are!" he says with pride, "It's going to be so much fun taking them somewhere other than the back parking lot to practice."

Steven genuinely looks excited about it, and it makes Connie excited for him. In more recent years, Steven has found that much like animals, he has a talent with kids. They adore him, and he knows how to speak to them on their level. She knows that he'll be an amazing dad when the time for that comes.

That thought makes her blush, even though she didn't say it out loud. She blames Mr. Universe for putting ideas like that inside of her head to begin with.

"I guess I'll just-" Connie looks around the room to assess how she can keep herself busy while he’s gone, "-find something to do here."

"Actually," Steven says as he rolls away from her and out of bed. Connie takes the opportunity to admire his back while he walks to his dresser, “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind going out with Jackie. She has something important to get done. Devin is going with me and Kat has to work, so she’s going to be on her own.”

“You want me to spend the day out with your friend?” she asks, reminding herself it isn’t weird to check out her boyfriend when he drops his pajama pants so he can dress for the day. It’s harder to focus on his words at the sight of him naked, though, that much she will admit.

“Only if you don’t mind,” he says, pulling on a pair of boxers. She wonders if he is trying to be sexy on purpose in hopes of convincing her as he doesn’t put on jeans or a shirt before heading to the bathroom. This leaves all of his own tattoos on display, something he knows Connie likes.

“Oh no, I don’t mind,” she lies, trying to speak over the sound of running water, “But I’m not sure I’m going to be the best company. It might be better if I just stay here instead. I mean, we barely know each other."

That’s an understatement. If Connie met Jackie last night, it was after she blacked out, so she has no memory of the girl at all. She only knows her through the few moments she’s seen the woman through video chats with Steven, and the time she spent on stage the night before. She might have felt a little more comfortable with the idea were it Kat, whom she had at least started to become comfortable around. She has no clue what to expect from Jackie.

“Jackie is super cool,” Steven assures her as he leaves the bathroom and still doesn’t cover up before leaning over the bed to kiss her. He smirks, “Besides if you hang out in my bed all day in nothing but your underwear, I’m not going to be able to think about anything else. I have to keep an eye on the kids. You wouldn’t want to put them in danger, would you?”

Connie giggles, putting her hands to his cheeks to hold his face and lay a few kisses on his lips, “Okay, fine. But only for the kids.”

"Great! Let's get ready!" Steven gives her one last kiss before he spins around and puts more clothes on. It’s not strange that he wants to keep her entertained while he’s busy. She doesn’t understand why that has to include his friend, though. She doesn’t want to refuse and come off as rude. These people have to be in some way important to Steven or he wouldn’t spend as much time with them as he does. The least she can do is humor him and try to get along with them, for his sake if for nothing else.

Once Connie and Steven are dressed and fed, they head out in the Dondai to meet up with his friends. Steven spends the ride pointing places out to her. Places he likes to eat and shop or places that he plays with his band. He tells her a few stories as they go along, too. He barely watches the road as he drives, because it’s all on instinct. He’s taken this drive enough times to know it, and know it well. He has the stoplights timed and the turns memorized. It reminds her that he has a life here. It's unknown to her, but to Steven, it’s his new backyard.

It makes her sit up, strangely rigid in her seat.

When they reach the community center, Connie sees Jackie watching Devin with a few boys who are probably around twelve. She has a smile on her face and an affection in her eyes that is all too familiar to Connie. Being related to Kat, Jackie physically looks similar, except taller and skinnier. Her style is much like her sister as well, but while Kat was fiery in tone, Jackie’s look is absent of color. Her hair is long, straightened, and black. She has on a hoodie, a t-shirt, jeans, a beanie, and combat boots, all of which are black. She has piercings and tattoos like Steven's other friends, though less from what Connie can see. She can only see one tattoo on her neck and counts only four piercings in total; one in each ear, one in her eyebrow, and one in her nose. Physically, Jackie looks like Kat, however, in demeanor, she seems more like her boyfriend, Devin.

Case in point, once both guys kiss their respective girlfriends goodbye and head off with the group of kids, Jackie greets Connie with a simple and dull, "Hey, Baby."

"Hey," Connie sighs, looking around Jackie at the van Devin and Steven are loading the kids into. Connie has the keys to the Dondai for whatever "adventure" this girl is about to take her on.

"You ready to head out?"

"Yeah, just let me know where we're going."

"I'll give you the address when we get into the car."

Jackie hooks her arm with Connie's when she walks past so they end up walking arm and arm together. It's less abrasive than with Kat, making it easier for Connie to accept. The two girls walk together to Steven's car.

Once there, Jackie gives Connie directions and they make a quiet drive. Surprisingly, the place they end up is a library. At first, Connie fears Steven's friend is playing a joke on her, implying she’s a loser who is only interested in school, so she must want to hang out at the library, right?

Jackie makes no such comment however, instead she just smiles Connie's way and says, "Thanks, Baby. Stevie offered to come along with me but that felt a bit like the blind leading the blind."

"Yeah, no problem," Connie responds as though she understands what she means. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, my first entrance exam is in about three weeks," Jackie explains, leading her through the shelves and pulling out books, "and I have no idea if I'm even doing this school stuff right. I was hoping we could go over some stuff together."

"You want to go to college?" Connie asks, ashamed at the amount of shock her voice lets out. Jackie has often teased Connie in the past about her scholarly ambitions in passing whenever she has overheard conversation between Connie and Steven.

Jackie looks embarrassed, "No, not quite. I'm trying to get into trade school. I want to go into computer tech. Bartending and music aren't exactly paying the bills and Kat doesn't bring in much money, either."

"Oh, that makes sense," Connie says as they head to a table together with some amount of privacy.

"Yeah, I've always liked computers, too, so it was Stevie's idea that I do something in the field, never been much of a teacher’s pet, though, if that's not clear," Jackie sounds a bit embarrassed. 

Connie feels a stab of sympathy for her and seeing as academia is her expertise, decides to give her a hand, "That's fine. My parents have been drilling study techniques into my head since I said my first word! I'll have you ready for your test in no time!"

Jackie laughs lightly, "Wow, I appreciate the confidence, Baby! Okay, let's get to it!"

One would think that the very last thing Connie would want to do on vacation is any type of school work. However, as the months have wound down, high school has lost most of its challenge. Crunch time is basically over and most seniors are just meandering towards graduation. They all keep up with their work but the workloads have gotten lighter. Extracurriculars are still going on and, of course, many of them have volunteer hours to finish up with, but there is less actual schooling involved in Connie's school life these days and it's not something she is used to or enjoys.

Helping Jackie study for what seems to be a pretty simple reading and math based entrance exam puts her into her element and it's a familiar sense of accomplishment when they're done. The afternoon flies by with more comfort and ease than the night at the bar.

"Wow, you have got some serious brains," Jackie says as they pack the books away.

"Thanks!" Connie answers as they complete their clean-up.

"Though I'm not too surprised," she adds as they head for the door, "That boyfriend of yours is always calling you a genius."

"Yeah," Connie sighs with affection and disbelief at the ridiculous height of Steven's pride in her. "He does that. A lot."

"He adores you," Jackie says with a shrug then she gets a lovestruck look of her own, "It's nice to be in love with someone else. Isn't it?"

"Definitely," Connie agrees, remembering that Jackie is newly coupled up herself, "I'm happy for you and Devin, by the way."

"Thanks," she answers with a big smile, "He's my first boyfriend since I came out. Most dudes are scared of my third leg."

"Huh? What?" Connie asks in confusion, but Jackie just waves the question off.

"We're not like you and Stevie, though," Jackie continues, as they get into the car, "You two are like high school sweethearts or something, right?"

"Kind of," Connie answers as Jackie gets out her phone. "We've been together since we were young, I guess."

"When?" she asks, typing away. She didn't look up, but her interest sounds genuine so Connie answers.

"I met Steven when I was twelve."

"Oh, damn. I didn't even know I liked boys when I was twelve. So Stevie was…"

"He wasn't quite fourteen yet," she says as she tries to find her way to where they are meant to meet up with the guys to trade-off Jackie for Steven.

"Oh, so you like older men then, Baby?" Jackie teases, but this time it's one Connie is used to.

"I like… Steven," she says. It's cautious for a reason she can't name. It's odd because she does like Steven.

"I get it," the other girl answers, "You two have the whole "suburban marriage with a white picket fence, raising your three kids and a dog" thing planned out already."

"No, we don't," Connie says with a snap that she doesn't expect. Something about the words upset her, "Steven and I aren't planning anything! Not getting married and certainly not having kids! I have my entire life ahead of me! I'm only eighteen!"

Connie sits back in the driver's seat and shifts the gear harder than she needs to on the next turn. This trip is supposed to be a stress reliever. She is trying to get away from her problems and yet new ones just seemed to have followed her there.

"Whoa girl," the other girl says in a calm, parental voice, "I didn't mean right now or anything like that. I just meant- Stevie is super into you. I mean, I hope Devin talks about me with people the way Stevie talks about you. Sorry, I just assumed that you two were on the same page."

"We are!" Connie argues.

"Okay," Jackie agrees though it doesn't reach her eyes. After she clears her throat, "Anyway, the guys want to take us to an early dinner. Heads up, it’s probably going to be someplace healthy."

Connie sighs, choosing to let the topic go, "Yeah, just give me the directions."

Connie and Steven end up spending most of the evening with Devin and Jackie. It’s strange, as Connie realizes half-way through their dinner it's the first double date the couple has been on. They have gone out with Patricia and Daniel before but seeing as those two are the definition of gay and lesbian solidarity, Connie feels pretty sure that doesn't count.

The place isn’t fancy, and it’s early in the night, so the affair is casual enough. Connie gets the impression the three of them had been there before, seeing as Jackie whines loudly about wanting fatty, greasy food instead the second they walk in the door. Devin slings an arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple with no other response. When she complains again, he simply shrugs and pulls her in closer. 

Connie only takes note of the exchange because almost as if he feels obligated, Steven also puts his arm around Connie. As a couple they often hold hands, it’s a fairly innocent (though still intimate) gesture. They’re never shy about P.D.A when it comes to kissing, either, but Steven has rarely been the type to wrap a protective arm around her as they walk places. The move is often seen as being somewhat possessive and Steven isn’t that kind of guy. So, the fact that he slips an arm around her back to hold her hip and pull her against his body stands out. It feels so adult to be touched like that as opposed to their usual hand-holding.

Everything about their impromptu double date is weirdly mature to Connie. Starting with the fact that having dinner out with friends on a Monday night isn’t something high schoolers usually do. The fact that no one has parents to check in with or any homework to worry about means there is no rush. They can just relax and laugh and enjoy the company. No one talks about teachers or tests, though complaints about work did pop up from time to time. The way that Devin and Steven talk about the young teens they’d spent their day with conveys a difference in maturity. They see themselves as adults and the others as children despite some being in high school, much like Connie. When the bill comes, they talk about splitting it and leaving a tip without anyone pulling out allowance money in wads of cash.

Connie doesn’t want to admit that as much as fun as it is, it makes her uncomfortable.

Though what she will admit to is that Connie doesn’t love the way Kat all but tackles Steven onto the ground in a hug when she joins the two couples after their dinner. She is warming up to the other girl, but not that much. Connie assumes their night out is going to be over soon and is looking forward to time alone with Steven. That’s not the case, however.

“Eli says that he and Nathan are throwing a party last minute for Cassidy’s birthday if you guys want to come over to our place tonight,” Devin informs them all as they stand in the parking lot near Steven’s Dondai and Jackie and Kat’s Ladybug, seemingly unconcerned that his roommates didn’t ask his opinion on having a party, “I know we just ate, but there will probably be cake, and there will definitely be alcohol.”

“I heard the magic word!” Kat says in a sing-song voice.

“You did not,” Jackie snaps back, “You’re not drinking tonight!”

“But Stevie is DD!” Kat whines, pointing at him with a childish pout.

“Stevie has company, he does not need to spend his night chasing your drunk ass around!”

“But you’re gonna start making out with Devin as soon as we get there! What am I supposed to do all night?”

“Be sober when you sleep with whichever one of our friends you haven’t already?” Devin interrupts suddenly to tease.

Steven laughs as Jackie adds, “That doesn’t leave her a lot of people.”

“Fuck both of you,” she bites back, although it’s playful.

“Okay, guys,” Steven steps in-between the sisters with a smile. “Let’s all try to get along tonight and not spend the entire time making fun of each other."

"Or what?" Devin asks, "You'll ground us?"

"Yeah, _Stevie?"_ Kat adds putting a new, mocking emphasis on the nickname. "Are you going to send us to our rooms?"

Steven sighs, annoyed, and looks back at Connie while shaking his head. Then, he turns back to his friend and says, “A party is about more than drinking. Devin, didn’t you just get your pool cleaned out for the summer?”

“Yeah, it’ll be good for as long as no one trashes it.”

“Awesome!” Steven responds, “Well, there you go. You can’t drink in the pool, Kat. So it looks like we’re both taking it easy tonight!”

“Fine,” Kat sighs, “But if you don’t get in the water with me, then I’m doing a keg stand!”

“Of course I’m going to go in with you!” Steven laughs as he puts his hands on Kat’s shoulders. Connie is surprised by that. He just agreed to go to the party tonight. She wonders for a moment if he’s forgotten her presence but he turns to her to say, “It sounds like fun, right?”

“Yeah, sure,” she answers with a nod. She would much rather they go back to Steven’s place for the rest of the night, just the two of them. Connie hasn’t gotten to be alone with Steven for more than a few minutes since she got there. At this point, she feels like she has spent more time with his friends than with him.

It’s just one more night, though, and Steven seems as if he wants to go. So, the group piles into the two cars and heads for Devin’s place. Connie doesn’t even get to ride alone with Steven as Devin tags along with them since the Dondai has more room. It doesn’t take them long to get to the two-story house. When they show up, a modest amount of people are there. It doesn’t appear to be a rager or an out of control college party. There is music and people are having a good time, but it feels relaxed and low-key. 

Honestly, everything about Steven’s life feels relaxed, as if stress is a foreign concept to the people he spends his time with. It’s quite the contrast to the people Connie spends her time with. Everyone she knows is on some strict schedule while everyone Steven knows appears to live life moment to moment. 

Connie understands why it appeals to Steven, whose young life was dominated so heavily by stress and expectations, but it’s not her comfort zone. She’s not sure she could function this way. Especially as she isn’t sure how to react to Steven in this environment.

It’s not that Steven is different around his friends. He’s the same guy he has always been. Rather, it’s as if aspects of his personality he doesn’t express as much come out. Steven has always been playful, but she's surprised to hear him openly tease Devin and Jackie about how quickly they disappear into Devin's room. She isn't used to him playing up his childish nature like he did when they were younger, so when Kat asks him to jump in the pool while they're both still clothed Connie isn't sure how to take him abandoning his beer (because apparently, he drinks now) to chase after his friend. He tries to get her to come with them but she can't bring herself to. Even with Steven there, she feels so out of place.

So she watches as her boyfriend runs off in a giggly mess with a different girl. It's not like that. She doesn't get the sense that Kat wants Steven in any way other than friendship. If anything, it seems like Kat would rather hook-up with Connie. So it isn't romantic jealousy. Connie simply doesn't like seeing him so comfortable with other people.

Does that make Connie a bad person? She has been Steven's tie to his humanity for as long as they have known each other. It's not something either had put onto her intentionally, but it had happened anyway. Their relationship has gone through many transformations over the years, including the shift into romance. There has never been a time when Steven hasn't in some capacity needed Connie. She and Steven are partners, always have been. They give each other something that no one else can. 

Except now, other people can give him some of those things. Other people do give him a sense of security, belonging, friendship, acceptance, and humanity.

Connie feels a little left behind.

"Connie?!" he asks, sounding panicked and out of breath. She is sitting on the hood of the Dondai when Steven finds her. "Here you are! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ditch you! I was just-"

"It's okay, Steven," she says, holding a hand up to stop him from continuing, "I'm not upset. I just wanted some quiet."

"Oh, good," Steven sighs out in relief. He still looks wet, but he’s done a decent job of drying off. He looks around the area before he joins her on the hood of his car, "I guess the guys can get a little rowdy sometimes."

"Honestly, it's pretty calm," she assures, "I just don't feel like being around people right now."

"Oh," he says, "You want to head back to my place then? We can go after I say 'bye' to Kat. She and Jackie are just going to end up sleeping here anyway."

She kind of hates how easy that was. She wants it to be a fight. She wants him to be upset or annoyed that she's making him leave the party early. Even though she knows that he'd never feel that way, he would never behave that way. She can't properly comprehend how mature Steven has become. Which is silly. He's always been mature. 

"Yeah, I would like that, actually."

“Alright, let’s find her and then get out of here.” 

Steven leads Connie back into the party putting his arm around her in the same way he did earlier. The couple tracks down Kat for a 'goodbye.' She is as friendly as any other time Connie has seen her, going so far as to wrap each of them in one of her arms for a three-way hug. She insists on seeing Connie again and won't let them leave until the girl gives up her phone number. Connie is reluctant but eventually complies. Then, she and Steven head back to his apartment.

When they enter his studio together, Connie feels like it’s been the longest twenty-four hours of her life. She isn’t sure if she’s tired or just burnt out from socializing. All she knows is that she is happy to be somewhere that reminds her of Steven. It is the closest thing to a familiar comfort she has so far from home. 

She kicks off her shoes, shrugs off her jacket, and falls to his couch with an ungraceful flop, throwing her arm over her eyes. She tries not to let her mind wander the way it always does when she is alone. She doesn’t have to worry though. She isn’t alone very long.

“Hey.” The word is suggestive. More so than she is used to. Connie hears and _feels_ him before she actually sees him. The extra weight on her pelvis and stomach surprises her as Steven lays down on top of her. She finally removes her arm from her eyes when his chest presses against her chest. Steven’s face is level with hers and his head is tilted to one side as he gazes down at her with a smirk.

“Hi,” she says, far more shy than she expects. Why does it feel like something thick is caught in her throat? She feels like she can’t swallow. It’s far from the first time Connie has been pinned beneath Steven. She was underneath him that morning. That was different though. That was so very different. Because this morning they were still two kids in love.

Now it occurs to her, Steven is _a man._

“This is all so weird,” she says suddenly, shifting back a bit from under him.

“Huh?” he asks, letting her move with his expression unchanging, “What is?”

Leaning against the arm of his couch, she gestures around the room, “This! All of this!”

Steven looks around then back at her curiously, “My apartment?”

“The apartment,” she confirms, “And the job and the band. You volunteering and having friends.”

“What’s weird about it?” he asks with his chin on her stomach. She can see desire in his eyes but he’s not pushing her for anything. He’s content to just enjoy her being there with him.

"It's just, I don't know,” she shrugs then sighs, “You're such an adult!"

"Yeah, I guess,” he responds and also shrugs, “But I've been taking care of myself for years."

"I know, but no more hotels and rest stops,” she starts to play with the back curls of his hair, “You have your own place. That's different!"

"Wait,” he asks, getting up on his elbows and crawling closer to her. On instinct, she leans back in some form of submission that’s never been present in their relationship, “Do you… like this?"

"Of course not!” Connie snaps after a second, realizing what he is asking and feeling herself blush at the idea, “I'm just proud of you!"

"You do!” he says with a cocky laugh, “You're super attracted to me right now!"

"I'm always attracted to you!” Connie defends, crawling even further away but can’t go too far due to the end of the couch. “You're my boyfriend!"

"Right,” Steven teases, crawling after her and keeping her there, “I pay my own bills, you know, with my own money.”

“Ooh, really?” she says in a pretend swoon, though there's more sincerity in it than she is comfortable with.

“Yeah, I have health insurance, too and I get a lot of benefits through my job,” he brags, “I even opened my own bank account!”

“Wow, impressive, Universe,” she coos, again with more genuine intention than she means to put there.

"Wanna see it?" Steven teases in a sexy tone, his mouth barely an inch away from her mouth.

“Oh yes,” Connie deadpans instead, putting both hands on his chest to push him back from her, “Talk responsibility to me.”

Steven laughs as she pulls her legs out from under him and swings them off the couch to stand. He lays down on his side in her place and she can feel him watching her closely as she tries to figure out what she plans to do now. She chooses to change and for the first time in a long time, she is embarrassed to undress in front of Steven. So she gathers her pajamas and heads into his tiny bathroom with a quick, “Be right back.”

“Okay,” she hears before she closes the door to the room. She changes quickly because she is aware of how silly she is being. Steven is the same person now he was that morning. He’s been the same person he has always been all day. It’s not Steven. It’s everything else that is different.

When she leaves the bathroom, he is sitting on the couch still but now in his own pajamas and fiddling around with his guitar. He doesn’t seem to be playing a song as much as he is sitting with his tongue stuck out in concentration as he messes with the strings. He’s shirtless, looking comfortable and content. She feels like she hasn’t seen him this peaceful since they met and life wasn’t so complicated. Feeling a strong desire for him, she wanders over to sit with him and listen to him play. When they were kids, they used to play together sometimes. She wishes that she had brought her violin so they could play together now. Instead, she just listens to him and enjoys his company.

“It’s weird, seeing that you have a whole life here,” Connie finally explains to him during a lull in his guitar strums.

“Huh?” he asks, “What do you mean?”

Connie sighs as she twists and sinks into the couch, “You have a lot going on, Steven. You’re so settled down and so mature and so…” she takes a pause then softly she ventures, “…happy…”

Steven nods, “I am happy.”

Connie sighs, “How did you grow up so fast?”

“I’m not any more grown up than you,” he laughs.

“Yes, you are,” she says, insistently, “You have this all figured out.”

“What do I have figured out?”

“Life.”

Steven puts his guitar down and shifts closer to her in concern, “Do you feel like you don’t have your life figured out?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, then thinks for a moment, “I think I used to. I used to know exactly what my life was going to be like. I have a whole five-year plan.”

“Yeah, I know,” he laughs, “Take as many AP courses as possible so you can graduate college a semester early, then go to law school, double up with an internship over summer to graduate with a law degree early, secondary internship, entry-level job in the local political scene. Plan for the next five years.”

“Okay, smart-aleck,” she giggles, lifting her foot to playfully push his chest back. He grabs hold of her ankle and uses it to drag her legs into his lap. Her head is now against the opposite arm of the couch and he starts to rub her feet while she talks. He’s a sweetheart like that, and she is sure is going to burst from feeling loved. “Okay, maybe I do have some of that stuff figured out, but there's more to life than just… that.”

“Yeah, I know,” he confirms, looking a little sad, “Trust me, I do.”

“Steven,” she admits, quietly, “I’m not sure- I don’t know if I’m happy.”

“What?” His hands freeze and she’s confused until she sees how he may have misread that.

“Oh! No, no,” she quickly corrects, “I don’t mean with you! Of course I’m happy we’re together. I’m talking about life in general, not you and me. You might be the only thing in life that I’m sure I’m happy about right now.”

“Oh, okay. Uh, that’s good," Steven's shoulders relax but he doesn’t look less sad, "Why don’t you think you’re happy?”

Not sure how else to describe it, she explains, “Because my life doesn’t look like yours. At all.”

“Well, what would make you happy?” he asks her, continuing to massage her ankles, then up her legs.

“I don’t think I know,” she sighs.

“You’ll figure it out,” he reassures as his hands continue to mark a path up her body, gaining a new meaning as he does it, “You’re so smart, Connie. You got this! And I’m here whenever you need me.”

“Thanks, Steven,” she hums then finds her eyes trailing over his body as his hands get close to her hips. Flirtatiously, she says, “Actually, there might be something I need you for right now.”

Steven meets her eyes at the tone he hears in her voice, and slowly, a blush and smirk come to his face, “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really,” she says, feeling strangely _girlish_ under his gaze as she bites her lip.

“I think I can guess what you mean,” he responds and she notices the way his hands slid from her hips to her arms to pull her up so she sits in his lap.

“Oh yeah?” she teases quietly once her lips are almost touching his own.

“Yeah,” he answers with a low, sexy charm in his tone. A second later their lips meet, his hands find a familiar place on her lower back as her hands circle his neck. They peck kisses along each other’s lips at a soft, slow, and indulgent pace. It doesn’t stay that way for too long. Soon, Steven deepens the kiss.

His tongue pushes for entry and she grants it with no hesitation. Her fingers dig up into his locks as his hands press her firmly to his body. There isn’t much difference to their height, so her being in his lap puts her above him, and yet it still feels so much more like he is in control of them making out. She’s fine with that. It's been a hard, stressful couple of weeks and she is more than happy to let her boyfriend kiss her hurt away. She isn’t sure if the easing of pressure to her mind is from his emotional support, or if Steven’s healing powers have grown to the point of curing ailments that aren’t physical in nature. 

Connie doesn’t care, because either way, him kissing her is bringing her the relief she has desperately craved. She wants nothing more than to stay in this moment and to kiss Steven Universe until pain and stress seem like distant memories of impossible feelings.

Steven, however, has other plans.

Connie is forced to her feet when Steven stands. Their kiss is broken, but his hands stay firmly on her back. They are eye to eye and she sees the want in his gaze. There is still something so very shocking about lust and desire in eyes as innocent as Steven’s dark brown ones. It’s only ever been for her, though. He’s never looked at anyone else this way, and she also knows that he never will.

He kisses her again and the force pushes her back. He takes a step forward and so she takes one backwards. With his hands on her hips and his mouth pushing her with passion, she feels like she has no choice but to let him walk her backward. He leads her through his apartment towards the exact place she knows he wants her most.

_His bed._

The idea makes her trip on her own feet and Steven catches her in his arms. Their kiss breaks and she regains her footing with his support. Rather than say anything, Steven's mouth falls to her neck. She feels ridiculous. She and Steven have had sex before. They’ve been having sex for months at this point. Yet, something about this time feels new. That doesn’t make her not want it. She wants him more than she ever has if she’s being completely honest with herself. That’s part of what scares her about it.

Connie has never wanted Steven as much as she does at this moment. Not even the first time.

“Connie, I know it won’t fix anything,” Steven whispers after kissing his way to her ear, “But, just for tonight, could I try to make you feel good?”

“Yes, please,” she whispers back, as her hands circle his neck and her lips find his once more.

“Okay,” he murmurs, smirking against her mouth. Steven leans down and before Connie knows that it’s happening, he’s scooped her up into his arms, hands under her thighs as she wraps her legs around his torso. She giggles against his mouth, indulging in this moment with him and thinking of nothing else. She trails kisses to his neck as he carries her to his bed for the night.

Connie decides for this week, or maybe just this one night, she is going to let herself be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got to have some Connverse as a treat!


	9. Hour 051: The Grief of Pride and Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie finally Knowing the problem is half of the solution but that doesn't mean finding the other half is going to be easy. Good thing she isn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only chapter that is NOT in Connie's POV. There is a reason for that which I feel will be apparent once you get through to the end. Also shoutout to my lovely friend Ramen (KahanniAlone) who is a wonderful beta and without whom this chapter would not exist as it was their suggestion.

Lion has lived an interesting and complex life, probably more interesting and more complex than any living creature has any right to live. He has been living said life for many a century. Probably more than others would guess. One long life lived in two distinct parts. In that time he had seen so many fascinating things.

Yet none of them caught his interest quite like Connie Maheswaran did.

Lion had met the young girl through his boy, a boy who has grown now into a man that Lion is proud of. He is proud of the woman Connie is becoming too. Perhaps more so, perhaps in a way he has never felt pride for anything. He has only one child and that child is, and will always be Steven. Yet despite this, the feline has found himself raising Connie in part as well. He dotes on her and spends time with her because she deserves it. There is a light in her that he respects, that he cherishes.

There is something special about Connie.

Lion can relate in many ways to the constriction Connie knows in her life. He resonates with the limitation she feels. Freedom is all Lion has and all Lion knows. He can see that it is all Connie truly craves, as well. She sits herself at her desk and buries her face in her books but Lion can see into her heart. He can see the way her eyes drift to the window and the way her smile fades after too many hours at school.

Connie tries to be domesticated because it is what the world expects of her, but she is wild. Like him. Like he always was unable to be confined.

She is more a wild child than the one she fell in love with could ever hope to be. Adventure is in Connie’s very core and soul. Steven merely helps bring it out of her. They’re all one in the same. Lion, Steven, and Connie. They fit into the world in a way that others don’t understand or maybe in a way they can’t understand.

Lion likes children. He is fond of Onion. But he only loves two. Connie and Steven.

This is why, despite how he wonders if she is pushing herself or if it’s even truly what she wants, Lion continues to dutifully take Connie to Little Homeschool every week. He carries her there before her shift, anxious to get to work and back home, exhausted and drained at the end of each of her days. She has climbed onto his back many times in need of rest and healing tears Lion can no longer provide for her. Though he wishes that he could gift that to her. He wishes that he could give so much to so many who need it. 

The best he can do right now for Connie is be there with her. Make sure she knows that she is not truly alone in the world. No matter how often she feels that is the case with her lover so far. Lion knows what it's like to be alone and kept away from love.

At times, Lion wishes he could work with Connie. He’s not a fan of doing anything he doesn’t necessarily have to, however. He prefers his right to wander and enjoy life. To eat whatever it is he pleases, sleep wherever it is he wants to, and do whatever it is he likes. It makes him sad that Connie so desperately wants the same and is so often denied it. She belongs in a cage as much as he does. 

That is to say, not at all.

He fancies himself her friend and trusted companion, though. So, he stays with her one chilly day in spring as she walks to the center of Little Homeworld. He can see the shine in her is duller than it is on an average day. He had hoped a week with his son would lift her spirits, but even if it had done so, that joy has worn off. Now she seems even more forlorn and lost than she was before her little vacation. 

Lion’s heart aches for her. He wishes for a voice to ask her what is wrong.

Instead, he walks by her side so she feels less alone as they make their way to see Pearl again. Lion has found a way to be comfortable with Pearl in these more recent years. In general, though, Lion tries to keep a distance from the Crystal Gems and Greg and anyone that reminds him of a life left behind but unfortunately not forgotten. That may be part of why Lion enjoys the company of Connie. Nothing ties her to things Lion would rather leave in a different time and place that is better off not mentioned. Even Steven isn't safe from that association.

Pearl looks good, though. Happy. Loved. Full of confidence. Lion is grateful for that.

The woman and Gem share conversation when they meet and he lingers near them, lounging. Something tells him to stay close by this time. An animal or gem or maternal instinct gives him pause and makes him want to be there for Connie.

He isn’t listening to what the two have to say but their voices make it sound important. The look on Connie’s face finally gives him worry. He decides to tune in to what is being discussed. Standing back to his feet, he wanders over to Pearl and Connie to hear what it is they are trying to say.

“I’m so sorry, Connie,” Pearl says with a hand to her head, clearly stressed. “We’ve just been trying to sort this out all morning and I completely lost track of the time!”

“It’s fine,” Connie assures, ever her self-sacrificing self. She hides her heartbreak well, “This is important, Pearl. Much more important than scheduling my volunteer hours. I understand.”

“I’m not even sure we have anyone we can send right now,” Pearl continues, clearly distracted by her own thoughts. Lion feels frustrated. Pearl can be so singularly focused at times and will miss what’s right in front of her face. Connie is hurting and Pearl cannot see it. Blindness to reality was always a flaw Pearl shared with Rose. They foolishly lived in fantasy and never faced that which they needed to. To this day it’s still something Lion feels shame over. Dying but still living gives one a new perspective on life.

Lion moves forward and tucks his head under Connie’s arm. In habit, she lifts her arm to wrap along his mane and looks his way. Connie hugs him to her because she needs it. She loves to feel loved and touch is the quickest way to convey that for her. Lion knows this and is determined to be there for her. She smiles at him as she holds him. She cuddles his hair and light comes to her face again. When she pulls back, her face is thinking. Soon a smile replaces the frown she has carried all day.

“We could go,” Connie suggests to Pearl, facing the Gem again, Lion's cheeks now in Connie's hands. This forces Lion to look at Pearl as well.

“What?” Pearl asks, giving Connie her attention. She looks between the girl and Lion, seemingly confused at the suggestion. A moment later, she understands what Connie is offering. Her face shifts to an expression of thought instead.

Though it’s needless, Connie still explains, “Lion and I could go! You don’t have me scheduled for anything else today and you need someone to head out that way. It solves both our problems.”

“I suppose it does,” Pearl says cautiously, “I’ve tried to keep most of your duties relegated to Little Homeschool, however, this isn’t a school issue as much as a Gem issue.”

“So?” Connie insists, “I’m a Crystal Gem, aren’t I?”

“Well, it might not be entirely safe.”

“Pearl, I’ve handled stuff like this before. It’s basically running an errand,” Connie continues to argue her point, “Besides, Lion will be with me. He would never let anything bad happen to me. Would you, Lion?”

Unsure how else to convey agreement, Lion snuggles into Connie’s side and the girl wraps him more tightly in her grasp with a slight giggle. Lion would definitely take care of Connie, no matter what the mission was. He knows that Pearl does not entirely trust him and she has her reasons for that. Reasons that seem fair to him. He also knows Pearl has her own soft spot in her heart for Connie. Pearl never much cared for humans before Connie and Lion finds that to be interesting in its own way. It’s better for Lion not to contemplate too hard on Pearl, but when it comes to Connie, he can’t help but notice the way she melts all their hearts.

Pearl especially bends to her desires as if she doesn’t want to deny Connie the way she was always denied.

So it’s no real surprise that Pearl’s face softens as she steps forward and places a hand on the young woman’s shoulder. With a smile, she says, “Alright then, if you’re sure the two of you can handle it, then I guess there’s no harm in sending you. Let’s head down to the temple so that I can give you the map. We wouldn’t want you to get lost out there.”

The three make their way to the warp after with Connie in-between Lion and Pearl. While he is still unsure where they are going, Lion knows that his focus needs to be on Connie. He knows from experience that if he doesn't keep an eye on her, it seems as if no one else will.

Connie and Lion end up in a tropical jungle, located somewhere in the southern portion of the world during the latter half of the day, map in hand. Connie is diligent, checking the map often to make sure they are following the path they should be set on. Lion tries not to fall behind, but truth be told, Gem missions have never been his favorite thing. Earth just has so much to offer that spending time on things related to gems and gem history seems like work when put in comparison. Lion may be dead and resurrected, but he still has a limited time left of his existence. He may not have obligations in the traditional sense of the word but his desires are all he has and all he wishes to follow.

The human woman is lucky that her safety is one of his desires. Though, from the way she’s making her way down the path, with so much less drive than he is used to seeing her take with life’s challenges, he wonders if either of them wants to be there. He wonders what is happening inside that expansive and fascinating mind of hers as she swings the sword Bismuth let her borrow to knock obstacles from their journey. Her eyebrows are knit in concentration and her eyes stare ahead without truly seeing what’s in their sightline. While she pays attention to where she steps, enough to stay on the correct path, it seems she is dedicating most of her essential brainpower to something else entirely. 

Lion is once again wishing he could speak because he wants to talk with her in a way he knows that she will understand. Even though Connie has never struggled to comprehend whatever it is he wants to communicate to her, he wants to be sure she hears him. He wants to be a comfort to her in a way he knows Steven could.

That’s impossible, so instead, he walks by her side through the humid, wet environment, hoping his presence is enough to inspire some ease in her mind. Eventually, he seems to reach into her heart. It’s an hour into their mission when Connie finally speaks.

“This used to be fun,” she mutters to him, not quite under her breath. Then as if realizing there is nobody to criticize her words or argue with her she raises her voice to a normal speaking level, “Do you remember when Gem stuff used to be fun?”

Lion simply stares at her. He wonders if “Gem stuff,” as she calls it, was ever fun.

“Because sometimes I don’t,” she says without waiting for the confirmation that he can’t give. “Which doesn’t make sense. It must have been fun at some point. Why else did I want to do it so badly if it wasn’t? Maybe I’ve just secretly been a masochist this whole time.” She laughs, “Though I hope not. Things are already changing too much in my relationship with Steven to even consider something like that.”

Her laugh was hollow and cold. He thinks that she is trying to hide her real fear behind a joke. Lion understands.

“I know that face,” Connie says, catching Lion’s attention, “Just because you’re a big old cat doesn’t mean I can’t see what you’re thinking, Lion.”

She wipes her brow as she continues walking, “You all make that face at me. Pearl, Daniel, you, my parents! I’ve even seen Steven do it! You guys think I don’t notice when you look at me with that sad face but I do. None of you are subtle about it. Are you even trying to hide it? Because it doesn’t seem like it. But then I ask and you all just say that it’s nothing.”

“Well,” she adds, ducking under a low branch, “You don’t say that, obviously. Since you don’t actually talk. But it’s not like you answer me either, so it’s not much better.” Connie turns to look back at him as she leads him around a rock formation to head east. Her voice becomes a bit more dreamy and is directed less at him as she speaks. “Sometimes I wonder if you can talk and you’re just messing with me. I used to imagine that you would talk one day. That we would be in the middle of an important mission or battle and something would happen and the words would just suddenly come out of your mouth. I would be in danger and you would see me and just shout “Connie, no” or something and save me and that would be how me and Steven found out you could talk this whole time.”

Connie stops to allow him to catch up with her and reaches her hand out to pat his head when he is close enough, “I don’t think that is how it would happen now. Now that I know you, I think that you would just pop out and say “Boo!” one day when no one else was around and scare me. Then when I tried to tell Steven, you wouldn’t do it again. You would just stay silent forever and make me look delusional.”

She smiles down at him as she continues to walk, “You’re funny like that, Lion. You remind me of Steven. You’re both too serious and not serious enough at the same time.”

Lion narrows his eyes at her, upset he is unable to respond; that phrase could just as easily be applied to Connie as well.

She sighs with that sad edge however and corrects herself, “Although I guess I’m like that, too, huh? Too serious and not serious enough. I have never felt more like a little kid and more like an adult ever in my life. It doesn’t make any sense! I hate it when I don’t make sense. I haven’t made sense in a long time though. I’m not even sure when that was.”

Connie’s footsteps slow as her gaze turns up towards the canopy of leaves over their heads and she stops caring where her feet are taking her. She is on a mental journey far more urgent than the physical one she’s on with Lion. Retrieving a long-lost gem trinket that has no more meaning or importance. He shifts closer to her in case she needs the guidance while walking as he isn’t able to guide her in her mind.

Well, he could, but then he would have to give up the body he has called home for years now, and while Lion can be reckless, he isn’t stupid.

“Everyone seems to know who they are now,” she continues, “I thought that I did too. But now- Ugh!!"

She abruptly stops to sit herself on a nearby rock, collapsing with a heavy sigh and keeping her eyes on the sky.

Lion waits a moment to see if this is a short break that she will again get back up from in a moment or a long one that keeps them there for some time. It seems after a spell that she has no desire to walk for the moment. So Lion wanders to her side and lays by her feet. Her hands come down and tangle into his mane. She scratches his head and he thinks on how strange it is to enjoy the pleasures of a cat knowing what, _who_ , he is or who he was if he’s being completely honest.

That person is lost, but then again, that person was lost their whole life. In much the same way that Connie feels she is lost. Lion doesn’t need a trip into her head to know that. He can see it in the way she won’t look anyone in the eye and how every word she says carries a wistful sound at the end. It’s as if Connie is always partially trapped in her own head. She’s never fully there in the moment. She doesn’t truly live in her real life, and never has. The girl has always given half of her mind to fantasy. Those fantasies have morphed over the years, but they never have and most likely never will go away. 

Not until Connie makes them leave. The way that Lion did. Either by fully embracing them or setting them free.

“I’ve known I wanted to change the world since I was a kid,” Connie says as she rests her head on top of Lion’s and melts into the comfort of his fur, “I like school. I like being smart. I like being good at things. That stuff makes me feel good about myself. So shouldn’t it make me happy, too? If I’m doing things that make me think highly of myself then shouldn’t I be happy?”

Lion feels something wet in his mane and doesn’t need to look at her to know Connie is crying.

“I’m not, though. I’m not happy. This past week with Steven was the happiest I have felt in such a long time, and even then I don’t know that I was truly happy! I mean happy on a deeper level. I’m so close to my goals. I’m so close to what I have been working towards for years! Ever since I stopped doing Gem stuff. This is all that I’ve wanted since I started high school. Maybe even before that. I just want…”

She shifts her weight all of a sudden. Soon, next to him rather than behind, the girl buries herself even deeper into his hair and her cries become more desperate, “I want to be normal, Lion! I want to be a normal girl with normal problems living a normal life!”

Lion shifts to press his weight into her side so she knows he is there. He wonders if she broke down like this in front of Steven. He then quickly dismisses the thought. That’s not who she is right now. She wouldn’t burden him and the new life he is living. Lion doesn’t think the best of Steven’s new life but he deserves to have it. Everyone deserves happiness. Even Connie.

Especially Connie.

“I didn’t-” Connie cuts herself off, “I didn’t leave Gem stuff behind on purpose. I had my own life. School, friends, my future. There wasn’t room in my life for Gem stuff. I had to put myself first. That doesn’t make me a bad person! I didn’t do anything wrong! I did what I had to do for myself and there is nothing wrong with that, right?”

Lion wishes he could agree, because he does, and she should hear it. Instead, he sits with her and lets her feel that he supports her.

“But- maybe I didn’t want to be there, around them,” she confesses suddenly as she cries, “Maybe I didn’t think Gem stuff was fun anymore so I didn’t like it. Maybe after everything that happened with us, with Steven, I wanted to get as far away from it as I could. Maybe I thought that's what I needed so that I could get better. That if I was around it then the pain would never go away. It would never stop.”

Lion feels Connie sit up, although she keeps her one arm around his head as she sits with him. He can hear her sniffle as she presumably brushes tears and snot from her face. He can hear crying in her voice, “I don’t know if I was right. I missed them, and I like Little Homeschool. I look forward to going there every week. I rarely see my other friends but I spend so much time with the Gems.

“School is basically a formality now and I feel good about the work I do for Little Homeworld. These days, I feel more comfortable around gems than I do around people! I couldn't even talk to Steven's friends and I almost never see my own! It’s all so backward! I can’t wrap my head around it.”

Connie stands and Lion shifts to face her again. He watches as she paces in front of him while her mind races at ten times the speed of her feet.

“I guess I’ve always seen my life in two parts,” she explains as she walks, “Because it was all such a secret as a kid. I had my human life with my parents and my school then I had my life with the Gems and magic and sword fighting. These were two distinct, different lives that I was living at the same time. Two Connies, two lives. Human life and Gem life. Even after my parents found out I didn’t tell them everything. My lives were less separate but they were still separate.”

Connie stops. She acts as if she’s talking to Lion, but he knows she isn’t. This is a conversation she can't have with anyone other than herself, so Lion listens as she works it out in her mind. 

“Little Homeworld put a pretty big wrench in that, I guess. A whole town full of gems who interacted with humans and Earth life as if it was normal made it hard to keep my two lives separate from each other. I didn’t know what to do. I had to pick one. So I picked my human life because that made the most sense.”

With a sigh, Connie turns to him, acknowledging his presence again. Her eyes are confused and soft. Lion feels for his poor child. He wants to fix it for her even though he knows he can’t. There is a tremble in her tone as she asks him, “Did I pick wrong? Do I- maybe I don’t belong with people. Maybe I am supposed to be with the Gems. How do I know?”

That pulls at Lion’s heart enough to make him stand. He walks to her side again to put his nose to her hand. He knows exactly how it feels to think that he belongs with people other than those he has always known as his kind. He knows how it is to resonate more with something foreign than something familiar. He knows just what it feels like to be Connie and be a gem in her soul in all the ways that matter. After all, Lion was never like the ones he was raised with. No matter how much they tried to force it. He was always different. He was a black sheep or the ugly duck that was actually a swan. He belonged somewhere else that didn’t quite make sense considering where he came from.

Like Connie, the young woman who found her heart’s purpose with the Crystal Gems despite being, in most ways, human. She knows that. The question has instead become what she will do with that.

"What do I do now, Lion?" she asks quietly, "What will make me happy? What will help me feel like me again?"

Lion doesn't have an answer to that and Connie already knows that is the case, but still, she asked. He aches with a desire to give her some kind of response but he isn't sure how to do it. With no other ideas, Lion sinks his teeth into her shirt and begins to pull her once more towards their destination instead. That same instinct from earlier tells him that it's the correct choice.

"Hey!" Connie snaps, even as she lets him pull her along. Eventually, she follows with no need of guidance, so he releases her. "Okay, okay, I get it. We have work to do. Though I haven't seen you care about getting a mission done in years. That's so unlike you, Lion. Are you feeling alright?"

There is a seriousness in the jovial tone of her question. He doesn't know what it is that he would tell her even if he did have the ability to answer her. A moment later, Connie is back to being the one leading Lion through the jungle. They were told that the trip was short and if his memory serves him right, he can tell they are close to their destination. He still puts little to no importance on what this place is or what it was supposed to be, but slowly, Lion does remember it for what it was.

A pointless effigy to the Diamonds. He has no idea what is here that the Crystal Gems are concerned with but he feels like places like this simply need to be torn apart. Although, there is pleasure in the idea of the Diamond Authority not being worth all of the effort and instead going out with barely a whine rather than a roar. There is some justice in that.

Lion can live with that. He wonders as Connie glares at the statuettes, herself if she can.

Connie grips the sword Bismuth had given to her for the mission until her knuckles begin to lose color. Her cheeks brighten as if the blood is racing from her hands into her face.

Lion wants to give her permission for it, but is unable to. No one would judge her for it, were she to release what she is feeling in her heart. No one but herself. Lion judges, but only when it is just to judge. Often it is. So the judgment falls squarely and only on her shoulders.

Connie turns away. As with most people, she is her own worst critic.

The young woman looks around the base of the statues for an item Lion should care more about. He doesn't, though. He wants nothing more to do with this mission, which says little as he barely cared to begin with. He is here for Connie.

Eventually, she wanders from his sight and after having been gone a moment too long. Lion leisurely moves to seek her out again. 

She is easy to find and he’s soon looking down at her again. She found a seat in the shadow of Yellow Diamond's likeness with what looks to be something broken in her hands. She looks at it with a sad yet intense expression. The wild cat takes his place at her side once more and pokes her head with his nose.

With the smallest of smiles, the girl gives him her attention. She holds the object up into his view as she sighs, "Pearl said it might not work anymore, but I didn't expect it to be broken. She said that it was part of some old weapon and it gave off a signal. She'll be happy to know that it probably just overloaded or something. The Gems don't have a use for it anyway."

Lion feels as if he should remember what Connie is talking about but he doesn't. He's lived his newest life for far too long and often forgets things from early years. Part of that is the desire to forget while another part is necessary for him to live.

It's a lesson the young swordfighter still needs to learn. The power in forgetting and moving on. Forgiveness needs not play a part. Especially when it is towards those who don't deserve it.

"It's weird," Connie says, with that same tiny smile, "I'm sad that it's broken, even though that's a good thing. Pearl probably still wants it, so it's not like I wasted any of my time, but..."

She shakes her head, Lion understands.

"I guess we should head back," she says, but stays exactly where she is. He senses what she needs just as he did before and settles down next to her. His head right by her side. Connie leans into him exactly as Lion expects her to. They sit in another comfortable silence. Though he isn't sure how long they sit, the silence lasts. Then Lion hears a quiet sniff.

Patiently, the pink feline waits for her as she sobs almost inaudible tears from many past pains and traumas. He thinks she would cry harder if she could manage. However, she can't. So much has been sapped from the young woman who used to be a strong and fierce Crystal Gem.

A light that flickers now instead of blazing. She needs something to fuel the fire that burns inside of her heart. Something to allow for tears not to extinguish it. Something to truly live for. Just like Steven did. Like the Crystal Gems, old and new. Like Greg and the human race.

Like Pink Diamond did.

Connie knows she has to find that thing. She has to define herself. She is the only one who can.

Lion can't. He is powerless. He wishes he could do more.

For the time being, Lion sits by his girl, the child he never knew he would have, and allows her to feel that if the journey gets too hard, then she can always come home to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose is Lion 2020 propaganda. Spread the word.


	10. Hour 066: Rose Petals in the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration to change can come from the most interesting of places. Including from a perfect stranger that looks exactly like your boyfriend's dead mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun one to write. We're in the home stretch now!

Pearl had been very thankful to Connie when she wiped her tears away and popped back up at Little Homeschool with the item in hand. The girl sends Lion on his way after as she decides to call her dad home for a ride instead. She knows it’s silly but she is embarrassed by the way that she broke down. Lion is judgemental for a not-so-simple feline, and she knows while he cannot speak human words that he has opinions of her thoughts. She won’t ever truly know how he felt but she does know he supports her, and that’s a nice feeling on its own.

She wanders through the streets of Little Homeschool for a while as it gets late. She is holding her phone in hand but can’t bring herself to call him. She walks the streets and watches gems as they go about their own lives. She recognizes many of them as they enjoy the early evening. Some even wave and call “hello” to her since she is a familiar face now. She’s no longer seen as Steven Universe’s girlfriend, but as Connie.

Connie peaks into one building to see Lapis and Vidalia running a class together. She is happy the Gem smiles her way as their eyes meet briefly. She also finds Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl together as the former sketches the latter for what has to be the thousandth time. The Peridot and the Amber from the theatre class are with Jamie, giving him a hard time. She sees Pebbles run across the path in front of her as they hurry back to their little home within Little Homeworld. It makes her heart feel lighter with comfort and joy. 

Her mood is brought down slightly when she passes that group of Topazes she often sees together. She turns from them as she always does when she mistakenly wanders by them. As she does, she catches sight of pink hair, hanging down in huge ringlets. The same one she has been catching glimpses of since her first day. Her attention is immediately on the bright locks as they vanish behind a corner. She has seen the figure often, and it always sparks her curiosity though she is unable to pursue it due to volunteer work...

Which Connie realizes she doesn’t have at the moment.

As if her instincts have taken over, Connie turns around to sprint back towards the path the gem took. She races around the building into a more crowded part of town. This is where there are fewer roads and more houses. Bismuth tried to fit as many as she could in the space that they had before expanding. The buildings are close together, and gems take up whatever free space is left over. It reminds her of her class trip to Empire City where people could barely move their arms without elbowing someone.

Connie scans through the mass of gems. She has made a choice already, and she isn’t going back on it. It isn’t hard to find the massive poof of hair over everyone else’s head. The figure is also tall and wide so she stands out. Quartz gems usually stand above others, and Connie is beyond sure this gem is a quartz. She even thinks she knows which kind of quartz she might be.

With a spring in her step, she takes off in the direction the pink-haired mystery gem went. It has become so second nature to her to duck under the arms of perfusions and former soldiers that she hardly thinks about it. It’s basically instinct now to hop over the tiny gems that make their way along at her feet. The sounds of identical voices saying different things in conversation stopped unnerving her months ago and now just all fades into the background. The world of gems is normal to her now. It holds little surprise. This gem should be no more a mystery than the other Pearls, Garnets of different shades, and larger Amethysts that roam around. All are familiar images that Connie has grown accustomed to. This one is no different.

Except that, she is different. Connie has never seen a gem like her in Little Homeworld. In fact, there is only one place Connie has seen her.

Her feet come down hard on the pathway as she races back towards the dormitories which must be where this gem is heading. It makes sense. That was the first place she was ever seen. That must be where she lives. It is all coming together inside Connie’s head. She breaks out of the more crowded area and back into the open street. She continues in the same direction on the lookout for the gem in question. She focuses on that bright shade of pink that has long been connected to Steven in her mind. Pink Diamond pink.

It flashes again not far ahead of her as the gem also turns from the more crowded part of town and into the empty street with Connie. The human girl gets a glimpse of her face for the very first time. She knows this gem. It is precisely who she always thought it was and, as impossible as it sounds, she is there. She is alive and walking around and Connie should know the obvious explanation for this, but in her adrenaline-fuelled chase, she doesn’t connect the dots. Instead, she races towards the gem as she begins her walk again. She runs so fast that she eventually ends up ahead of the person she is pursuing. She quickly flips around and slides into her path. The gem stops short as Connie blocks her way forward with her body, pointing a dramatic finger into her shocked face.

“Aha,” Connie cheers, out of breath, “I caught you! Finally, I’ve caught you! You can’t get away from me this time, Rose Quartz!”

Rose Quartz looks to one side and then to the other. She stands stiff with her hands interlaced in front of her stomach. She stares down at Connie by more than a head with confusion etched across her face. Her eyes are soft and lidded in that way that anyone would recognize as being a signature of who she is. She is in a soldier uniform rather than her known poofy white dress, but other than that she’s the spitting image of the picture Steven once hung proudly in his home. A picture Connie has seen enough times to have permanently branded into her memory. It was, after all, the face of her true love’s mother. It was a very important face.

Gently, the gem asks, “I’m sorry. Have we met before?”

Connie’s body sags as she speaks. She is out of breath and sore from a long day of work. She stares up at the vibrant gem and realizes two things. There is no way this is the Rose that gave birth to Steven, and even if it was she would have no idea who Connie is anyway. To Rose, any Rose, Connie is another human. To Connie, this Rose, like all Roses, is Steven’s mother. Despite being wrong, it is the only thing that makes sense in the scenario where Connie chased a strange gem through town as if everything good in the world depended on tracking her down. It’s what motivated her and drove her to the moment where she’s awkwardly standing in the way of someone who probably has a long day herself and is ready to go home for the night.

“No,” Connie confirms as she relaxes her stature and puts down her hand. “We haven’t met- This was just-” Awkwardly she holds out her hand again, this time in invitation for the other gem to take. “I’m Connie.”

“Oh,” Rose Quartz says, taking Connie’s hand in a way that conveys that she only recently learned the gesture. “My name is Rose. Though you already seem to know that.”

“Yeah,” Connie says during their awkward handshake, “your gem is pretty famous around here for a lot of reasons.”

“Yes,” the pink gem sighs, sadly as they release hands. “Unfortunately, the name Rose Quartz carries with it a reputation that I’m not fond of.”

“I’ve heard stories,” Connie confirms, though she thinks the other gem doesn’t need to hear it.

Again the gem looks around as if she is uncomfortable. She could easily walk around Connie but makes no move to do so. Connie gets the feeling she wants to leave but for some reason is choosing to say. Perhaps she thinks it would be rude to walk away from their conversation, or maybe she thinks Connie has something important to tell her. Whatever the reasoning, the two stand silently in each other’s company for a stretch of time that is probably only a few seconds but feels like days. The gem says nothing, but she stares at the young human woman as if expecting something. After Connie gives her no answers she asks, “Is there something I can help you with… Connie?”

“Oh, gosh,” she says, feeling her face light up with shame. “N-no I’ve just seen you around and wanted to meet you, myself.”

“I’m not her,” Rose says almost like it’s an apology.

“Oh, no,” Connie says, shaking her head, “I- I know you’re not her.”

The gem looks past Connie with longing in her eyes. The young woman turns to look that way as well. The dorm is in sight and Connie feels bad for cutting into Rose Quartz’s leisure time. Unlike a lot of the gems there, it feels to her as if this one understands the value of free time and doing what you want rather than what one is told to do. There is something about the one gem that is different from the others. There is a uniqueness inherent to her that other gems have to search for when they get to Little Homeworld. Connie has seen it many times already, with a few stragglers who joined classes late. Personal identity is something all gems have, but they need to discover it in their own time. It takes some longer than others. This gem seems well aware of who she is.

Or rather, perhaps who she is not.

“Would you like company on your walk home?” Connie finds herself offering out of nowhere. She is late getting home already, and shouldn’t be taking the time for casual strolls. She can’t help herself though. Now that she has caught the famous Rose Quartz — or rather, a gem that looks suspiciously like the famous Rose Quartz — she is reluctant to leave her side so soon after. She needs to make the most of this moment as she doubts the other person is going to want anything to do with her after this exchange.

“I suppose that would be nice,” Rose Quartz finally answers after a moment. She does not smile as she does though. She may just be agreeing so as not to upset Connie. She can’t tell what the gem is thinking. She is barely sure of what she is thinking to begin with. All she knows is that she can’t leave yet.

“Alright. This way.” Connie turns on her heel to face the other way as she says it. The gem moves to walk by her side. She takes on a tour guide stance and acts as if the gem is following her, even though she doesn’t need help to find the place where she lives. Rose Quartz does not comment and simply walks with the human, politely quiet and still.

The dorm isn’t far, so Connie doesn’t have much time to do… whatever she wants to do here. Unsure what else to say she remarks, “I don’t think I’ve seen a Rose Quartz before. I know that there are more, out in space, living with the zoomans, but I’ve never seen one other than you.”

“That’s where all of them are. It’s where they’ve been for over five thousand years. After she — ” she cuts herself off, then continues with, “I came from the zoo myself, actually.”

“Really?” Connie says, more invested in the origins of this gem than any other she had met.

“Yes,” she answers with a nod. “Now I think I’m the only Rose Quartz left on all of planet earth.”

“You probably are,” Connie comments as they continue their walk. She obviously can’t be sure there are no other Rose Quartz gems on earth, but it was a pretty good bet. Especially considering neither the one she is talking to nor herself had seen another in the one place where most gems on earth lived. Looking up at the gem with curiosity on her face, Connie asks, “That must make you very special. What made you want to come to earth?”

Strangely the gem’s mouth turns into as much of a tight line as her plump lips can manage to. She looks away once more and it starts to feel like she is more often looking away from Connie rather than at her. Everything about her stance is closed and cold. She has the air of a person after someone brings up a sensitive subject. She’s asked this question of many gems before and gotten answers ranging from simple one-word explanations to overly detailed origin stories. This gem looked willing to give up neither. Never once had it occurred to the human woman that it was perhaps for some a very personal, or even invasive, question.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly says before Rose can answer, “you don't have to tell me anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she lies. Connie can tell it isn’t fine. “I’m just thinking about what I want to say. That’s all.” The young woman does not believe her, but she also does not fight her on it. It’s not her place to. The gem takes a breath as they come nearer to the dorms, Connie slows her steps in hopes the gem will follow and the journey will take longer. Luckily, it works.

“I suppose I wanted to see it and experience it for myself,” she says after a moment of thought. “It seemed as if it would be easier now that — it seemed like the best time to try it out for myself.”

“Were you…” Connie hesitates, unsure if this also counts as too personal of a question to ask. “Made on earth?”

“All of us were,” Rose says as if that’s obvious. “Pink Diamond made us. All of us. We were all made here, in the Prime Kindergarten. With the Amethysts.”

“Oh. I know Amethyst!” Connie says, happy to have something to grasp onto. She realizes how silly it is after she says it. Of course, she knows Amethyst. Everyone knows Amethyst, she’s one of the main teachers there. Though Connie hasn’t been T.A. in a class with Rose, she must know the human girl works there or is possibly even a student herself. If Connie has seen her, then she has seen Connie.

“She thinks she’s different from the rest of them,” Rose says of Amethyst, “but loud and fun and always acting like they think the best of themselves to cover up how sad they are is exactly how the Amethysts back home act. If anything, she’s the most Amethyst-like Amethyst I have met on earth so far.”

“I bet she would be glad to hear that,” Connie says with a smile as they walk slowly. Rose gives her a sideways look that conveys something she can’t quite name. She focuses ahead again. “Not that you have to tell her that if you don’t want to. I just think it would be nice for her to hear.”

“Not from me,” Rose says with a sigh, under her breath. There is a tone that conveys how little this Rose Quartz thinks of herself. Connie wonders if self-doubt and low self-esteem have been programmed into these types of gems to keep them obedient. Probably not. Gems aren’t meant to feel anything at all. Being seen as lower in society than everyone takes a toll on a person, which is something she knows well both as a human and as a Crystal Gem. That thought alone makes Connie pause, unwilling to explore the idea further.

“I think it would mean something extra special coming from you,” she says instead, putting all of her focus back on Rose.

“I told you,” Rose almost growls, “I’m not her.”

“No, I know that! I meant — ,” Connie groans. “You lived with Amethysts before, a lot of them, and she’d probably be happy to hear it coming from someone who knows them as well as you do.”

“Oh,” the gem answers, turning a similar shade of pink Steven does when he is embarrassed but in a slightly darker hue. Connie isn’t sure what to make of that. These days though, she isn’t sure what to make of pretty much anything. It’s the only true comfort in her life at the moment. How uncertain it all is feels oddly soothing.

“Do people treat you like her a lot?” Connie finds herself asking. She bites her lip after the words escape her mouth. Her curiosity can get the better of her at times and she doesn’t always know how to stop the questions from coming. She shouldn’t be prying into this person’s life, especially considering how she hates it when people butt into her private business.

Rose doesn’t seem to like making eye contact with Connie. Perhaps the human woman makes her uncomfortable. Connie wonders if she’s ever been asked that question before. She wonders how often people check up on this gem who came from the human zoo and spent the majority of the years that she existed trapped in a bubble. She must be even more confused than others of her kind. She is more alone here than any of them. She may be less comfortable here than Vidalia, Jamie, or even Connie herself is. More of a foreign being to her own culture than the human visitors who frequent it.

“They haven’t said much about it,” is her answer. Avoidance must be a quartz trait as well.

“I didn’t ask what they said,” Connie affirms, “I asked how they treated you. Do they treat you like you’re Rose Quartz? Uh  _ the _ Rose Quartz I mean, Pink Diamond.”

The gem looks only a little bit taken aback. She had understood the question perfectly fine, and she feared Connie would push her. Finally looking directly into her companion’s eyes she says, “They don’t say anything directly, but they give me looks. Some avoid me entirely. I don’t take many classes with the Pearl or the Garnet or the Amethyst that were close to her. None of them can take it. This makes them uncomfortable.  _ I _ make them uncomfortable. So they try not to be near me often or alone with me.

“When I do take a class with them,” she continues, glancing away again, “they ask Volley to go with me. They say it’s because they worry about me getting lonely with no other quartz like me around here, but I know that’s not true. She is much more comfortable being around me because she never knew Pink Diamond in this form, so she doesn’t see me any differently than the other quartz gems. It is nice. It’s not why they did it. They did it so they could talk to me through her, but still, it’s nice.”

The confession pours out of her much more easily than Connie expected it to. It took little to push her into talking about it. The young woman suspects this is because she has held it back for so long. No one has ever asked, and she wants to tell her side. She wants to defend herself against things that have little to nothing to do with her. She is a true innocent in all of this and never asked to be marked the way she has been. However, whether she likes it or not, she is a marked gem.

Connie feels for her. She knows what it’s like to live in someone else’s shadow. Whether that be her parents or her boyfriend, she has spent much of her life being seen as an extension of someone else. It was a long time before she found an identity of her own, one she’s not even sure she has anymore. The story pulls at her heartstrings. She thinks it’s good that Rose has Volleyball to talk to. Who knows if that’s enough, but it’s better than having nothing. It’s better than stewing in those feelings alone. She wonders how much help the Pearl is when considering her own connection to Pink Diamond. Is that the only reason she was assigned to be with Rose? Because of that one association with their former Diamond? It’s hard to say as the Gems are not always easy to read.

“It probably doesn’t help that you look… so much like her.” Connie sympathizes with the gem as best she can. “People probably have a hard time making a separation to begin with, but I’m sure that doesn’t improve the situation.”

“It doesn’t,” Rose confirms. Connie notices she doesn’t turn towards the dorms when they are near the entrance. She continues to walk to the other entrance instead. Connie claims this as a victory of some kind. “It’s strange, Rose Quartz gems are some of the most unique gems. We all look different, our Diamond made us that way on purpose. We’re individuals by design.”

The Rose Quartz gives a look that conveys an emotion Connie knows by  its appearance  but can’t completely convey in her words. Bittersweet humor, maybe. “So of course the one that comes to live on earth is the one who looks exactly like her.”

“Did you ever get to meet her?” Connie asks, curious if the gem modeled herself after the leader of the rebellion on purpose when she reformed. After all, Rose Quartz gems had been poofed and bubbled after Pink was “shattered.” As far as she knew, it didn’t matter if they were aligned with the Crystal Gems or not. They were all punished for the crime.

“I don’t think so,” the pink gem answers. “I think I would remember her if I did. To answer your actual question though, I didn’t choose to look like her. There are just only so many ways a gem can form her shape. It’s not as if we can become whatever we imagine. Not in the way we look.”

“I’m so sorry,” the young woman says as the two stop outside the door into the dorms rooms. Looking for a way to change the subject, she asks needlessly, “Do you live here?”

“I do,” Rose says simply, “on the bottom-most floor.”

“Well, I’m sure you can make your way in from here,” Connie says as she turns away. “I’ll just-”

“Would you like to walk with me some more?”

The question surprises Connie, and from the look on her face, it also surprises Rose herself. Somehow neither expected her to ask. She looks to the side again, and Connie does the same. Tentatively, with a smile, the girl answers with a quiet, “Sure, I can walk for a little while longer.”

Rose smiles.

The pair continue walking into the center of town. Connie waits patiently to see what the gem has to say. She isn’t sure what she expects exactly, but she knows she thought the conversation would be focused on the pink gem and not herself. That’s why she is taken by surprise when Rose asks, “Were you made here?”

“What?”

“Oh, sorry,” Rose says quickly. “That’s not the word humans use. Born is what you say, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Connie says when she understands what is being asked. “It’s born, and yes I was born here on earth.”

“Oh yes, I know that,” the gem stumbles a little over her words. “I know all of you are born here except for those in the zoo. I meant were you born here? In this area… town… place?” Her face turns a different shade of pink again. “I don’t know what I am trying to ask.”

“It’s okay!” Connie giggles a little awkwardly. “No, I wasn’t. I was actually born in the midwest where I used to live with my dad. I lived in a big apartment building, which you probably don’t know what that is. It’s a tall building with lots of rooms. It’s like your dormitory but each of the places has more than one room. I lived there with my dad until they bought a place here near Beach City. My mom did her residency out here, and eventually, they gave her a job. It’s a really good hospital so we moved here so she could take the job.”

The Rose Quartz stares at her with confusion in her eyes. Connie sighs, “You have no idea what most of that means, do you?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t,” she admits. “But it’s nice to hear you talk about all that stuff. You humans are so different from us gems. You’re all so special, with your own individual, unique lives. Free from being mistaken for anyone or having to live up to an image that someone else created for you.”

Connie laughs loudly at that statement. Not because she thinks it’s a joke, but rather because she knows it isn’t one. Rose stares at her with her wide, almost shocked eyes as she continues to laugh with her arms wrapped around her midsection. Connie laughs long and hard, unable to gain any control of herself. She tries to speak her mind several times and is always interrupted by her own uncontrollable laughter. Finally, she gains some semblance of stability and explains.

“Hate to tell you this, but humans here are not like the ones you knew back in space,” she says through lingering bouts of laughter. “We’re hardly anything alike from what I’ve heard.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” The gem seems embarrassed by the mistake. Connie feels a little bad.

“No,” the young woman amends, “it’s not your fault. You would have no way of knowing that.”

Connie takes a deep breath, hoping to get all her silliness out. She then elaborates, “It’s just that we humans have expectations too! Here we’re all made by our moms and dads and they expect us to behave a certain way when we’re adults, which is what it’s called when a human is done growing up. Besides, other people have all sorts of expectations for you too. Teachers, friends, even strangers! Everyone has their opinion on what everyone else is doing. They’re all in each other’s business all the time. It’s annoying. No one ever lets you breathe, or think things through on your own. We’re not that different, really.”

The gem looks unhappy with that. She looks downright angry in fact, learning this information. With frustration in her voice, she asks, “Then what’s the point of being here? If it’s the same? Why did we all come here? I thought it would be different here. I thought that on earth you were free to go against expectations! I thought the way they all treated me would stop, and yet here is an earthling telling me I’m wrong! Telling me that nothing is going to be different than if I had stayed on the ship!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Connie defends. She’s not worried about being loud. The two have walked their way around the tower to a silent part of town. Not because of sleeping, few gems enjoy sleeping. Rather, it’s because this is where classes are and night is usually given to gems as free time as human teachers and students do need to sleep.

“Then what are you saying?” the gem demands.

“I’m saying on earth, lots of people put expectations on you, but,” Connie thinks what she wants to say and ends up pouring out her unfiltered thoughts. “You can say ‘no’ here! No matter what anyone expects of you, you can tell them ‘no.’ That’s something gems on other planets are still trying to learn, but here it’s just how things are! No one is allowed to decide for you except you. People encourage you to say ‘no.’ They applaud you when you stand up for yourself. There are always people supporting you. Not everyone likes it when you decide to think for yourself and ignore everyone else, but even if everyone disagrees you can still do it. No one is allowed to tell anyone else who they can and can’t be. Earth sets you free. Earth can be whatever you want it to be.”

“It can?” Rose asks softly as if nobody had told her that before. That can’t be true though. It was basically Little Homeschool’s mantra. Perhaps it meant more from someone like Connie.

“Of course,” she affirmed then feeding off her own adrenaline high, “For me, earth is my home. It’s a place I want to fight for and keep safe. It’s somewhere that I want all people to be happy and safe and free. I want earth to be beautiful and be a place full of life and love and happiness. I want earth to be someplace everyone who came from here, human and gem, can be proud of. Earth is my home and I want it to feel like that. All the time.” With that, she takes a deep breath and asks, “So tell me, what do you want earth to be?”

“I want earth to be as wonderful as it was the first time I saw it from space,” Rose says without any hesitation, feeding off Connie’s own passion. “A giant ball of life that was full of possibilities.”

Connie hates to think it but with a statement like that, it’s not much of a wonder why people confuse this gem with Steven’s mom. She shakes that thought clear from her head and with her fists raised high in determination, she asks the gem, “Okay, so what will make you feel like that? What will make you believe that the earth is full of possibilities again? How do we make earth the home you deserve?”

The Rose Quartz thinks hard from the look on her face. This is a big question that should be given time to process, but time is not something that fixes all problems. Connie knows this as well as anyone. So before Rose can think too long, the girl bombards her with more questions, “Well? There has to be something. Anything! Can you tell me one thing that would make you believe this place could be whatever you want it to be? Name it and I promise I will help you make it real!”

“You will?” the gem asks quietly.

“Of course, everyone deserves to be happy,” Connie says with sincerity in every word. “It’s not an easy lesson to learn but it’s true.”

“Well, I wish…” the quartz trails off as if afraid to speak her desire aloud.

“What?”

“I would feel like I had more options if I didn’t — ” This time the gem cuts herself off. “I wish I didn’t look so much like her!” The words come out in a rush of strong emotion Connie doesn’t expect. Once it’s out in the open though, it’s as if the gem can no longer help herself and she carries on saying, “Everywhere I go, people see her! It’s getting to the point where even I start to see her when I look at myself! Earth is supposed to be a place where I can be whoever I want to be, but right now it feels like a place where people want me to be her. I can’t be her even if I wanted to. It wasn’t much better on the ship, or on homeworld. No matter where I go I’m just her to them.” She looks at Connie with her own determination, “I don’t want to look like her anymore. I want to look like me. I am going to look like me!”

“Wait!” Connie says in shock, believing she’d discovered something she previously didn’t know, “gems can change their appearance without reforming?!”

“No,” Rose says simply, “they can’t.”

“But — ” The human girl cuts herself off with a hard swallow at the thought. “But doesn’t that mean to change your appearance you have to poof yourself?”

“Yes,” the Rose gem sighs, “that’s exactly what it means.”

“I — ” Connie looks away. She thinks about how she felt in the jungle with Lion. She thinks about how much she hates the Diamonds for what they did to her planet and the people she loves. She thinks about how all of that pain comes down, at its core, to Pink Diamond, to Rose Quartz, to Steven’s mom. This is most especially true of his own pain, and by some extension of that Connie’s pain.

It might feel good to let that pain out.

“No!” she almost yells at herself more than the gem. “I’m sorry, Rose, but I can’t. I can’t do that for you.”

“But you said — ” Rose cuts herself off. “No, you’re right. That’s a lot to ask of anyone, let alone a stranger.”

“I wish I could help you, but it wouldn’t be right,” Connie explains, shaking her head. “I need to take care of myself, and hurting you wouldn’t be good for me.”

“You would be helping me,” the gem tries, perhaps in one last effort to change Connie’s mind. 

Connie, however, stands her ground. “Maybe it would, but it’s too far for me. I won’t — I can’t do it.”

“No, you can’t,” the gem agrees finally. “I can’t expect other people to fix me or my problems. I have to do it myself.”

There is a tone in that declaration that gives the human girl pause. She tries to meet eyes with the taller gem, but Rose Quartz’s gaze is set on something only she can see. She is focused on a possibility that Connie can perceive. Eventually what she means becomes clear to the human. She understands what Rose is thinking, and what she may be planning to do. She reaches out her hand to firmly place it on the gem’s arm. This catches her attention as, until then, the two have not touched.

“Rose…” Connie shakes her head. “I know how you feel, but this might not fix anything. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Maybe I don’t have to…” she says with some wonder in her voice.

“What?”

The gem pats Connie’s hand with her own before pulling away. She takes a few steps forward with her back to the human. Connie can’t see past her mass of pink ringlets. The quartz’s hands clench as fists by her sides. Her hair hides almost all of who she is under it. For the first time, Connie thinks maybe it was Pink Diamond who saw this gem and was inspired, not the other way around.

“If she can change on her own, I can too,” the gem continues, her body appearing to tense. “Maybe if I just think hard enough on my pain and what I want. Maybe if I just focus I can…”

There is a sudden pink glow from somewhere in front of the Rose Quartz. Connie rushes to get in front of the gem to see what is happening. She makes it there in time to see Rose look down at her gem in shock. Her body begins to shake and shudder erratically in front of Connie’s eyes. She’s never seen anything like it. From the look on her face, neither has Rose. They both stare in obvious curiosity and fear at the gemstone. A stone that looks so scarily like Steven’s gem that the concern for what it might be doing to Rose breaks the girl’s heart. Soon Rose herself also starts to glow. It terrifies Connie until her blood feels more like ice. She doesn’t know what to do, but she wants this to stop. She takes a step closer but Rose holds up a hand to stop her from approaching her.

“Stop!” she commands. “I want this.”

“You don’t know what’s happening! This could be really bad,” Connie argues, though she obeys. “Please let me help you!”

“Keep my gem safe then!” Rose says as she drops to her knees. “Make sure nothing happens to it!”

“Rose…”

The word is barely out of her mouth before she is hit with a distinct, familiar popping sound and burst of brightly colored dust. The cloud surrounds her and she waves her arms to clear it away. Once she can see, she looks around for the leftover gem. She spots the quartz in the exact spot that Rose Quartz just was. She drops to her own knees in front of it. She stares at it, overtaken by sadness.

Connie saw Steven’s gem when it was pulled from his body. It’s a memory that often visits her as a nightmare. It was bigger than this gem is. This gem does not have the same point but is flat on the opposite side. She slowly picks it up with just her fingertips. She held Amethyst’s gem as Stevonnie once. It felt similar. It’s almost exactly the same except for its color. That brings up other memories she doesn’t want to dwell on. Resigning herself to what happened, she stands, pockets the gem, and heads to tell Pearl what happened.

* * *

“She just… poofed herself?” Pearl asks Connie as she presents the rose quartz gem to her.

“Yes, ma’am,” Connie confirms. The gems trust her too much to suspect she did anything, so she feels safe sharing some of what happened with them.

“Is that even possible?” Pearl asks in that tone that reminds her of when she and Steven first showed off Stevonnie. Garnet and Bismuth are there with them and though it was harder to tell, the idea clearly unnerves them as well.

“It has to be possible,” Bismuth says, reaching for the gem to take it from Connie. Bismuth holds the stone flat in her palm as if to show it off. “After all, she did it!” She then laughs unexpectedly. “Leave it to Rose Quartz, eh?”

She pats Pearl on the back which causes the shorter gem to stumble and lean on the larger one for support. Pearl puts her hand to her face as Bismuth slings her arm around her shoulder and she examines the gem in Bismuth’s hand. “Well, I suppose that is true. In 6000 years I’ve never heard anything like it!”

“And?” Bismuth says with joy that may or may not be sincere. “No one knew that fusing with different gems was possible until the power couple over there did it! Ain’t that right, lovebirds?”

Garnet is silent, watching from the sideline as she tends to do when this sort of thing happens. Slowly, she joins their group, but she pays no mind to her fellow gems. Instead, she looks down directly at Connie. The human girl has grown quite a bit over the years, but gems are tall and most still tower over her. Garnet has a full head on Connie to this day. Yet with her back straight and her feet planted, the human girl trains her eyes on the shiny visor that hides Garnet’s eyes.

“Well, there’s no reason to question it,” she begins then gently but firmly says, “Connie told us everything she knows.”

It’s not a question, but Connie feels as if they are waiting for an answer anyway so she explains, “Yeah. I was walking past the dorms on my way out to the gate. I saw her shaking and glowing. She said she didn’t want to look like Rose anymore and then poof! She asked me to make sure her gem was safe though.”

“Don’t worry,” Pearl says, stepping out of Bismuth’s grasp to put her hands in a familiar position on Connie’s shoulders. “I’m sure you did everything you could to help her. This isn’t your fault.”

Tight-lipped, Connie nods.

“Of course you did,” Bismuth adds, putting far more faith than warranted in the young woman. “Our Connie would never just abandon someone who needed her. She’s got a clean-cut gem… or whatever the human version of that is.”

“Let’s go,” Garnet says before Connie can ask what that means, taking the stone from Bismuth. “We need to find somewhere to put  _ her  _ until she reforms.”

The others nod and begin their “goodbyes” but Connie interrupts them with a pained, “Wait!”

They all turn to her and listen. Connie motions to the stone in Garnet’s hand. “I promised her that I would make sure she’s safe. Could I look after her until she comes back?”

“Oh,” Pearl says looking at the other two, “that’s very sweet of you, but it’s probably better if she’s here in one place instead of being carried around everywhere you go. We can put her back in her room until she’s ready to reform.”

Connie deflates. “I guess, you’re right. We wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her before she can get back.”

“Your kindness is appreciated,” Garnet says in that way where if you didn’t know her you might think she was being patronizing. “You need your rest. We all have a busy week ahead of us.”

“Yeah, you can trust us, kiddo,” Bismuth affirms. “Get on home.”

Connie nods and heads off to find Lion instead of calling her dad. She already has a few angry voicemails from her parents about how late she is, so she thinks it would be better not to spend half an hour in the car with her dad. It doesn’t take her long to track down the wildcat, however, the whole time her mind stays on the Rose Quartz who managed to poof herself.

The pink gem stays at the front of Connie's mind all through the next day, and the day after that. When she shows up for her next shift at Little Homeschool, she visits the gem’s room to see that her gem is sitting on her bed, still waiting to reform. With a sigh, she heads to work unsatisfied. She stops by the room again before she leaves, just in case, only to be met with the same sight when she does.

This continues over the next week. Connie thinks about the gem in many of her free moments, and visits her both when she arrives at Little Homeschool and when she leaves. She wonders if Rose has reformed whenever she’s away from the gem and checks to see if she’s back when she knows she can. The Rose Quartz takes up a lot of space in her mind. Steven tells her about the first time Pearl poofed and reformed over the phone, a story he had strangely never told her before then. He reassures her that being scared is normal. Even though they have both seen it happen, again and again, it doesn’t get easier and the waiting is always stressful. Connie doesn’t tell him which gem poofed and Steven doesn’t ask. It’s better that way.

That night after she and her boyfriend have said their “goodbyes” and “I love you’s” Connie sits cross-legged on the floor with her sword in hand. She stares at the blade and at her reflection. She didn’t poof Rose, so why does she feel like she did? The gem had asked and she refused, and she feels somewhat guilty about that. She isn’t sure why she can’t stop her intense guilt. The circumstances would be the same no matter what Connie chose to do. Rose would still be in her gem, waiting to reform.

However, Connie can’t help but think the way Rose poofed herself is what is making it so hard for her to come back. Had Connie stabbed her then, perhaps she would be reformed as a brand new quartz by now. If Connie had done it for her then maybe she really would have been doing the gem a favor. That may have made things simpler. Perhaps she was wrong and selfish to tell the gem she wouldn’t do it. She can’t tell if what she did was right.

Turning the sword in her hands, Connie also can’t help but admire the gem. It’s a brave step. She was willing to risk herself for what she knew would make her happy. It’s the kind of person Connie always wanted to be but isn’t sure she can. The girl has put herself in great danger so many times but never for herself. How was it possible she had it in her to put her safety on the line for everyone but herself? She risked death for Steven and the gems inside White’s head on Homeworld, but would she risk death for something that she wanted?

Connie glances up to see herself in her full-length mirror. Her sword is intensely large and sharp. It was made to slice through hard light, but it could easily cut through human skin and muscle. It’s an instrument of power. An example of Connie’s own power. She is smart enough to know just how dangerous this weapon is. With her free hand, she gathers the majority of her hair to one side of her head. She grabs the hilt in her hand and lifts the blade to the level of her neck. She knows how stupid this is and yet… She slices hard and fast with her eyes forced open.

When she is done, she drops the sword to the floor along with most of her hair now separated from her head.

Connie stares at herself in her mirror. The cut is terribly uneven, and she nicked her ear as blood drips down her neck. She’s lucky it’s not worse than that. She’s lucky that she didn’t chop her head off all to cut her hair. It doesn’t even look good. Pushing the sword aside, she crawls to her desk. She pulls a box of tissues and a pair of scissors from the top drawer. These aren’t for cutting hair either, but it’s the best she’s got. She dabs away the small amount of blood from her first cut and, once clean, she begins to even out the cut. She snips away at her hair little by little, often over correcting and needing to take off more hair. Eventually, she is done. What’s leftover is a poor imitation of a pixie cut and piles of hair all over her floor.

Despite that, she smiles. She feels lighter in a way she can’t describe. She feels more free than she did. She feels better for a reason she knows doesn’t make sense. She’s a new Connie and it’s one she thinks she can easily get used to. Even in all its imperfection and mess, she loves it.

* * *

It’s a week and a half later when Rose returns. 

Connie heads over to the dorms to check on her after her shift just as she has been doing since the gem first poofed. She makes her way past the other gems as they head into their rooms to do whatever they wish to with their free time. She hurries to the room she knows belongs to Rose to find the bed is empty. The spot her gem was resting is now bare and flat as if nothing was ever resting there.

Logically, Connie knows that the gem has reformed, but her high anxiety causes her mind to jump to the worst-case scenarios. She wonders if the gem was taken, cracked, or even shattered! She takes a deep breath, knowing how ridiculous she is being. She composes herself and turns to head out of the building to search for the quartz. She doesn’t have to look far as moments later the gem is making her way down the hall in her direction.

At least, Connie thinks it’s her. The pink gem in her navel gives her away. There are also no other Rose Quartz gems on earth, so it can only be her. She has the same pinkish skin, although, unless Connie’s eyes are mistaken, it’s slightly darker. She still looks very much like the Rose Quartz with full lips and a soft, wide build. After all, there is only so much a gem can change their appearance. However, the massive ringlets in her hair are gone, and with them much of the length. Her hair probably stops at her shoulders now, but the girl can’t tell because Rose has it pulled back in a ponytail. There are also dark pink highlights shining in the strands. Her soldier’s uniform is gone, and Connie notices the gem attempted what the Crystal Gems do with their transformations and changed her style. She’s avoided light colors in favor of black with her comfortable pants and stylish boots. She kept the midriff to show off her gem, but the top is loser fit, hanging off her shoulders in a dark pink that contrasts with her skin.

Most importantly, her smile is big and friendly with wide, excited eyes.

“Oh, hello again,” she says when she and Connie meet.

“Hi,” Connie says happily. She considers telling the gem she waited and watched for her to reform herself, but thinks that might put her off. “I’m glad to see you’re back.”

“Yes, I am.” Rose nods as she speaks, and she holds her arms out to present herself to Connie. “And I must say that I’m happy with the result.”

“Well then, I guess that made the pain worth it,” she says with her own nod. “You look happy.”

“You reformed too,” the gem says, pointing to Connie’s head and lack of long dark hair.

“Oh yeah, I did,” the young woman answers, brushing a hand through her short locks. “Or no, humans don’t have to reform to change how we look. But I did cut my hair. It will grow back, but I’m happy with it like this for now.”

“Well then, I think it’s an improvement,” the gem says softly with a sincere smile.

“Thanks,” the girl responds, “same to you.”

The two stand in silence for a few moments. It’s strange because they are not friends. They had no relationship until this incident. It feels as if they've gone on an important journey together but now it’s come to its end. The awkwardness from the other night begins to return as they realize there isn’t much more left to say. 

The Rose Quartz puts her hand on Connie’s shoulder in a way that conveys gratitude as she finally says, “I wish we had more of an opportunity to talk, but Volleyball has been worried about me and I really must find her and reassure her that I’m okay.”

“Oh.” Connie senses that’s only a half-truth. “Of course, I need to be heading home anyway.”

“Get there safely.”

“I will.”

There’s a slight pause before, “And Connie?”

“Yeah?”

Rose smiles sweetly. “Thank you.”

Connie smiles too. “Same to you.”

The gem walks around the young woman towards the other end of the dorm. The young woman watches as the quartz leaves and admires her again for her bravery and her resolve. For doing something that no gem thought was possible before. For changing in a way that was brand new to them all. That alone gives her confidence to know anyone can grow and anyone can change. Gems are not meant to change, but that doesn’t mean they won’t change. She feels that deep within her soul.

Regardless of any other factors, Connie thinks they both look beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you comment. It was confirmed Spinel poofed from emotional distress over Pink Diamond so what Shy Rose Qaurtz did in this chapter is completely plausible in my opinion.


	11. Hour 077: The New Connie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie is feeling good! She knows she's on the right track for graduation and she's even got a brand new spring in her step, thanks to some new friends. It's hard to believe anything could bring her down.

Unsurprisingly, Connie was the most nervous about sharing her style change with her parents and with Steven. Remarkably, her parents had thought it looked good on her. Other than some shock, they seemed to agree that the haircut worked well for her face shape. Perhaps it wasn't as traditional as any of her old haircuts, but her mom and dad always try to meet her halfway on these things in recent years. They clearly didn't love it, but they kept whatever complaints they had about it to themselves. As for Steven...

Steven looked at her like he always tends to; with hearts in his eyes, an adoring smile on his face, and red on his cheeks from deep infatuation. He complimented her about a dozen and a half times during an hour-long phone call and asked her for updated pictures of her to show off. As she now knew, Steven often bragged about her to anyone who would listen to him. She had happily taken a couple of selfies to send to him. She had received a massive text filled with nothing but heart-eyed emojis in return.

Connie didn't need the support. She had done this for herself. She had no one else’s opinion in her mind when she made this major change. It was still nice, however, to know that the three most important people in her life showed they support her in such an overt way. Most especially Steven. 

It boosted her confidence going to school on the next Monday sporting far less hair than anyone had ever seen her with. While only a few of her classmates had noticed, all of her friends, including Patricia and Daniel, found the change to be an improvement for Connie. Whether it was about her looks or about the new spring in her step, they approved.

She got nice comments from the gems at Little Homeschool. That, or questions about the intricacies of human reformation. She didn't mind though, and was actually happy to clear up misconceptions. She was amazed at all of the differences a haircut can make.

Though Connie suspects it is about more than that, she is choosing not to dwell on the thought. For the time being, she wants to enjoy feeling good about herself. It's the first time in a long time she feels honest happiness since visiting Steven. Even that trip had not been without its own issues despite having turned out as a net positive experience in the end.

The new look is not the only thing sparking joy in her, though. As the hours tick away, she gets closer and closer to her goal of class valedictorian. With most of her classes basically finished for the year and her college applications already sent out, her volunteer hours are the only obstacle to earning her the honor of graduating top of the senior class.

Luckily for her, things at Little Homeschool could not be much better.

With the weather trending warmer, there is a shift in classes for the gems as well. Jamie takes his students onto an outdoor stage for rehearsal, and the Ruby scouts double the trips out of the city. Some classes move down to the beach, and the whole school seems to open up and breathe. The comforts of spring weather seem to be more energizing for humans who attend and teach classes than it is for gems, but everyone visibly appreciates it.

Connie appreciates it too. It also means she sees new faces as she works with some classes she has never been part of before. This includes one with Rose Quartz. While it's nice for her to see the gem happy, they don’t talk to each other all that much. There really isn’t anything for them to talk about anymore.

A face she doesn't expect to see more of though, is the Nephrite from the baseball game a few weeks prior. She shows up in a number of the new classes that Connie assists in, and the gem's excitement to see the young woman again is sincere.

"Connie!" She cheers the first time the two of them cross paths. 

Connie hasn’t been able to get back out to the field in a while with so much going on as the classes near their closing point of the semester. Though she would like to join the gems for another game, she’s not entirely sure she could realistically handle it. Keeping up with them was an endurance test that Connie was just a bit too out of shape for. Her body had not been all that happy with her the evening after the game, or the next morning… or most of the following week.

“Hey!” Connie says back, excited to see the gem as well. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been great!” she says with a smile. “I was hoping to see you on the team again, but Peridot is doing her best as captain in the meantime.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the girl apologizes as students filter into the learning area and take their seats.

“You better be,” Nephrite laughs, “Jasper is saying you’re too ‘chicken’ to try facing her again, knowing you’ll lose. I don’t know what ‘chicken’ means, but I think that it’s not a nice thing to say about someone.”

Connie rolls her eyes but she still doesn’t drop her smile. She has a feeling while it’s meant to be insulting, Jasper means it in jest. She can’t be sure, but she trusts her instinct on it anyway.

She puts a hand on the Nephrite’s shoulder as she assures her, “Well, I’ll have to make sure that I get out there soon so we can prove her wrong. I hope you’ve been holding down the team while I haven’t been there, Nephrite.”

“We're doing our best,” the Nephrite answers, putting her hand on top of Connie’s hand sitting on her shoulder. She looks a little shy before she continues talking. “Also, I wanted to let you know that I actually have a name. Or a nickname, I think you call it. Something people call me other than Nephrite.”

“Oh?” Connie asks, taken by a bit of surprise as she does. “Then I’d love to call you by it if that’s okay with you.”

“It definitely is!” she answers, far more excited. “That’s why I told you. It’s actually been my name for a while, but I’m still getting used to it. I know that’s silly.”

“I don’t think it’s silly. Sometimes things take time.”

“Thanks.”

“So?” she encourages.

“Some people call me Centi,” she says with a pale green blush, “Steven gave me the name. Way before I was clear of corruption actually.”

“Oh!” Connie says with her own excitement. “You’re that Nephrite! Steven told me about you.”

“He has?” she asks, seeming flattered and concerned.

“He has.” Connie nods. Then she notices her demeanor and adds, “All good. I promise.”

“Oh,” the gem says as the tension leaves her shoulders, “Well, I’m happy to hear that. I like Steven a lot.”  
“Yeah, he's pretty great,” Connie confirms with a blush of affection as the beginning of the next class ticks closer and closer.  
“I like you a lot too,” Centi says with a smile. The sentiment makes her squirm, darkening her blush, especially after she adds, “Though I’ll bet most people do.”

“I—”

Connie doesn’t get much of a chance to correct her as Vidalia and Lapis enter the room to begin the lesson. Centi heads to her seat as the human and the gem take over the class. They are planning on working on a big final project for the end of the year together, putting everything they learned together, and making a collaborative meep-morp piece. They went as far as to combine three of the classes into one long one. That’s why Connie has been asked to join their class for the rest of the semester.

As the co-instructors are explaining the idea and reasoning behind the decision, Connie lets her mind wander. What Centi said is still clunking around in her brain. She assumed most people like Connie. That’s not a statement that she herself would classify as being untrue. However, the concept that she is well-liked evades her belief. She can’t fully realize the idea by itself and has to let it form. At one point in time, Connie would have considered herself a person who wasn’t liked at all. She’s gained much-needed self-esteem by now though and knows plenty of people who like her.

Being _liked_ and being _well-liked_ are different though. Steven is someone who is well-liked, perhaps even beloved. Other than by her boyfriend and parents, Connie isn’t sure she would ever consider herself beloved in any regard.

As she goes around the studio to assist students though, she sees quite the opposite. She had not realized how many students she has already worked with take this class. That same Peridot and Amber from Jamie’s class are there. They are quite fond of her. There is Centi too obviously and so is the Quartz from the Ruby Scouts. In the back of the room that same Rose Quartz. Blue and Yellow Pearl walk by the building, calling “hello.” with a wave. Lapis even outstretches a friendly pat on her back and gives a cheeky wink as they cross paths. 

It occurs to her that she has quite a few people here at Little Homeworld that think highly of her. She has never been popular at school, even if she now has human friends like Daniel, Patricia, and a few others. She still passes through the halls of her school mostly unnoticed, save for the teachers and peers that she directly interacts with. 

This is different. She seems to be recognized everywhere she goes, even by gems and humans she’s never spoken to. It both puts her off and comforts her in equal parts, and she isn’t sure which is more true to her feelings on the matter.

When the class ends, Centi catches up with her to walk by her side as they head in the same direction together. Connie isn’t sure if they are going to the same class but the company is nice. They walk in relative quiet, enjoying the unique scenery and the presence of another person to walk with.

“Do you have a lot of friends?” Connie asks the Nephrite as they reach the central tower and both walk inside. She has seen the green gem with many of her own kind and has just learned she is friends with Steven as well. 

The green gem smiles brightly as the two climb the many stairs side by side and answers, “Yeah! I have my shipmates and the other gems on my baseball team. There’s also Sour Cream who sometimes comes here to show his music to us, we get along. He’s a DJ. Isn’t that cool? Humans have such fun-sounding names for types. Actor, mailman, mother, baker, Ronaldo. You’re all so different! Even within your various types.” 

Connie laughs at that. She is about to explain the error to Nephrite when she is interrupted by the excitable gem.

“Is Connie your type or just your name?” she asks. “Most gems think they’re the same thing but I know better. You’re not like us, most of you have names that are different from your categories. So which is Connie?”

“Oh.” The girl is taken a little aback. “Connie is my name.”

Centi nods. “So what is your type then?”

“My type?” she asks, even though she has an idea what the gem means by this.

“Yeah. A DJ? Or maybe a baby? What are you?”

“I guess, I’m a student,” she says, unsure how else to answer that. Centi looks confused though.

“But aren’t we the students?” she asks, gesturing around at the other gems. “You teach us.”

“Well, yes,” Connie says, twirling her fingers together, “but I’m also a student somewhere else even though I help teach here. It’s a little complicated, but I know about the stuff that they teach you here already. I’m learning new things over at my school. Then, when I’m done learning, I will get a job.”

“Oh,” Centi says with a nod then asks, “What’s a job?”

“It’s one of the things you keep calling a type,” she explains as they head to the top of the tower. Apparently, Centi is a student in Garnet’s next meditation class as well. “You could also ask some of the other gems. A lot of them have jobs. I know a few quartz gems work with Mister Universe at the car wash, and Blue Lace runs Lars' shop now that he’s out in space. I’ve seen a few popping up in places closer to where I live too.”

“Oh!” Centi says excitedly. “It’s like the duties we used to do on Homeworld! Like how my crew and I used to fly warships.”

“Yeah,” Connie says as the time to talk nears its end and the time to learn approaches them. Garnet is sitting in a relaxed state before them all. She is always already at the top waiting for her students to arrive. “Yeah, it’s something like that. You don’t have to do it all the time though. You get breaks, free time and they give you money for all of the work you do.”

“What is money?”

“It’s—” Connie shakes her head, deciding there isn’t time to explain it. “Don’t worry about that right now. You’ll figure it out when you actually have a job.”

“Can my crew and I get jobs together after we graduate?” Centi asks the human as she sits on her mat and Connie sits down by her friend’s seat. “I’d like it if we could stay together.”

“I don’t see why not,” she shrugs as Garnet prepares to teach, “I’m sure Amethyst can find something for you all to do together.”

“That’s great!” the green gem exclaims. “Maybe you could work with us too?”

“I don’t know about that…”

“Alright, everyone,” Garnet interrupts, seemingly on purpose, “time for our evening meditation. Take a moment. Clear your minds. Then we will begin.”

Connie stands after this to take her place with Garnet. Even as the Gem tells her it’s time to clear her mind, thoughts are swinging through her head. She’s done meditation with Garnet more than once at this point. Usually, once the class has been guided into a relaxed state of mental peace, the two teachers walk around to see if anyone is struggling and to make sure that no one has slipped into a dark place. She hasn’t seen the latter yet, but hears it has happened.

The class comes to a close as fast as these types of classes always seem to. However, she waits for the students to leave before she even considers heading out herself. She needs to think, and she doesn’t want to talk to Centi. Luckily, another of her Nephrite friends meets her at the door and they are off laughing together a moment later. Garnet waits for the class to exit as well, watching them leave one by one. She nods at them. Once they are alone, Connie only barely perceives the fusion approaching her with intent in her stride. Nothing she ever does seems like an accident. Everything Garnet does feels planned. Even as she smiles and places a hand on Connie’s shoulder it feels purposeful. Connie’s eyes snap up to look at the Gem as she is pulled from her thoughts abruptly by the touch of another person.

“I’m starting to think you might need to stay for the next class,” Garnet says with a slight chuckle lacing her tone.

“I got a private lesson from you years ago, remember?” Connie insists.

“Nothing wrong with a refresher.”

“I—” she backs out of the grasp. “Not today. Thanks, Garnet.”

“Suit yourself,” she answers with a shrug.

Connie forces a tense smile she knows doesn’t fool Garnet and makes her way out the door. There is one more class that day and it’s with Peridot. She had been looking forward to another few classes with Peridot but now she can’t get herself back into that mindset. She wants to look forward to time with her friend, but even thinking about that drags her into a place she isn’t totally comfortable with. She spends more time watching movies with Peridot and Lapis than she does doing anything with Daniel or Patricia. She tries to think of the last time she did anything with her human friends. School kept them busy, but the difference seems stark. She remembers how uncomfortable she felt with Steven’s friends. She thinks about how she can barely talk to her own parents these days.

Connie worries about who she is in relation to the world around her, much like she did with Lion only a few weeks ago.

“Connie!” someone calls, pulling her from her thoughts. 

When she looks up, she sees a group of three Ruby soldiers looking her way. They look overjoyed to see her and she is unsure why until she looks behind them and sees Jasper. The orange quartz is having an intense discussion with Amethyst about something. Though Connie rarely sees her in passing, she does always seem to be having intense conversations with the purple Gem. She also sees Jasper most often using the warp to either leave or return from Little Homeworld with her Ruby charges not far behind. They tend to hang back, standing just outside of her peripheral vision when she is with her sister gem. Soon she sees that they are actively making their way over to her. She stops to allow them to catch up to her.

They remind Connie of the children she often sees Patricia watching for her volunteer hours as they race to her, shoving each other aside and trying to beat the others to her side. It’s a mess of limbs and yelling that is endearing in some ways. They trip and stumble before finally the one with a visor and a Ruby on her chest stops in front of Connie. Her victory is short-lived however, as the other two soon crash into her back and they fall to a heap on the ground. The gems hop back onto their feet in no time, though.

“Watch it, Ruby!” the Ruby who was knocked over yells.

“It’s not my fault,” the Ruby with her gem in her arm protests, “it was Ruby!”

“Huh?” the last Ruby asks. “Ruby who? Me?”

The first Ruby slaps a hand to her head in obvious frustration before she turns to Connie. As if on the flip of a dime her expression brightens with a smile. She stands right in front of Connie as the other two flank her on either side. They have similar happy expressions as they stare up at the human as well.

“Hi, Connie!” she finally says, acting as though their accident had not happened. Connie giggles.

“Hello, again,” she says, recognizing that these Rubies were also on Jasper's baseball team when they played a few weeks back. She had not been formally introduced to any of them but they’re a hard group to forget. “It’s nice to see you all again. What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know,” the head of the group continues. She puts on a proud voice and stands tall as she speaks. “We’ve just been helping Jasper on her recovery and rescue missions throughout the universe. It’s our job to retrieve old gem tech, assist any gems in need, and put any trouble makers in their place. We don’t want anyone ruining all the great things Steven did for gems.”

“No, that wouldn’t be good,” Connie agrees. She was already aware Little Homeworld sent out people for missions. She and Lion had done so themselves after all. It was what she guessed Jasper and Rubies did as well. Still, they seemed happy to talk to her and for the time she was glad to let them.

“We still play sports!” The one with the arm gem assures her in a fast voice.

“Really? Now that surprises me!” she teases then laughs. The Rubies are all silent a moment before slowly they join in on her laughter. It’s awkward. Connie shakes her head. They don’t catch her sarcasm at all. With a smile she explains, “It was a joke. You guys like to play sports so it’s funny to say that you playing them is a surprise. Because it’s not a surprise.”

“Oh,” the fast-talking Ruby says then points to Connie, “you’re bad at baseball!”

She and the other two Rubies laugh at the statement as Connie stands there with confusion but also joy on her face. She understands what the gem is trying to do before the one with the visor clarifies for her. “Oh! I get it! It’s funny because Connie is actually good at baseball and you said she wasn’t.”

“Yeah!” the arm gem Ruby says. Connie joins in with her own gentle laugh, rolling her eyes. Their laughter dies down and they catch their breath with even bigger smiles.

“I don’t get it,” the Ruby with a gem on her leg finally says. Both other Rubies groan.

“That’s okay,” Connie assures her, “not everyone understands every joke. You’ll figure it out eventually though… uh, Ruby?” She thinks for a moment. “Uh, you don’t happen to have names, do you? Other than Ruby I mean.”

“Names?” arm Ruby asks.

“Yeah,” she confirms, “something I can call you besides Ruby. You know the way some people call that one Pearl, Volleyball.” 

“Oh yeah,” the lead Ruby says then turns to the others. “Steven gave us names, remember?”

Connie feels a flutter in her chest rather than annoyance. Of course, he had. Mentions of Steven in Little Homeworld don’t bother her anymore. “Great! What are they?”

“I’m Doc,” the one with the chest gem answers. She points to her companions. “This is Army, and this is Leggy.”

“Really?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Doc says with pride.

Connie puts a hand to her head. Oh, Steven…

“Which one am I again?” Leggy asks Army.

“Leggy!” she snaps back, annoyed.

“Those are… very accurate names,” Connie says politely, both embarrassed by and feeling fond of her boyfriend.

“Thank you!” Doc says, “I’m glad you like them!”

“I do,” she lies, “but it’s more important that you like them. It doesn’t matter if I like your names.”

The three exchange glances as if not understanding what she is saying. Again, Doc speaks for the group. “We want you to like our names though.”

“Why?”

“We like you,” she replies simply.

Connie’s eyes go wide as she understands the implication in that. They like her and therefore they want her to like them. She can tell the Rubies are in the habit of hero worship based on how they all fawn over Jasper. It doesn’t surprise her they have a tendency to put high value on other gems. It does surprise her that they have put that same high value on her though. After all, Connie is just… Connie.

“You’re strong!” Army says. “And fast.”

“And a great leader!” Doc adds. “That team has never beat us before you played with them!”

“They’ve beat us twice since,” Army says with spite behind her words, but not much., “They play better now.”

“It’s a challenge,” Doc adds on. “Baseball is more fun when you aren’t winning all the time.”

“Oh, is it time for baseball?” Leggy asks. Army groans.

“You inspired that team,” Doc continues as if the other two aren’t there. “You inspired Jasper to play harder than ever! You’re amazing. Connie!”

“Oh, I wouldn't—”

“Yeah, the most amazing,” Army adds, pushing past Doc to get closer.

“Oh,” Leggy says, also pushing past Doc, finally catching on to what’s been happening, “I think you’re amazing too!”

“Gosh,” Connie says, feeling herself blush from all the praise.

Adoration is something she is only used to from certain people. Yet that day she has received it openly from so many people that it’s a little overwhelming. She feels paralyzed by it. She doesn’t know what to even say to them, yet they are all staring up at her expectantly. It feels like she needs to say something to them.

Luckily, she is saved from that by Jasper’s call of “Hey, Rubies! Get over here!”

All four of them look up just in time to see Amethyst elbow Jasper. The larger gems sighs before she adds a forced, “Please.”

“Coming, Jasper,” Doc calls. 

Soon the three Rubies are off again, fumbling and falling all over each other just as they did when they tried to get to Connie. They do wave back at her before they are focused on the quartz. 

Leggy, who always seems slow on the uptake, even calls back, “Bye, Connie,” as they rush back to Jasper.

Connie isn't sure what to make of the encounter. She feels a strange sense of pride and then a deep guilt for not being deserving of said pride. She isn't quite sure which feeling she settles on as she starts to turn away. As she does, Jasper catches her eyes. 

The gem gives her a smirk off the side of her mouth. There is something still oddly menacing about it, but Connie can sense there is no ill will in her expression. She is conveying honest excitement at seeing the human girl again. It's such a stark and jarring contrast to her first interaction with the gem that Connie can hardly process what it means.

"Connie," the orange gem says. Even from a distance, her voice somehow carries with its low, growling tone. She makes her way over to the human, though she stops when she and the Rubies meet halfway through. "I've been looking forward to a rematch. Have you been hiding away somewhere?"

Connie laughs awkwardly as she begins to wander away from the scene. She doesn't like to be the center of attention, and often it puts her at unease. She certainly prefers the way she is singled out now as Connie, rather than before when she first started working at Little Homeschool and was simply seen as Steven's girlfriend.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Connie answers as she tries to subtly indicate her desire to go. She should have guessed subtlety does not register well with gems, Jasper especially.

"Alright, then come to the game tomorrow," Jasper practically demands of her, making the girl pause. The next day is Friday, and it's not a day Connie normally works, yet for some reason she almost agrees.

"That would be fun," Connie says before she shakes her head. "But I have to go to my track practice."

She said it like it was the true reason that she was refusing to play. As though if it were not for other obligations she has, she would be on the field bright and early ready to play. She wonders how true that is. It's not like she hadn't traveled to Little Homeworld for recreational reasons before. They were just always to visit Peridot and sometimes Lapis as well. However, returning to play a game with Jasper is different in a way she can't come to terms with at the moment.

"You can't run from me forever, Connie," the gem says, though the young woman can tell it's not a threat to her safety, but rather a challenge.

"I'm not planning on it," Connie answers. "We'll play Sunday. I'll ask Pearl about it."

The orange gem’s smile stretches wider as she answers with a chuckle, "Looking forward to it."

"Me too," Connie nods before turning away and waving. "See you then!"

She hears the Rubies talking excitedly to the quartz as she walks away. They seem thrilled that she will, hopefully, be joining in on their next game. It puts another boost of confidence and joy in her step. She heads out on her way with a new earned sense of comfort. She knows the streets well by now and she has not worried about losing her way in weeks.

The Rubies seem to like her. Very much. Centi likes her too. Those aren't the only gems either. Quite a few more seem taken with Connie. Thinking about it, all of the Crystal Gems had warmed up to her rather quickly, Bismuth included. While Peridot and Lapis took time, they are some of the people she would call friends these days. Even Jasper respects her if nothing else. Rose opened up to her when they had only barely met.

It’s strange to think about where she started as a child when she met Steven on the beach and where she is now. Back then she had broken down and cried so afraid she would disappear with no one to remember her but her parents. She was invisible to the world and now she couldn’t walk down the streets of this little town without someone noticing her. There was a time when even the one person who did take in an interest in her didn’t know her name. Now there were very few gems or townies who _didn’t_ know her name. She had gone from someone with hardly anything tying them to the larger world to a girl woven into the fabric of an entire community.

The thought was dizzying. She could never have guessed how important she would become over the years that followed her fateful meeting on the beach. It makes her feel both larger and smaller than she actually is. It feels like a responsibility only she can shoulder while also feeling like one she could never hope to handle. She can only do what she has always done when faced with seemingly impossible tasks. Be confident in the fact she had tried her absolute best.

Many humans seem comfortable here in Little Homeworld. Many gems seem to be friends with the humans that frequent the community. She sees them struggle to relate, though. She sees the way that Jamie or Vidalia will expect something from a gem and have to be reminded that is not how they function. Connie once had to grapple with it too, but now it’s easy. She knows them better than she does most humans. She’s much more like Steven in that regard. The only other people she’s seen get it like them are Lars and Mr. Universe. She wonders what that says about them.

Connie wonders what that might say about her too. She hopes it's something good.

Her phone goes off as she gets a text from her dad. He is waiting at the gate for her and she has been late leaving the town for the last few weeks. He isn't trying to rush her along, but it does make her speed up. She decides to skip the class with Peridot that day. Her mood doesn't shift to a negative state. The day has been good for an ego boost, so she feels at peace making her way toward the gate to meet her dad. There is no reason she should expect anything to go wrong so close to the end of her shift.

Which means of course it does.

Connie is looking at her phone as she tries to text him back and picking up the pace as she walks. She believes she knows the streets well enough by now to not have to look while she travels them. She forgets to account for other people taking up space. When she turns a corner by Bismuth’s forge too quickly and collides into a large gem, she shouldn’t really be surprised.

The gem must be big because she barely even moves while Connie is knocked onto her back. However, she uses her elbows to catch herself before hitting her head on the ground. She feels a little embarrassed, and it's worse than the pain in her elbows from scraping on the stone path below her. She is dizzy for a moment, but quickly regains her senses.

"Sorry," she says out of habit before even looking at the gem that she'd bumped into. "I should have been watching where I—"

Connie cuts her sentence off. The massive yellow gem turns around, hovering above her in an unfortunately familiar, intimidating way. She looks down at the young woman with a hard and stoic expression that conveys little emotion. The gem's eyes narrow and her mouth is still in a firm line. Although there is nothing aggressive about it—it is more of a neutral look—to Connie, it feels as if the gem is trying to scare her. The face on its own freezes her heart over. The way her body shadows the girl and dwarfs her in its size doubles the fear running through every vein in her body. Terror is something Connie has felt before, but not for a while, and it is not a feeling one ever gets used to.

"Are you alright?" the Topaz gem asks as her face relaxes. It does little to calm down the struggle of Connie's heart and lungs. The gem reaches her hand down to help, but Connie quickly shuffles back and away. Her hands slip on the stone. She almost falls to the ground again as she scrambles to her feet ungracefully. She never takes her eyes off the new Topaz as she does.

The gem follows Connie's movements with a quizzical look on her face. She stands back to her full height which does nothing to ease the woman's fears. The gem takes a step towards her. Connie takes one step back away from her. Two more steps and again the girl responds with her own two. The gem stops walking and puts her finger to her chin in thought.

Connie feels like she is twelve again. Twelve and small and scared. Without her best friend by her side, without her sword in her hand, with only her phone—

Wait, where is her phone right now?l In a desperate panic she searches her pockets for the device. She turns them inside out and leaves them that way. When she can't find it, she scans the ground instead until she spots it by the gem's foot. That's when she looks at the other person once again. She takes a deep breath, contemplating if the phone is valuable enough to stop her from just running to meet her dad. For now she is still waiting for something to happen before she makes a move, either out of calculated strategy or intense fear. It's hard to tell.

"Connie?" the Topaz questions. 

It feels like Connie's joints lock and her muscles tense when the gem says her name. The picture in her head of her attacker should be clear. Trauma burns memories in your mind, so Connie should know if this is _the_ Topaz. The one who stars in her nightmares from time to time. The name should tip her off, but all she can focus on is the chill running along her spine and the sound of blood in her ears.

"Y-yes," she somehow manages to force out of her mouth. "I'm Connie."

Suddenly, the Topaz smiles wide. "Oh wow, I was just talking about you."

Goosebumps cover every inch of skin that Connie has. "W-why?"

The Topaz actually looks embarrassed as she answers, "Everyone around here just had such nice things to say about you, and I've never met a human before, so I was hoping to meet you."

It's not her. It can't be her. Yet Connie does not relax. Maybe it's wrong or unfair for Connie to feel how she does, but it is still how she feels. This gem is not _the_ Topaz, but that doesn't matter. To Connie, she may as well be. She is that Topaz because they are all her. It’s not her fault, but she is someone Connie can’t be around.

“Are you alright?” the gem says reaching a hand out for Connie.

The gesture is friendly and yet the girl panics. Once more her instincts choose fight mode.

“Get back!” she yells. She turns quickly and grabs a sword from that pile Bismuth left outside of her forge. The human girl points the tip at the gem as she tries to come closer. Horror sets into the other’s eyes, but it is nothing compared to what Connie feels. Her heart is turning to ice as it sits in her chest. Her adrenaline and warm blood do nothing to unfreeze it. Her eyes are trained hard to the face of the Topaz. She looks confused and scared, but Connie does not care.

“What are you—”

“I said back!” the girl yells again.

She thrusts the sword forward, forcing the gem to step away. The weapon feels unreal in her hands, her movements feel like she is walking in a dream, and her fears grip her in a way akin to a nightmare. It feels as if she is watching the scene rather than living it.

“Did I do something?” the Topaz asks timidly.

Her eyes are soft and welcoming. Connie notices that her phone is in the gem’s hand. She must have grabbed it in the brief moment Connie grabbed the sword. The massive gem is holding out her phone like it’s an offering of peace. The young woman feels her hands shake. The sword wobbles as she looks from the phone, to the gem, then to the sword. She sees herself reflected in the blade. It’s a warped picture of her, and that couldn’t feel more true to the moment.

“Connie?”

Pearl’s voice is startling. The girl turns towards it on instinct. She sees the gem stepping out of Bismuth’s forge with the blacksmith gem a step behind. The pale gem looks worried as she looks between Connie and the Topaz. Her gaze bounces back and forth a few times before she steps closer to them.

Her tone is more conversational and less upset than Connie expects it to be, “Uh, what’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” the young woman answers, lowering the sword. She gently drops it back into the pile next to her feet.

As she does so, she notices others have gathered around. Gems and humans are staring at the duo as they try to piece together what happened. She feels terrible. She can only hope all of the people watching aren’t ones who are quick to judgment. If so, she’s made gems look dangerous to the humans, and humans look irrational and violent to the gems. “It’s nothing.”

She faces the Topaz once more and forces an awkward smile onto her face, but the Topaz does not return the look. Connie moves closer, cautiously holding out her hand for her phone. She can feel all the eyes on her. She has become more comfortable in the spotlight since meeting Steven. This however, is different. She made a fool of herself and should feel bad. 

“Sorry about that. I can be jumpy,” she points to the phone. “Can I have my phone back now?”

“Uh, sure,” the large gem says. She drops it as it burns into Connie’s hand. She immediately retracts her hand, then takes a step back.

“Thanks,” Connie says, tucking it in her pocket.

Her eyes then fall to Pearl. The gem looks as if she is concerned even as she tries to piece together what happened between the two of them. The young woman feels the pull to explain herself but she is far too embarrassed by her actions.

She takes her own step back instead, swallowing hard. “I need to go meet my dad. I bet that he’s been waiting for me. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, she makes a wide circle dash around the Topaz to race towards the gate. She feels the tears sting at her eyes as she does. She doesn’t want to run but needs to get out of there. She puts her track training to use and finds herself nearing the exit soon enough. She sees that her dad is waiting. It feels like some relief. She almost tumbles into the car when she is near. She needs a good cry. It was silly to think a new look and positive perspective would be enough.

Happiness isn’t a straight line, but Connie is determined to get there.


	12. Hour 083: At Once Together and Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie has a lot to consider about her future as graduation nears but what she can't decide is how much of that future has to do with her boyfriend. Lucky for her, Little Homeschool's favorite perma-fusion might be available to help her figure that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of the Crystal Gem chapters! This is probably the simplest of them all but I'm proud of it anyway. Also, Steven gets to be a part of things for a little while... though not in person.

Connie had made sure to have herself a good cry once she got back home. The incident with the Topaz had awakened something in her she tried to deal with in therapy a few times now but had never quite managed to.

Sometimes—often—it was because she didn’t feel comfortable enough yet with the therapist to share more than the most basic information after it came up in conversation. Sometimes it was because Connie didn’t feel like it was worth getting into as it wasn’t bothering her much at that current moment. More than once it came up at the very end of the session and she didn’t want to reopen the wound the next time, or something important happened in the week or so between her sessions. One time a therapist who didn’t put much into the existence of gems had chalked her “fabricated” memory with Aquamarine and Topaz up to psychological, unconscious distress in her relationship with Steven. That was actually the main cause of Connie no longer seeing that particular doctor. The memory wasn’t fabricated first of all, and second she had more than worked through that incident with Steven.

These days she had other hurdles to overcome in her relationship with her long-time best friend, now turned boyfriend. Or, more specifically, one hurdle.

Connie has still yet to choose a college for the fall and continues to work with both her parents and guidance counselor on her lists of pros and cons of each one she is interested in attending. She often finds herself as she is now, at her desk reworking those lists. Decision letters were starting to arrive, and she had been accepted to most places she applied. She has an important choice to make before summer. Jayhawk still appeals to her the most out of all the schools she’s looked at, especially because they offer a fast track version of her major, meaning she could complete her degree a semester early.

However, she did also send out an application for, and has been accepted to, Cane University. She applied barely after the deadline when she returned from her spring break and is heavily considering going there next fall. Despite her lateness, her academic history was impressive enough to earn her a spot. She had worked harder on it than on any other application thus far. She asked Steven to show her the school while she was visiting him. It hadn’t been in her mind before then but she wanted to check it out after she read up on it since she was there.

Cane is a good school, at least good enough to compete with the other schools she had taken an interest in. It’s as good as Jayhawk in some respects and is in fact better in certain aspects. It certainly wouldn’t have been a degree for anyone to scoff at if she does choose to go to Cane. There is a lot about the school that appeals to her even though she had never considered going until recently. The credentials are impressive enough but it’s not why she looked into the school.

Connie doesn’t want to be the kind of girl who picks a college to be closer to her boyfriend, but… would it be so bad to go to school in the town that Steven has apparently decided to put roots down in? The plan is for them to spend their lives together anyway. Eventually, they would move in together, get married, and maybe do the kids thing. Should she get used to taking Steven into account now?

Her week with Steven had been the best one of her year so far. It may have gotten off to a bit of a rocky start, but by the end she hadn’t wanted to leave. She hadn’t really laughed like that since she found out she might not graduate and she felt so much less alone with him. She had slowly begun to get used to his friends, and there was something so freeing about adult life. They made whatever they wanted to eat for dinner. They went to bed as soon or as late as they wanted to and spent their time however they liked. They had made love as freely as they wanted to, which was something they could never do before. She had been so stressed lately she hadn’t realized how much she missed that. She also hated to admit it, but she kind of loved his comfortable, little studio apartment. It was intimate and cozy. It was more than enough room for one person, and just the right amount for two…

Connie drops her pencil on her desk, frustrated with herself. That thought was taking things just a little too far. Even if she does decide to go to Cane University—which is a big if—she shouldn’t assume she can move in with Steven. That place was his space where he was trying to become his own man. Even if she could’ve easily fit her stuff and they could still have lived comfortably in the apartment, Steven was exercising his independence. He didn’t need her in his business, elbowing her way into his life. It was overstepping his boundaries just by thinking of going to the school nearest to him. He had been surprised she even wanted to see the college that was close to his town. Though, truthfully, he had been quite terrible at hiding his excitement that she might be attending that school come fall.

Who was Connie kidding? If she really wanted to move in with Steven so that she could attend Cane University, he would welcome her with open arms. He would throw away half his things to make room for her if needed.

The question is… does she want to?

Connie drops her pen onto the desk and falls back in her chair. She rubs her eyes as if she can free herself of stress just by doing that. She sees the names of all of the colleges she was looking at floating in the darkness. It's like the words have been burned into her eyelids permanently and she can never escape them. She knows they are going to haunt her for the rest of her day, even if she tries to force them out.

Luckily it's Sunday and she has volunteer hours to complete at Little Homeschool. That's always been a good and welcome distraction from worrying about school and her future. She likes it there. She feels like she can be useful there, not like at school where she is constantly bombarded by questions about her future. Her future has never looked uncertain, which is strange because Connie has known what almost every day would lead to for years now. Unpredictability is something she had lost since adventures with Steven stopped, and unsurprisingly has returned since starting work at Little Homeschool.

Connie doesn't like to think about what that might mean for her.

She stands after she's composed herself. She gathers her things, knowing her mom will have a lunch ready for her downstairs but she also makes sure to grab an extra water bottle. It's getting warm out, and drinking water can be difficult to find when she's at the school. Food isn't as hard to find but gems are experimental with their cooking. She's not always sure what they make in their "cafeteria" is safe for her to eat, let alone will taste good.

Connie glances at her desk once she is packed up to head out and notices her lists still sitting innocently on her desk. To her though, it feels like it's glaring at her, inviting a challenge. She doesn't want to think about any of this stuff. She wants a break but something compels her to keep some of her attention on the notebook. She has stared at it for hours. There is no reason to bring it along with her. Eventually though, she tosses it in her bag. She decides that she can't leave it there. If this will put her at ease then she will bring it.

Connie convinces Pearl to let her join in with playing baseball that day. The Gem sees no issue with this as it frees her up to do other things. Jasper and the Rubies are overjoyed to see her when she arrives at the field. Centi is even more thrilled when Connie puts on her uniform and takes over for Peridot. Peridot of course is also happy to see her. In addition to seeming relieved, she can now just coach from the sidelines with Amethyst.

The game is a good one. Jasper's team must have spent the time Connie has been away practicing a lot. The orange gem and her team win, but it's not an easy victory by any means. The losing team feels good about themselves regardless. Jasper takes Connie's hand in a rough handshake that feels respectful, even as it almost seems to break the human girl's hand. Her smile is clearly genuine and she lets Connie know she is looking forward to a tie-breaker in the future.

Once done, the young woman starts to make her way to find Lapis. She had been told to seek her out for the last hour or so left of her shift. The blue Gem and Vidalia are putting something special together for graduation. She hasn't gotten very far when someone calls out to her.

"Oh, there you are! Connie! Over here!" they call with some urgency in their tone.

Connie turns, recognizing Pearl’s voice right away. The Gem has an arm raised in a wave, signaling the girl to come over to her side. Connie smiles as she changes course. She falters as it occurs to Connie that she has spoken to Pearl more than any other person for months now. Even more than Steven, whom she texts near constantly throughout her days and calls every night. Her mother would be jealous at the ease at which student and teacher connect with one another. She isn't sure what brings on the thought, but it turns the human girl’s stomach nonetheless.

“What’s up, Pearl?” Connie asks as she reaches the tall Gem. 

“Listen, I know you were on your way to assist Lapis but I was wondering if you could help out with something else right now?” Pearl begins with more formality than usual.

“Sure,” Connie answers, more okay with giving up her time than she would expect herself to be. She's sure whatever she is asked to do will be covered as community service hours, but she likes to keep to her schedule as much as possible, though at Little Homeschool that seems rare. “What’s up?”

“There’s been a bit of an…incident,” Pearl explains cautiously with a sigh in her tone. “I’ll fill you in on the way there.”

“Alright,” she says as Pearl turns on heel and leads her back from the way she came. Connie follows, curious as to what could have happened.

As they walk Pearl begins her explanation, “Thank you. You see Connie, while we here try our best here to maintain a peaceful relationship between gems and humans, it doesn’t always go as planned. As you can imagine, we've had issues regarding, well, miscommunications and misunderstandings. That sort of thing. It's led to some unfortunate results.”

“Yeah, I could guess there might be some problems blending two completely different cultures with two completely different beings.” Connie tries not to groan too loudly when she says it and contemplates the issues with the melting pot theory of immigration. 

She knows many people have long struggled with the task of preserving their culture within the dominating presence of another culture and pressure to adapt. It’s hard to let what is important to you flourish when surrounded by an abundance of denial and ignorance. Though she isn't quite sure which is which in this scenario, she finds herself feeling more sympathy for gems than she does humans. It's yet another thing that unnerves her.

"So what happened?" she asks, trying to push those concerns deep down and focus on the here and now.

“Well, sometimes gems don’t quite understand human relationships and customs, and the same goes for humans and gem relationships, which sometimes causes…” Pearl pauses. “Problems.”

They soon come upon a gem sitting by her lonesome on one of the benches sat just outside of the greenhouses. It might be accurate to describe her as looking sad, but whether through natural gem features or corruption, it’s hard to make out an emotion on her face. Connie has seen this gem around. She is a former Crystal Gem from the war and the human girl has never actually seen another Gem like this one on either Homeworld or Earth.

There is something else oddly familiar about the gem, but she can’t name it from this distance.

“That’s Orange Spodumene,” Pearl explains, “I’m not sure if you remember her…”

Connie gives Pearl a curious look before once again looking over the translucent Gem with tentacles styled like a ponytail and bangs, one eye, and her gem in her pelvis area. It’s certainly not a sight anyone would forget, so Connie isn’t sure how she did if she does know the Gem. Pearl seems confident that the two have met before though. Her former mentor is normally right about these things so Connie searches her memory for a semblance of recognition. She comes up with nothing.

“Well,” Pearl shrugs, waving it off though Connie can’t manage to do the same, “that’s not important. What’s important is…Oh, how do I explain this?” She puts her hand to her face as she so often does when thinking.

As she does so, another Gem approaches. Garnet seems to always arrive exactly when she is needed. While it seems Pearl continues to contemplate an explanation Connie will understand, the fusion walks up.

"She's had her heart broken,” Garnet sums up easily. As she seems to do with most things. There is just the smallest tinge of sorrow in her voice.

It is no real surprise that the idea of lost love is something that cracks the otherwise calm and collected appearance Garnet puts on. Connie knows better, aware the Gem feels deeply despite the way she presents herself.

"I suppose that is the best way to put it," Pearl says as she notices Garnet nearby. She doesn't seem surprised to see her and Connie wonders if the maroon Gem was meant to be there and didn't just stumble upon the scene.

“Oh,” Connie says sympathetically though she has no idea what it has to do with her. She feels bad for the strange Gem. “That’s so sad…”

"It certainly is," Garnet confirms, face still tilted towards the Gem and not Connie.

“Yes,” Pearl agrees quietly, seeming to be momentarily lost within her own pain, as evidenced by the way her eyes unfocus. Connie watches her shake it away in a way she is familiar with and continues to explain, “The issue is she doesn’t completely understand what that means."

"Huh?" Connie says. She knows that the relationships concerning gems and humans are somewhat different but they can't really be  _ that _ different.

"Humans and gems can have very different definitions of what it means to be with someone," Garnet explains. The next sentence comes with a quick look at Connie before facing the Gem once again. "Most humans can’t fuse and most gems don’t understand what love and dating is. While the things they feel for each other are real, the way they both define that love can keep them apart in ways they don't yet understand. It's part of our job to help them learn."

Pearl looks up at Garnet before looking back down at Connie. She then clarifies, "She’s in pain, but I’m not sure how to help her process it without making it worse. So I thought that maybe you and Garnet would be able to...”

“Oh,” Connie says again. 

She is starting to understand a little more why Pearl wants her to help Garnet in this situation, even if Connie feels like the Gem could handle it on her own. While Connie's only romantic relationship is one set to last for her whole life—she and Steven are on the same page as far as that is concerned—she still has a better grasp on relationships than many gems do. She thinks so anyway. Her fears from earlier that day slowly creep back into her mind. She copies Pearl and banishes them with a shake of her head. 

Still, even with Garnet’s help, she thinks it’s a difficult task to put on the shoulders of a teenager. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

“Exactly,” Garnet says, “but not alone."

A familiar light shines along her body as the singular tall Gem soon becomes two smaller ones. Ruby and Sapphire smile up at Connie, holding hands as if, even apart, they don't want to lose that connection to one another. It's a closeness Connie can admit she admires, though also one she is unsure whether she desires.

"We’ll do it together," Ruby says, proudly pointing to herself and her partner. "The three of us."

With fondness in her tone, Sapphire says, "Pearl and I think we need a human perspective or she won’t understand. I saw this interaction going quite poorly if Ruby and I were to tackle it on our own."

Connie glances to the side then back at the blue Gem she feels she both knows very well and doesn't know at all. It's hard when it comes to fusion. Connie takes part in it and yet still can't say she fully gets it. All she really knows is she loves Steven, and she loves being Stevonnie. Maybe not all the time like Ruby and Sapphire, but enough of the time. Steven had offered it during her visit, but it had felt… wrong. As if she would be using Stevonnie selfishly. After the drag race with Kevin, she never wanted to fuse for the wrong reasons.

Her thoughts are interrupted by Pearl. "This felt too personal to ask one of the other teachers and we thought about getting Greg to help us out, but I’m not sure where he is at the moment. Besides, I don’t like to drag up the past with him.”

Connie knows enough about Rose, Pearl, and Greg to understand why she wants to avoid that.

“Alright,” Connie says, determined to help the poor Gem. “Well, I suppose we should check up on her then.”

"That's the spirit," Ruby cheers, fist held in the air.

"Yes, we really should hurry over," Sapphire agrees. 

She waves out a hand to signal for Connie to take the lead. So the young woman, who has never experienced this type of heartbreak, starts to make her way over to the Gem struggling to understand her own pain. Connie tries not to drag her feet. She is so unconfident in her ability. Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl are sure she’s capable of doing this though. She doesn't want to let any of them down.

Orange Spodumene takes notice of them almost as soon as they get within a few feet of her. Connie has seen Sapphire cry before, and tears streaming from only one eye is not the most comfortable sight. She is more than slightly put off. Not because she is unnerved by the oddity, but because the sheer size of the tears make it seem even more tragic.

Connie isn't sure what to do, but feels Ruby push her forward after they are quiet for just a little bit too long. The girl stumbles a moment before she regains her footing.

She now has the full attention of the Gem, who says, "Hello human, may I help you?"

"Actually," Connie begins, clearing her throat, "I was thinking that maybe we could help you."

"Help me?" she asks, strangely not even making an attempt to hide her sadness.

"Yeah," Ruby confirms from behind her. The Gem glances briefly at the other Gems then brings her focus back to Connie.

"We heard you’ve suffered a terrible loss," Sapphire adds, "we want to help perhaps ease some of the pain you’re feeling."

"Right," Connie says as she is starting to feel like maybe they are ganging up on the Gem, "what she said."

"Oh," the translucent Gem responds with so much sadness in her tone it breaks Connie's heart. "You're talking about Vikki…"

Slowly, Connie takes a seat next to her and notices Ruby and Sapphire do the same on her other side. The young woman then asks, "Was that her name? The one that you lost?"

She nods, "She ‘broke up’ with me? I'm not sure what it means, but she says she no longer wants to spend time with me. She told me I'm not supposed to visit her or call her cell phone. She hasn't spoken to me in a week. It has made me…very sad."

Connie sighs as she looks past the Gem to Ruby and Sapphire. None of the three know this kind of heartbreak personally. She is starting to wonder if maybe it would be better if Pearl or Greg were here and not the people who had lucked out on meeting their soulmates already.

"Love is a wonderful thing," Sapphire says when Connie can't find the words to express her condolences. The blue Gem continues, "However, the price we pay for love is pain. No matter who you love and who loves you, sometimes love will hurt."

"Yeah," Ruby says, "Even though I love Sapphire so much that we hate to even be apart that doesn’t mean I ain't never been hurt by love."

Connie understands where the two are trying to go with this and chimes in with, "My boyfriend has hurt me a few times too."

"He did?" she asks, shocked, "But isn't your ‘boyfriend’  _ the _ Steven Universe?!"

"Yeah, I know," Connie laughs, fondly thinking of him, "Steven is pretty great. But he still messes things up. Sometimes he gets caught up in the way that he feels and he forgets about me and my feelings. He's an emotional guy and most of the time that's great. I never feel like he doesn't love me or doesn’t support me but sometimes it feels like he doesn't always hear me when I talk because he is too absorbed in his own head."

Orange Spodumene looks up at her, almost horrified by that. She wipes her eye hard and asks, "Does that mean that this is how love is meant to feel? That this awful feeling is what love is?"

"Not always," Sapphire corrects. "Most of the time love feels wonderful. But it hurts when that wonderful feeling goes away and you don't know if you will ever feel that way again." She grabs her wife's hand. "But Ruby taught me that love is powerful and love is unpredictable. That can make it seem scary."

"But that's part of what makes it so great!" Ruby adds, squeezing Sapphire's hand hard enough Connie can see the muscles in their fingers twitch. "You never know what's gonna happen next! You just have to believe it will work out. And even if it doesn't, well, then you still have memories that'll last forever!"

"Yeah," Connie says, taking a chance and putting her hand on the Gem's shoulder. "Love can be so unexpected and weird!" She feels herself blush as memories wash over her. "Me meeting Steven was the very best day of my life! And I spent the whole time thinking that we were going to die!" She laughs a little darkly at what happened that day. "But he was so amazing. He still amazes me! Even when it hurts, love is worth it. The only way you could ever feel this bad is because at one point you felt that good."

"But," the Gem says, shaking her head, "Vikki is gone. I'll never feel good again."

"No, no, that's not true," Connie says before Orange Spodumene can go too far down that line of thinking. Luckily, Sapphire has her back on this one.

"Connie is right," the small blue Gem says. "Chances are high that you will feel this way again. Perhaps not with Vikki, but you will feel love again."

"Is that—" the Gem cuts herself off. "Did your future vision tell you that?"

"Pssh," Ruby says with a hearty laugh, "Sapph doesn't need her future vision to know that, silly. I could have told you that, and so could Connie."

Connie nods. "Love doesn't stop, it just grows and changes and becomes new. You will love someone again. Whether that's Vikki or another human or a gem! I can almost guarantee it!" She pats the Gem's shoulder gently. "But it's okay to be hurt in the meantime. Just know that this hurt will go away, and feeling it just means she was important to you."

Orange Spodumene smiles as she takes Connie's hand in her own. "Thank you…you are very sweet and smart. Just like Vikki is…" Her voice trails off into a sniffle.

"It's okay," Ruby says, also reaching out to touch the Gem's arm. "We're here for you, everyone at Little Homeschool, if you ever need us."

"Yeah," Connie confirms, "we take care of each other here. That includes you!"

"Thank you so much," she says, "I think that I understand…or I understand better. Maybe I will never truly understand love."

"It seems impossible that anyone can," Sapphire says with another squeeze of Ruby's hand. 

"We just all try our best to figure it out," Ruby adds, looking to her wife.

"Yeah," Connie agrees, thinking how easily Steven makes her throw logic out of the window. The thought of him that morning brought her only confusion and distress, even through no fault of his. "I'm not sure it ever makes sense."

"That's…actually nice to hear," the Gem responds with a sigh. She looks better, if not yet happy.

Connie feels good about what they did for her. Even now though, she is unsure why Pearl commented on Connie knowing this Gem. Orange Spodumene doesn't seem to know Connie any better than the young woman knows her.

Sapphire suddenly stands, taking Ruby along with her and eliciting a "huh?" from the red Gem. She turns towards Connie as she says, "Next it looks like we leave Orange Spodumene to her own thoughts. She has a lot to consider, and she deserves privacy to do so."

"Oh yeah," Ruby agrees, "good idea!"

"Oh!" Connie turns to the Gem and asks, "Would you like some space now? To try and sort out your feelings?"

"Yes, I would," she answers. "In fact, I think I'll head to my room. Thank you all for your kindness. I have a lot to think about."

With that, Orange Spodumene stands and heads towards the dorms. Connie stands as well and watches her go. She just barely registers Garnet appearing again. She isn't fully aware of it until the fusion touches her back. At that, Connie looks at her with curiosity settling deep in her eyes.

"Thank you for your help today, Connie," she says with a slight smile.

"Oh yeah, no problem, Garnet," she says even as the thought nags at her.

She feels like she helped Orange Spodumene by being there, but doesn't understand why Garnet needed her there in the first place. Ruby and Sapphire did fine and probably could have handled it without her help.

"Now," Garnet says, tilting her visor down to look at Connie over them, "let's discuss what's on your mind."

"What?!" Connie cries and nearly jumps away from the Gem. The surprise fades away quickly. She should have known that this was about more than the heartbroken, multi-tentacled Gem.

"You're approaching graduation," she says, matter-of-factually but with kindness, "I thought that you might have some things that you need to talk about."

"I…" Connie trails off, looking down and away from her. She feels Garnet pull her into a half hug.

"Let's take a short walk," she says in that way that implies it's a suggestion without really being a suggestion.

Connie allows Garnet to lead her down the small path off one of the main roads. She wonders as they walk how much Garnet already knows about her situation. Does she know about what Connie had been thinking that morning? She may have seen something in the future that made her approach Connie today. Thoughts run like crazy through her head as the Gem leads them out of the town and eventually along the countryside.

"Wow," she says after some time walking, calling Connie's attention to her, "I will never get tired of sunsets."

Connie looks past her at the sun as it gets close to setting. The Gem stops and so does she. Together they watch the sun as it drops slowly in the sky. They stand in silence as Connie contemplates what she should say. She wonders if Garnet is thinking, waiting, or just enjoying the view. It's probably all three.

"Go on," Garnet says, "Ask. Even though you already know you won't like the answer."

Connie sighs but she finds herself doing so anyway. "What happens to me after high school? Can you see my future?"

"Yes," she answers, "I see many futures, including yours."

She considers beating around the bush and avoiding the topic but instead, assuming Garnet knows about her notebook and her feelings, asks her, "Do I go to Cane University? Do I move in with Steven? Is that what I do next, once I'm done with all of this?"

"It's possible."

"It is?"

"Many things are possible."

Connie groans. She shouldn't be upset. They both knew that she wouldn't like what Garnet had to say. Still, it spurs her into some kind of repressed rage. 

"I'm happy when I'm with Steven! In fact, it might be the only time I'm happy. I miss him, and he's far away now. Living in his new apartment with his great job and his cool, adult friends with their dyed hair and tattoos who don't go out to dinner on their parents' dime! He's a grown adult with a whole life that doesn't include me! Of course I want to be part of that!"

Garnet says nothing through Connie's rant. She doesn't even look away from the sun at the young woman. Not until after a long moment anyway. The human girl can't take the silence.

"It's hard," she confesses. "Everything is hard right now. I want being with Steven to be easy."

"Love takes work," is all Garnet says.

"I know," she agrees then adds a sassy "I was there when we talked to Orange Spodumene." She sighs, "And he's worth it. Even though it can be hard to be together sometimes, I know that he's worth it.” Her body sags in defeat, “But he's also not the answer to any of my problems."

"You're not wrong," the Gem says, finally looking down at her, "not about any of it. It's important for you to think about Steven if you two want to spend your lives together."

"But let me guess," Connie says, her tone a little bit snarky, "Steven shouldn't be the only thing I'm thinking about, right?"

"You catch on quick," Garnet responds with a smile.

"Thanks, I'm a fast learner," Connie says as they turn back to the sun as it makes its descent.

She already knows what the right choice is. She never thought about going to Cane University until she visited Steven. It isn't by any stretch of the imagination a bad school, but she doesn’t want to go for the wrong reason. She loves Steven, but this isn't about him or their relationship. It's about Connie and her happiness. Maybe that includes going to school that’s near Steven, and maybe it doesn’t.

What decides that though is not what it means for Steven and Connie, but what it means for Connie and only Connie.

The two stand in silence until light starts to slip out of the world and leave darkness behind it. The change can make the night so beautiful, even more so than the day is. Connie breaths in deep, as if she can take that light with her before it leaves forever. She releases her air knowing that it will never be the case. This light she needs can only come from inside. She will find it. Somehow, someway, she knows she will. Even if that light fades, it will always come back the next day.

"You know Garnet," she says as night claims the world, "I don't think I will ever get tired of the sunset either. But I also think I love the sunrise a little bit more."

Garnet laughs a little as she says, "Love is a strange and wonderful thing. All love."

"Yeah," Connie agrees quietly, thinking not about Steven but of herself. "It really is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! We got two more CGs to go before the end!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback always Welcome!
> 
> Also if you feel like it check out this cool SU fanfic discord I'm part of:
> 
> https://discord.gg/FJHvuGs


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